What reasons you had to initially deny you might be ASD

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I didn't really feel different from the other kids until the day I was diagnosed - then I felt separated from the other kids because I had this label they didn't have.

Before the diagnosis I just felt badly behaved and dumb. When I was 5-6 I remember the other kids being able to write sentences while I pushed my paper away and said "don't want to write!" and "can't do it!" and the teacher got exasperated.

For comparing myself from a stereotypical level 3 case, of course.

Otherwise --

I don't suffer from anxiety disorders. If I had, I recovered without professional help or meds (not even self medication) it just went away and I've yet to see any other account that's been the case.
I don't have a strict need for routine.
I don't fear change.
I don't have this constant or frequent need for certainty or intolerance against uncertainty.
I'm not clumsy.
I don't work hard to pass.
I don't have the same stories about trauma and being too hung up on it.
I make friends too easily despite disinterest.
I don't have a strong or lot of compulsions related to stimming or special interests.
So no lining up toys, no info dumping and inserting special interest in every conversation I have, no spouting random facts...
I'm not alexithymic or inexpressive -- I even try hard to be like that, I just am not.
I don't have phobias or crippling fears.

I only have 'disinterest' not 'hostility' or 'fear' towards social interactions nor am incapable of maintaining one.
I'm not a true introvert.

I don't do 'nerdy' stuff and lean towards 'drama' sorts despite wanting to do the opposite.
In which is further disonating and confirms aspects of my mind and brain and not just my body, is "not who I'm".

I don't have a lot of health issues. But that would definitely would cause me more distress than autism itself would ever be.



At worst, in scenarios of denying myself of the label autism -- I'll still have a slew of psychosocial issues -- emotional dysregulation combined with several sensitivities (both sensory and internally biological) and a very uneven IQ profile that doesn't favor verbal abilities.

And somewhat acquired ADD like symptoms due to whatever untreated menstrual disorder that I might be undiagnosed with.

Symptoms of emotional dysregulation present throughout childhood, went worse during prepubescent years.
Became more unpredictable since adolescence. In which just lead to my diagnosis.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

That would have been impossible at the time of my diagnosis.

I couldn't speak, and I couldn't write----so I had no way to "deny" my diagnosis.

Edna isn't saying she is L3.
She's saying she didn't think she was ASD because she compared herself to L3.

L3 wouldn't necessarily keep a person from speaking or communicating on a forum.

There was initial confusion among the doctors about how to treat me, since I had sought out help to deal with depression. Was quickly labelled "atypical", and my main doc at the time put me through an official assessment for Aspergers (which can't be overturned unless I can prove professional negligence by my assessor). Later they also added psychosis to the list (suspected schizophrenia), and my current doc threw bipolar into the mix, too.

I'd gladly have accepted being autistic but because of all the other mental baggage I was too busy just trying to stay alive for the six years that passed since my assessment.

Back at the turn of the millennium, while going into the second half of my twenties, I realized that I was "odd" but always accepted the "professional's" explanation that I had ADHD combined with social anxiety. I'd never heard about ASD, or Asperger's as it was called then, but when I insisted that those past therapists got it wrong to a new therapist, she correctly diagnosed me as ASD - yet I didn't fit all the criteria. I didn't have strong sensory reactions to lights, clothing textures, certain noises with a "dog whistle" effect or any of that - other ASD traits had faded away, like the last time I had a meltdown was at age 15, and right around that time I ceased to have narrow and intense interests. I also didn't have adherence to routine, and in high school, I regularly alternated three different routes to school from home and I always enjoyed eating a variety of foods.

It was just the SOCIAL (surprise, surprise) aspects that continued to plague me. Not reading between the lines, or getting blindsided by someone being upset with me. Trouble relating to people, or reciprocating empathy. I also heard behind-the-back comments that I had some eccentric habits and lacked common sense, so, yeah, the Asperger's shoe still fit, albeit not entirely

I never thought about it when I was Young....just knew I was different

ie at 3 school talked to my mum as I was not mixing with the the other children and when they did force me to mix I was not accepted..(ie had a twitch in my nose that they thought meant I was pulling faces at them etc).

i was upset as I was happy playing alone

it continues to this day...i am labelled as mentally ill for not needing or being able to cope with a lot of social interaction...they seem to think it means I am depressed

no not really...too much socialising depresses me, I am ok by myself...get tired trying to be normal...pressured by society.

I thought a diagnosis of Asperger's might help but it has made things worse

they seem to think I am lonely and want to soci\lise every day when I do not and keep trying to give me special Ed when I have an iq oq off 140

I'm autistic, not stupid

yes I am useless when it comes to running a house or being normal but I can write you an A* research project academically.

the problem is is that then nts think I can transfer my skills over...errrrr

I also need a better keyboard where I can type properly lol

None. My life and family history finally made sense.

The only so-called depictions I had encountered until the late 1990s were "Rainman" and references to male boys with "violent behaviour problems". As I was not a male, man, boy nor violently behaviourly disordered, how could I have regarded myself as autistic? I saw myself only as "different" because I loved accumulating knowledge, putting that to good use at university and my special interests were the history of 20th century music, and nature.

So what led to my moment of realization? Small talk was always the most tiresome strain - my anxiety about engaging in it accumulated over time, and by my sixth decade I was desperate to avoid social encounters with strangers; unfortunately this was not always possible, to my detriment. Eventually I joined a social anxiety group and fitted in there so well that I assumed that was the core of my problem for a brief time, then as I was reading articles about it one night a reference led me to Wrong Planet by chance and that changed everything.

Never was I in a state of wilful denial about being AS, I was simply and completely unexposed to any realistic depiction of AS for most of my life. My accidental discovery of Wrong Planet was instantly transformative.

I wasn’t sure if my autistic traits would be considered autism or if they’d be considered the result of the trauma I’d experienced. They weren’t because I’ve always had them, but sometimes people aren’t appropriately diagnosed because of complicating factors, I think.

I was diagnosed with autism and and a couple of psychological disorders.

I was “fortunate” in that there was no doubt of my autism at the time of my diagnosis. It was the 1960s. I exhibited most of the Kannerian, “classical” symptoms.

I am of the opinion that there are women who are “classically” autistic; and there are also some who might have what is theoretically termed a “female presentation.” I have met women who have an “Aspergian” presentation which does not differ much from a “male” Aspergian presentation. One such person was the older sister of a good friend of mine.

In addition to the stuff I mentioned in an earlier post, I can also recall several times where I engaged freely in sarcasm, or I acted in a passive-aggressive manner hoping someone else would "pick up the hint" and acted as I hoped they would. Which is totally part of the NT psyche. Yet apparently I wasn't good at intuitively discerning these emotional nuances in others, most of the time.