Why I should feel empathy and remorse to my former bullies?

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FranzOren
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03 Jun 2022, 9:33 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I agree with that…that we idealize the past. In many ways, most people have it better these days than even, say, during the early 20th century.

But I also believe that increased isolation and reliance on the Internet has caused a sort of amoral nihilism to become more common in this day and age.


Isolation and internet can cause personality changes as well?



kraftiekortie
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03 Jun 2022, 9:37 am

I believe it can.

I used to be isolated, and that changed me for the worse until I acquired perspective.



TwilightPrincess
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03 Jun 2022, 9:39 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
But I also believe that increased isolation and reliance on the Internet has caused a sort of amoral nihilism to become more common in this day and age.


I’ve not really seen much “amoral nihilism” and I can’t compare it to the “amoral nihilism” in the past to see if there’s an increase or decrease.

I see a lot of positives in general. I think it connects people.

I’m not sure if so many would be supporting Ukraine in the pre-internet days.



kraftiekortie
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03 Jun 2022, 9:43 am

What I mean….is that for some people, “anything goes.” There is little moral sense. There is little morality to offset base emotions. It’s “killed or be killed” always. A perpetual Charles Bronson movie in their minds when it comes to human relationships.

Otherwise, how can a young adult find any justification for killing young schoolchildren? There’s only one reason for this to be credible: amorality.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 03 Jun 2022, 9:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

TwilightPrincess
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03 Jun 2022, 9:45 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
What I mean….is that for some people, “anything goes.” There is little moral sense. There is little morality to offset base emotions. It’s “killed or be killed” always. A perpetual Charles Bronson movie in their minds when it comes to human relationships.


That’s true, but there have always been people like that.

I think it’s related to biology. Some people are born with a smaller predisposition for empathy than others.



TwilightPrincess
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03 Jun 2022, 9:47 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Otherwise, how can a young adult find any justification for killing young schoolchildren? There’s only one reason for this to be credible: amorality.


No, there’s not only “one reason for this to be credible.” Psychologists think that sociopathy is caused by a mixture of biological and environmental factors.



kraftiekortie
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03 Jun 2022, 9:55 am

I know that…but I don’t find that being the victim of these disorders justifies these acts, renders them credible.

It might provide a “reason”—but that’s as far as it goes.



FranzOren
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03 Jun 2022, 9:55 am

It's also psychopathy as well.



Fnord
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03 Jun 2022, 10:01 am

FranzOren wrote:
It's also psychopathy as well.
While psychopathy may be A cause, it is not THE cause for all bullying.



FranzOren
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03 Jun 2022, 10:08 am

That makes sense.

It's just that broad diagnosis for psychopaths and sociopaths is Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder in DSM-5-TR.

There are studies that grandiose narcissists are actually psychopaths, while covert narcissists are the real narcissists.


Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl ... 0duplicity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6coOyagz9A



Fnord
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03 Jun 2022, 10:18 am

You might be better off to leave the diagnoses to those who are qualified to make them.

According to experts, people who bully others may:

• be in schools where conduct problems and bullying are not properly addressed.

• have been bullied in the past or currently.

• have come from families where the adults are overly lenient or where there is low parental involvement in their lives.

• have come from families where there is bullying, aggression, or violence at home.

• have experienced being excluded, not accepted, or stigmatized at school.

• have feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem, so they bully to make themselves feel more powerful.

• have parents and caregivers that do not provide emotional support or communication.

• have parents or caregivers who respond in an authoritarian or reactive way.

• not have skills for handling social situations in healthy, positive ways.

• not know how to control their emotions, so they take out their feelings on other people.

• not understand other people's emotions and feelings.

Now, the mere fact you may understand these reasons does not mean you are required to feel empathy for bullies.


 SOURCE 



FranzOren
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03 Jun 2022, 11:41 am

Thank you! I will do a test for Unspecified Personality Disorder with my psychiatrist, because self-diagnosing is not a good idea.



Joe90
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03 Jun 2022, 11:54 am

Because Aspies are obliged to feel empathy and sympathy for everyone, no matter how good or bad they are, while NTs are allowed to lack sympathy and empathy for those different to them yet still be the ones that don't lack empathy.

Double standards.


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FranzOren
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03 Jun 2022, 12:02 pm

Not everyone with ASD have empathy and remorse. There are some people like me with ASD that have some milder symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but due to being victimized for a long time during my childhood and adolescence.

My emapthy and remorse is more intact than most people with Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.



kraftiekortie
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03 Jun 2022, 12:18 pm

Of course it's not fair----but it's better to feel empathy and sympathy than to not feel it.



TwilightPrincess
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03 Jun 2022, 12:19 pm

FranzOren wrote:
Not everyone with ASD have empathy and remorse. There are some people like me with ASD that have some milder symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but due to being victimized for a long time during my childhood and adolescence.

My emapthy and remorse is more intact than most people with Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.


Have you been diagnosed with those disorders?

If you had them, you probably wouldn’t care or worry about it.