ASD adults and aggression - thoughts?

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The tracking or how common violence is in the Autistic community is not an accurate science. It's not possible to track because so many people are not diagnosed. It is also completely true that there are far more non violent Autistics then there are violent ones.

Whoa. I just read the article too. Talk about victim-blaming. It's saying that aggression is the result of delusional resentment from people who feel ostracised by a society they want to join?

Wow. Let him know he's dead wrong and, if he's NT, he's flattering himself too much.

Personally I don't want to join that society and I'm not an anti-social hater who gets mixed up about life.

Has he ever heard of SPD?!

He is so wrong about so many things. I suggest you leave a voicemail for him also. But if he does return my call, I will definitely mention what you said. He says that he has 30 years experience so I imagine that he is a stuck up prick with his head up his own behind who insists that he is an expert. I can't even believe that he wrote this article in a way that implies that most, if not all of Aspergian adults are like what he claims. And it's interesting that he published the article in 2019 and he is in the US. The Asperger's diagnosis was removed from the DSM 5 in 2013 which was six years before he published this article and yet he still uses the term Asperger's. That, in and of itself, is not a huge deal but it does make me question if he has done any recent research at all on ASD. His beliefs seem to be archaic at best.

LMAO good point.

I've never left a voicemail message in my life because of mutism / phone-phobia.

I could send a badass critique by email, though.

I totally understand about the phone mutism thing! I will see if he put an email address and if I find it I will post it here for you. You and I my friend, just a couple of badass Autistic chicks!!

I don't even disagree with the fact we might seem aggressive, depending on the definition of "aggressive". I just don't agree with one word of his reasons why.

I think people might view us as "aggressive" at times, but by that I mean we emit stress signals and we are often in fight or flight mode with high adrenaline for pure survival tactics. It doesn't mean I'm going to physically hit or harm anyone but he doesn't make that distinction, and it leaves us sounding like potential criminals.

My stress signals or negative energy are almost always a response to sensory overwhelm a) sight - photophobia, b) smell - smellophobia and chemical sensitivities, c) touch - textile aversions and allergies, d) sound - misophonia and hyperacusis, e) taste - same foods and mouth feel.

This can make my adrenaline surge even when I'm alone and not in his idyllic NT society.

Socially, I will probably emit anxiety cues which the uninformed will take personally, but that means I don't want to be there. It doesn't mean I'm going to hurt anyone or that I'm butt-hurt about not being included in more NT reindeer games.

Last edited by IsabellaLinton on 14 Jul 2022, 4:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh my gosh, Isabella, you should see how he self promotes himself on his site. If you go to the little square with his pic on it where the article is, you will eventually find where it says, "about me." In that section you will scroll down until you see, "contact me." That will open up a box where you can email him directly. His actual email address is not on the site but the box will send an email to him. Once you are in his site, you can also hover over his phone number and the email box will also open up. I will be very curious for you to tell me how a conversation goes between the two of you.

I'm on my way out (into NT society --- arghhhhh), but I'll take a look later.

Thanks for the info.

I can come off as aggressive as well but I am not an aggressive person at all. I don't have an aggressive bone in my body. I can't even defend myself when I am physically attacked. I was barely able to defend myself when I was sexually attacked. But people push me to the point where my tone sounds aggressive to them. But I often remind them that if they were being socially abused and neurologically assaulted like they are doing to me, they would have committed acts of extreme violence that would have landed them in prison. And the fact that this is a reality that so many of us live EVERY SINGLE DAY and yet, not one person has every been harmed ever, by me or people like me, speaks volumes at how not aggressive we, as a community are. Yes, there are some Autistics who are aggressive but the fact that this world is not under a constant threat of extremely aggressive acts by Autistic people who have simply had enough of the daily social abuse and neurological assault says it all.

Last edited by skibum on 14 Jul 2022, 4:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Good luck out there soldier!

Thanks, skibum. I'll take my assault stim-toys.





Everything's Gonna Be OK - S1E10

The actress is autistic. ^

Good plan. I'll provide energy cover for you!

So, you admit there's a problem both with knowing who's autistic as well as with tracking and reporting of violence but think I should still trust the statistical claims that support your position but never any that contradict it?

I agree with you that it's difficult to track the exact rates but to suggest that aggression or physical violence aren't issues among people in at least some portions of the autistic community is to deny reality because it feels unflattering. Not taking issues that impact caregivers seriously will only lead to fewer people working as caregivers.

Not every single report describing problems that are related to autism are relevant for every single individual. If you don't ever have your ability to function because your autism doesn't impact your ability to emotionally regulate in that manner, good for you.

I'd love to be able to pretend this has never been an issue for me in my life and I've witnessed people for whom it's a much more severe issue. It's a worthwhile topic to investigate even if none of it is personally applicable to you.

Not every autism related conversation will be entirely flattering to us. Some of them will be focused on people who smear, or people who's ability to emotionally regulate and who's ability to apply understanding of appropriate behaviour are significant impairments to their overall functioning level.

I'm sorry you and I will miss out on any benefits from better understanding in this regard. I'd prefer for kids with autism to not end up broken by the methods used to deal with many of us when we're young and unruly.

Last edited by funeralxempire on 14 Jul 2022, 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That sounds a lot more like abusive conditioning in response to your childhood aggression when than a lifelong lack of aggression.

That sort of abusive conditioning leads to the sort of inability to use aggression when appropriate and often to even be unable to stand-up for ourselves. Breaking us to make us push-overs hurts us, even if it's the easiest way to deal with us as kids it f***s us up as adults.

Not learning to manage those traits in a healthy manner harms us whether it's more like you describe or like I deal with, and honestly, while I'm more open about aggressive tendencies I also deal with a lot of shutdowns in instances where they're not appropriate, or other humiliating moments of 'running out of emotional bandwidth without a proper outlet' and feel that addressing the cause is the only potential beneficial solution for us.

Any other solution just helps others and costs us our whole lives.

First of all, I never said that violence wasn't a problem or that it doesn't exist. In fact, I told you that I, myself, have been a caretaker of an Autistic teenager who would beat up both of his parents regularly. I never said that we should not find solutions. What I am saying is that this article is misleading. It makes people believe that we are all violent or that the majority of us are. It claims things about us as a whole that are completely untrue. Yes, there are some people who are Autistic who are like this psychologist claims. They do exist and they need to be understood and helped. But the majority of the Autistic community is not this way. This is what I am saying. Articles like this are incredibly dangerous because it paints a false picture.

Yes, the Autistic people who have these struggles are real and they need real understanding and real help as do their families. But to write an article that implies that all, or the majority of the Aspergian community is like this, is absolutely unacceptable. This is what I am saying.

If that's the impression it left you with, I can understand that it's troubling. I just don't share that impression.

That said, it's likely where we stand is closer than where our perspectives appear to be coming from.

I think overall we're probably not far off from the general idea that how aggression among autistics right now is dealt with hurts everyone involved (both adults and kids with autism and the caregivers whether pros or family) and improvements are needed.

I went through cycles of becoming deeply inhibited towards expressing aggression only to finally be placed in a situation where no other option existed. I'd like to keep as few of us from occupying either of those extremes as possible, but also, for those who's temperament is passive but still have moments of hyper-aggression, I'd imagine the help also means they'll have less guilt and regrets over actions that occurred during meltdowns or similar states.

Last edited by funeralxempire on 14 Jul 2022, 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.