Talking to therapists...

Post Reply New Topic

sounds like a great therapist who puts a lot of faith in your ability to grow as a person [insert sarcasm here]

why do you bother going?

Good question. It's a recent phenomenon for me, this going to a therapist. I went initially to see if I do have AS. My GP suggested going as well, because she thinks I'm co dependent, a label I don't agree with. I'll probably stop going pretty soon. Even my mother thinks it's all BS!

I've found the only way around this phenomenom is to explain quite explicitly upfront that any discussion will always be responded to in exactly the same manner. That the words that are used are exactly what they mean and do not stand for anything else.

I've found that NTs place extra meaning on almost everything. You say, "I like dogs." They will interpret that as you like dogs, but also that you may be faithful (like dogs I guess), that you're fun loving, or who knows what else. When all you really meant was, "I like dogs."

If you had wanted to convey those "extra" meanings, you would have stated them as such.


Since I've been using this technique, my friends certainly understand me a lot better and it's much easier for me to interact with them also as I don't have to worry quite so much about being misunderstood.

The really truly hard part is getting the other people to believe what this and react accordingly.

therapy will only hurt you more than help you.

there is no normal, being is a wide open spectrum.

I have noticed that a lot of you talk about your therapy and they just tell you what you can't do and tell you you're messed up for life. That's not going to help.

Well, in my therapists defense, she has never told me I couldn't do anything. As a matter of fact she has told me I could do anyhting I want to if I so choose. It's just that some things require a little more social ability than I have, so she's offering me the tools to get along if I want to.

Trouble is, I don't want to. So now I'm an Avoidant Personality. Which is not good. Surely I am not accomplishing all I could if I were to behave differently. And it isn't "normal" to not have a lot of friends. Well, guess I won't ever be normal then!

[/quote] I don't think my therapist is actually listening to me. She has a standard called normal (not sure that'd be her exact word, but...) that she measures me against, and her therapy is geared toward making me fit that standard. [/quote]

It sounds like she is telling you what you can't do or ought not to do, which is be yourself.

My therapist does that as well, but I attribute it to him also having a typical way of thinking. While I cannot wrap my mind around some of the things he asks me to do because I do not know how to apply them at all to anything, he cannot wrap his mind around why it is so difficult for me. He finds talking to me very interesting, as well as me finding his views rather interesting. Maybe that is why I keep going. I can ask him why things get interpreted the way that they do and he will tell me usually, or he will say that he isn't sure what I am saying at times, and neither of us get offended by the other, lol. We both wind up confused I'm pretty sure, but maybe that's the whole point as to why I keep going.

I shouldn't be going just to learn more or to try to be understood, as therapy is supposedly for healing. But to me, I guess I look at being understood as healing in a sense, it just isn't the typical way of "healing". I don't doubt that he's completely baffled as to why I keep going back, just as I'm baffled that he doesn't grasp that I say things exactly how I see them with no hidden meanings.

I don't think my therapist is actually listening to me. She has a standard called normal (not sure that'd be her exact word, but...) that she measures me against, and her therapy is geared toward making me fit that standard. [/quote]

It sounds like she is telling you what you can't do or ought not to do, which is be yourself.[/quote]

Well, I guess it's true. She's telling me I have to make some choices, but either way I guess it sounds like I have to change myself. This is why I may not be going to therapy much longer.

I agree with you, nobodyzdream, being understood is healing! That is, I think, why I am currently going to therapy. I'm struggling to be recognized for who I am. I'll have to fight any attempts to change me.