IsabellaLinton wrote:
Why would other people know who your crush is?
Having a crush is never a problem, assuming it's quiet and private.
Being demonstrative about your feelings is another matter altogether.
Most people are completely repelled by unwanted gestures of love.
I think that's more or less correct. It hardly ever did me any good to share the overwhelmingly strong feelings I used to get when I was getting romantically involved. So I learned to bottle it. It might have been different if I'd had a friend or two who was sympathetic and discreet, but such people are probably quite rare. I suppose a good counsellor or therapist might be the only help for it. I very gradually became more the master of such feelings rather than letting them master me, and to fall in love less readily. I learned that getting infatuated with somebody I barely knew was absurd, and very likely doomed to failure and disappointment. And it's often seen as a sign of great inferiority or contemptible weirdness among judgemental people. It's a shame it's that way, because having to hide intense feelings seems downright unhealthy.