Being Suspicious

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I think I have Pronoia : the feeling that people are conspiring to help me behind my back. Seriously, I never care nor think about what people are up to. If there is an opposite of paranoia, I have it. I'm just too self-absorbed, thinking about myself / my latest hobby - currently BFDH crystal morphology prediction.

I wonder if is possible to be too hypervigilant, that the very fear of betrayal itself precipitates behaviors in an other that is mistaken as betrayal. For example, questioning the loyalty of a friend could cause that friend to contradict such an accusation, in an angry and vociferous manner, their contradiction looks like disloyalty. Such a pattern would tend to repeat itself, deepening the belief that people can't be trusted. I would predict that such a suspicious person would believe that hidden beneath outward charm and friendliness, there is a malicious turncoat; one just needs to look hard enough to find it.

A bit like this Monty Python sketch...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMlv3ripSM[/youtube]

No. I tend to be trusting and somewhat child-like, and open up at the first opportunity (sometimes too much, I suppose). This happens even when I'm feeling very down and appear withdrawn and distant from outside, so that nobody really expects this sort of sincerity from me.

Now I've learned to be more cautious about telling things to people, and to monitor what I'm saying and how much I open up, emotionally, but it's still too easy for me to start treating somebody I barely know as a good friend.

I try to be as open-minded as possible with people. I am only suspicious of people if they give me a good reason to be.

Tim

when i lived with my stepdad a few years ago i thought he was going to put posion in my food. i knew it wasnt real but i always had that feeling for some reason wich is why i never ate anything he cooked or tryed to feed me

This sounds like me. I hate the fact that I am so darn paranoid. But I can't seem to get around it.

I'm hopelessly naïve; it generally takes me awhile to realize that I'm being had.

I have to say that is a very realistic fear. Personally I deal with it by NEVER, under ANY circumstances feeling betrayed unless I have clear and irrefutable evidence that a person has done something consciously and deliberately destructive.

I am sure this stringent standard lets all sorts of obnoxious behaviour pass unremarked, but it avoids paranoia. Even so, whenever I DO catch one out, without fail they resort to the most ridiculous and transparent excuses and passive aggression to try and convince me that their tawdry behaviour either:
a) Did not actually happen
b) Was well intentioned
c) Was no better than I deserve anyway
Often in rapid succession...

When that happens I have to say that it DOES destroy any capacity I have for trust.

The idiots NEVER get it that all they have to do is admit what they did (when I have caught them out anyway, what do they have to lose?) and convince me that they will never try to do the same thing again...

M

I get suspicious when friends show interest in me... when it's a group... I mean I feel flattered and complimented when it's like one or two people... but when a group feel interested in what I'm like... I feel suspicious no doubt. I feel that it could all be a big act and then bam! talking behind my back and things... but I don't think this is the case at least... not anymore. I feel very lucky atm because I don't feel that deep down I'm the sort of guy who's vulnerable of that sort of thing.

My 9 year old son with AS is very suspicious/paranoid - he thinks people are always being mean to him.

His psychologist says it's because his anxiety levels are so high and he's living with the 'flight or fight' response.

Also, he's so incredibly confused in social situations. We're working on lowering his anxiety levels, so he can use logic to work out people's intention.

My 7 year old son with AS is so happy in his own world he doesn't care what others think.

Helen

Yes, I have major issues with paranoia and suspicion as experience has taught me not to trust people as far as I can throw most of them.

Then that is NOT paranoia or suspicion...it is called C.A.U.T.I.O.N. and is a GOOD thing.

M

Give your 7 year old time. He'll wise up! I went the SAME way! BTW Did you ever finish the notes on the attwood conference?

Religious people sometimes say "I fear no-one but god". The two statements make an interesting counterbalance.

I often, suspect ulterior motives from people. I never return food at a restaurant, unless I plan to go hungry, because I fear retaliation. I fear poisoning, and I have no idea why. I don't think I can say I trust anyone completely. Most people, about as far as I can throw them with both hands tied behind my back. I wasn't born like this though. It came from years of cruel humiliation and having my food screwed with a few times.

I'm both suspicious and too trusting. It seems I aways end up trusting the people I should be suspicious of and being suspicious of the people I should trust.

Yes. Check on link in my signature.

There was some more information he gave, but my notes were so scrappy I wasn't able to remember accurately what he said and therefore didn't post.

Helen