Been told I "wear my heart on my sleeves"

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Yes I think it's true that people don't usually like it. If they don't feel they can "read" you,
they don't know what you might do, which scares them and makes them suspicious. But there might be a sweet spot in the middle. I don't know why they don't like "heart on sleeve" people, or even if they particularly don't. Maybe it depends on the local culture. I guess in the UK there's the "British reserve" thing, which might be dying out. Local cultures pick up all kinds of odd ways and make them some kind of test of respectability.

the only emotion i openly express is frustration and not in the most socially appropriate way

I think with me it's due to suffering in silence in my early high school years. Around the age of 11-14 I was often randomly picked on by kids and I just ignored it and never reacted. I was just seen as a weak wimp who wouldn't say boo to a goose, and the bullies were like "she's so easy to target, she doesn't even get upset!" Yes - believe it or not most bullies don't want a reaction, and if they do just want a reaction then really they're probably not that artful. Real bullies could spend years bullying you whether you react or not. If you don't react they still get a kick out of bullying you. In fact some bullies get so frustrated that you don't react, that they would go through hell and high water to cross the line to actually make you react, like physically beating you up or worse.

I wish I had of reacted more back then. I did in my later high school years, but then everyone just called me an attention seeker or they played the victim. You can't win either way with bullies. The best way to not be bullied is to have friends and be popular, because bullies feel threatened by groups, and even if you are still being bullied despite being popular, it's easier to deal with or to hold your head up high and not let it get to you. But that is something I'll never, ever be, so it just makes me an easy target, and naturally I will be more sensitive to it. Being bullied can make you feel isolated and hated. I hate being bullied.

To "wear your heart on your sleeves" is not necessarily something insulting. It just means you are emotionally expressive.

I believe, once you stop responding to this bully-guy, and just go about your business, that he will stop being a jerk to you.

I've had people be jerks to me at work. I would just ignore them. Or snap back at them. Then, these people started respecting me.

^ Read the post above your's.

I understand that. I went through almost the same exact thing----except when I did react, I would just get laughed at. I was "wimp" kid. A kid with "cooties." A ret*d. The Whole Nine Yards.

When I started working, I learned that I had to stand up for myself. People would try to screw with me---and they did. But then I started standing up for myself. The people screwing with me started respecting me. I never was a "popular" person; I was seen as being sort of weird, and kept out of the loop. But I was, at least, respected.

You can't let these bullies KNOW that they get to you.

Standing up for myself just makes things worse. He'd probably play the victim, or things will escalate into an argument, which isn't what I want. Also I can't always think of the right words to say until it's too late. I stutter and mumble, and I seem to think that not arguing back will earn respect.

I'm just scared of the outcome. If I say "don't talk to me like that" or something I'm scared he might blurt out something personally insulting and then play the victim. I'm insecure about myself, and I don't want any words of dejection said to me.

Last edited by Joe90 on 19 Jan 2023, 9:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not saying "argue back." I'm saying keep it "strictly business."

Learning assertive communication. This is the solution to your problem.

It's OK, I've just learnt today that I'm not the only one he is an as*hole to. Turns out he's causing trouble for a lot of co-workers and lots of us have filed in a complaint against him, and the big boss isn't happy with him. So it isn't actually going to be solved by me being assertive. He's an as*hole and a leopard doesn't change its spots.

It's actually lifted a bit of weight of my shoulders, because I was going around thinking it was my fault.

That's great. Hope everything goes well for you.

I've also been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I see that as a good sign. People know how sweet I am.