Resentment towards NTs

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Here and there I've been known to think "you bastards" when I've noticed some of them relating to each other more easily than they've been relating to me, but I don't bear any permanent grudge about it, and these days I tend to stay out of situations where the contrast is painfully noticeable. I think it's natural to feel that way, when somebody is getting something good that you aren't getting. But I tend to think that my ways of relating to people are somehow stronger and healthier than a lot of the more superficial, schmoozy stuff that goes on in mainstream society. It's not as if I've ever been a complete outcast, though it's been close to that at times.

The other thing is that I was diagnosed late in life, so I didn't pick up the habit of seeing my relationship with the world as ASD v. NT. I did notice a big disconnect between myself and mainstream society, and to this day I tend to think of the mainstream as a bunch of idiots who are interested in boring and unhealthy things. But mostly I try to give each individual a chance, and remember that the complete-and-utter mainstream person probably doesn't exist.

I'll be honest with you, I did read that thread and had no idea what to say except hugs

That's a good point, before my Dx everyone else in the world were 'normal'.

Same here. But I did feel like I was an alien. I just didn't understand why I felt that way. I always felt that I wasn't normal, but I didn't think that I was a "different species" even though I felt like I was.

I believe that so-called "victim culture" has a valid place, insofar as sometimes we really are victims, and it is desirable to have social movements that fight for justice on a societal scale, including disability rights.

But there is certainly such a thing as excessive victim mentality. We need to choose our battles. Although we do face real injustices, it's not productive to blame those injustices for absolutely everything that goes wrong in our lives. Nor is it productive to hate all members of a relatively privileged class (NT's, in our case). We do need to take personal responsibility to do what we can to improve our lives.

Before my DX, I was "normal" myself, or so I thought - at least in as far as I wanted to be normal. With time I started to feel I wanted to be eccentric, but I always thought I had a choice until I was diagnosed.

I agree.

While there is such a thing as excessive victim mentality, there is also the opposite extreme of an excessive emphasis on personal responsibility.

Back in the 1970's, there was something called "Erhard Seminars Training" (EST) that took the idea of personal responsibility to the nth degree, giving rise to the following joke:

Did you hear the one about the gunman who robbed an EST seminar? After he took everyone's watches and wallets, he said (repeating some EST slogans): "Now everyone, don't complain! Remember, you create your own reality! You, and only you, are responsible for everything that happens to you! Good night!"

Sure, personal responsibility plus sympathy is the better way.

Thank you.

Try 4 decades of gang-stalking harassment by NTs.
You might change your mind.

I understand

You rang?

You say that as though it is a bad thing.
Since I became a virtual hermit, life hasn't been better for me.

I have NEVER met a "normal" person in my life.
Seriously.

I don't think being a hermit is a bad thing at all. It might actually be nice. It's just not realistically possible for me.

I resent oppression. All those years I was told it was my problem and believed it: starting in the 1970s clear through 2021 in a big way, and continuing in a bad-habit way. I'm still trying to parse my part (which was my default and almost shed me of life's burden too many times) and the perpetuators' parts.

My (NT) sister recently commented on how she didn't believe my mom decades ago when my mom talked about oppression based on gender, but now 30 years later my sister GETS IT. Now that my immigrant BIPOC husband is privy to the opportunities his children have, he can clearly see those he was denied (despite his tries).

I resent that the dominant culture demands I accommodate those with invisible privileges and that it would be for me to educate that majority or avoid them. Like any minority --- it's a relief to be in an understanding environment --- but if the majority is clueless, it's very uncomfortable. I think the majority People (NT and ASD alike) are clueless about ASD (I was up until 2019). The cats and dogs know more than we do.