Dealing with eye contact problem

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I started.wearing sunglasses everywhere so people.wouldn't notice I wasn't looking in their eyes. Seems to work.

My therapist gave me a button that says does not make eye contact. It made me feel really uncomfortable cause it's seems like it draws more attention. So never use it.

I'd just put a bag over my whole self if I could.

I don't even want people seeing my body.

I just want to be invisible.

The "correct" answer is to look people in the face roughly between the eyes to punctuate your points. People don't know or care why you're looking, but they expect you to gauge their reaction. Then a couple seconds of talking, then thoughtful look away as they respond as if you're considering what they said. Then look back with another point made.

It's pretty dumb but it's been working for decades.

I think if I were to fake it at all, I'd need to look at their forehead or the top of their head.
Anything lower like their mouth or neck, and my eyes would look half shut or downcast.
I've been criticised all my life for looking like I'm stoned because my eyes are always looking down.

Easy for me.
I watch their lips
Because I need to lipread.
It's a get out of jail free card.

By far, autism, more than any other condition, is responsible for eye contact issues. But this doesn't mean that everyone with ASD has major eye contact issues.

So in my case, I have a history of over-thinking eye contact, to the extent that when I've listened to someone talking and talking, I felt I had to glue my eyes to theirs. This was something I never gave too much thought to, until I'd then start wondering if they thought I was staring too much. I'd fixate on their left eye. As seconds lasped, I'd want to shift to their right eye, figuring if I kept fixed on their left eye, they'd notice this. So to "even it out," I'd think I should go to their right eye.

But then I'd think, "If I do that, they'll notice, and I'll come off as creepy." So maybe I'd then still shift to their right eye, but only for a moment, then go back to the left.

I'd wonder at times if they could read something into me that wasn't true. I'd wonder if they liked me.

ALL because of the eye contact. Nevertheless, I can easily win a staring contest, and when I'm angry, I will drill my eyes smack into the offender's.

When I'M the speaker, I don't like maintaining eye contact too much because it competes with my talking for my cognitive bandwidth.

Eye contact has never been "uncomfortable" or "painful," though. I consider it very important for communicating to others. People will always be looking at my eyes, so I use them to convey intent and emotions to them. However, THEIR eye contact doesn't carry as much weight as does their overall facial expression paired with their words and tone of voice.

I was diagnosed autistic last year, and since then, I've decided NOT TO CARE if so meone thinks my eye contact is too starey when I'm listening, or too drifty when I'm speaking.

What's intriguing is that since my diagnosis, I always think about eye contact when I'm listening to someone or speaking with someone new.

I've also begun noticing that in transient, fleeting interactions where eye contact happens for only a second or two, such as greeting the front desk person at the gym, I tend to look BETWEEN their eyes. I think I do this because I want to keep the interaction thin and superficial.

But if we begin chit-chatting, I'll make direct eye contact.

With that all said, a good trick to give better eye contact is to remind yourself that if you avoid it too much, you'll come off as passive, insecure, easily bullied, not feeling in control, lacking confidence, etc. These presentations can attract a bully or predator, or, at a minimum, make you lose an argument or not get what's rightfully yours, such as a refund for a defective product or some compensation for poor customer service.

I rarely make any actual eye contact with other humans in real life (unless I'm curious about someone's eye color). In situations where I must make "eye contact" with other real life humans (like if somebody insists I do), I usually just stare into their mouths. This trick has fooled every single neurotypical I've tried this on.