First Part Of The Assessment...

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Is interesting. I do have friends whom I really value as I have found it hard to find friends. They are all odd in their own little ways and when I started researching, one of my friends I know has traits but unusual. Let me explain.
He has the ability to talk to complete strangers and instantlyconect with them as if they had always known each other. (My Dad was very much like that). I put him to the test once and just handed him the phone without telling someone I knew on the other end that he didn't know (Who I also believe strongly is on the spectrum) and both of them started talking in depth about things! That is the opposite of me because I go quiet and then slowly open up... But so fat this part is an NT trait.... (And a VERY desirable trait to have too!)
BUT then if one gets to know him, and one digs deeper he has very obvious and I would say almost dissabling traits that effect his life!
Ever since I first knew him and we got together on occasions for cycling, if we would have food, he would only buy chips from a chip shop. (Similar to soft fries to american folk. Not what you call chips which we call crisps!)
He hardly ate and is very thin. He would starve himself to buy bicycles, ride them home and they would then sit in his garden (No room in his house), rusting away andnot be used!
But when he ate it was always chips which had to come from a chip shop. If my Mum made chips he would not eat them.
We were onto him and many others were saying to eat something else, and so many people he knew told him that so he did. He started eating carrots. But... Everything was carrots. I tried to say to eat chips and carrots but nope! Just carrots! (Think he is back on chips these days!)
He is a bit like me in a way in that he wears older clothes. I do because they are comfortable. I usually take the labels (Tags) off as they annoy me! Don't think he does that BUT he wears clothes out and beyond! I will give an example to how extreme he goes! (And it is quite an issue!)
When my Dad was alive we were invited to attend a wedding which was a couple of hours drive away. Not too far but a distance. He cycled over as it was easier for him to spend the night and have my mother insist he has a shower (He is older than me but never baths or showers nd he can get rathef smelly!) Now it was one of the few times I have known him to shower. Think he may wash if someone complains but he really gets offended if someone complains!
Now my Mum had a spare suite his size if I remember. Suite was not a problem. Mum found a shirt that was a bit big buy it would do, along with a tie. Mum asked "Do you have socks?" as it was no problem to find him socks.
"Yes I have socks" he said.
So we thought nothing of it, and went in the car up to the wedding. In the middle of the wedding Mum looked down and was horrified! Shesaw his socks! They were just the elastic tops of the socks with the remains of material hanging off, but hardly any material left at all. Nothing anywhere near his feet! Would puzzle me why he even put them on as it was just the elasticated tops!
It actually is a problem as apart from the smell when he meets people, he now has cateracts and the last time I saw him his trousers and pants were in such a state one could plainly see a view one should not see! and he was walking around in his nearest town like that, so it is a real problem. He honestly does not mean to offend. He just does not realize. But if one tells him he is really hurt! So what can one do?
We have given him so many clothes and so have others but he won't transplant his clothes until he wears every last bit of them out!
His elderly Mum was the same but not so extreme. The busses went up from £1.70 to £1.75 to do the trip into his nearest town which was about a mile and a half. She would walk instead as it went up by 5 pence. And she would walk in slippers. Now she fell over a small crack in the pavement and she complained to the coucil (State?) and she had compensation as she had black eyes as she fell on her nose. (She was in her early 90's I think at the time? Or close to that age), so it was quite a concern.
Then she fell again and she said someone came out and refused to compensate her any more! So I was puzzled, but looked at her slippers (As they were shoes designed for indoor use, but she would use them for walking outdoors in as well. Probably as they were comfortable if she had swollen feet?) The soles were coming off and the front of the sole would fold over in half and touch the back of the sole if that made sense. I said "No wonder the council won't pay out. Look at your slippers!" With that my friend said "She has a brand new pair inthe cupboard but she won't wear them util she wears these out first". They were beyond worn out!
When she died she had a good few thousand in her bank account, but the funeral directors twlked my friend into spending way over what was neccessary and ended up with clearing him out orclose to that! Was around £7500 in those days and prices have more than doubled since then.
Both of them were/are really nice people. Very genuine people! But I am sure he is on the spectrum due to his obsessions and the very fine deep detail he goes into when he talks about his favourite subjects.
BUT, he can talk to people... Complete strangers and engage in conversations about the topics they want to talk about. (Unlike me who tends to steer conversations towards trains! ).
Oh. Another difference betwesn him and me is that with bicycles (Which we both love), I am a bit of a mechanical perfectionist.He is an asthetic detail specialist and also he goes deep into knowing the exact part numbers of the origional parts fitted to the bike. I just fit what works and may upgrade parts (Some say downgrade as tonme it is about how the part functions rather than the price or the fashion trends... Fashion trends which once got better mechanically but now are a mechanics nightmare... Designed to wear prematurely and fail!)
But his bikes to me are almost unridable (He used to ride them before he had cataracts...) but the tiniest small scratch on his paintwork and he goes buzzerk! Oddly his brake and gear cables can be seized with rust and even the frames could be rusting through and he would hardly notice, but if the slightest bit of paintwork came off or was scratched....! !!
I am sure he is on the spectrum!

I mean I wear old shirts and pants.. the pants tend to get ripped at the bottom.. I like being barefoot. Plus can never get the correct length. Now the sock thing no way have to have the right socks and clean socks. Wasnt always so. Used to go sickness often than finally correlated my shoes smelling horrible to the simple solution of wearing socks. Perhaps an overshare used to hate have underwear on. Wife introduced me to boxers and it felt better than not having something on so now tis how my life is. Sometimes I miss simple solutions because I get stuck doing things the way I know how to do them. But not completely rigid. Like had a horrible mustache till friends let me know how silly it looked. Was like why didn't you tell me sooner. My wife also sees both sides of me communicating. I am capable of entering conversations with total strangers if the subject interests me or the person is particularly interesting. But throw me into a group of people I don't know well and it can be paralyzing. I have no clue why it is that way. Plus you know the autism being a spectrum thing. With many different attributes people can have.

I'm glad you're getting assessed now, Mountain Goat. You have been EXTREMELY patient these past few years.

Looks like I am needing to be even more patient Renaeden. I had done the first part where I met two psycologists earlier in the week and I was supposed to do an online appointment assessment thingie yesterday which I was not too sure about as I don't do well online as it adds another element of stress! (I don't like phonecalls either as I much rather drive 50-100 miles to speak in person than over the phone and I often do that much to the puzzlement of other people! Often get asked by car dealers when ordering parts whenthey hear how far I drove "Why didn't you telephone?" : D But to me online live conversations that are spoken are like using the telephone. I can do it but I am stressed inside! And when I tried it on my brothers phone I got told off where the other person said they didn't want to see the inside of my ear. But I find difficulty looking at people on the phone and talking to them at the same time?)

But what I am saying is, that the thingie I was supposed to do yesterday was cancelled and will be arranged next week? I don't know when yet.

Problem is, to get emails I have to use Mums phone, go onto Google and type in hotmail to get it, and I only tend to do it once ot twice a week. Someone from the benefits office once asked me "Doesn't it bing on your phone when a message comes through? My Mum is worse than me at these gadgets! My phone is small and does not have these things. Someone gave me a brand new sart phone and I gave it away as I found it stresses me becsuse I hardly understand it but also having to look after a phone that is delicate and tracks where I am wherever I go, and people can get in touch and demand things at any time brings stress! Most of the time I had no phone as I was too scared incase it suddenly rang!
I have a small phone where only a few people know the number and I use it for texts like I type on here.

But yes. Second assessment was cancelled. Was soo stressed yesterday I just went down the footpath opposite the house and walked down to the beach, put my see-through umbrella up and sat there reading (Rather looking at the pictures!) of my new model railway magazine!) (The umbrella shelters me from the wind). The waves were gently crashing on the expanse of lonely beach. I was all alone for about an hour until a man and his wife walked past and walked down to the eastern extreme of the beach about a mile away. Think they had walked from the western extreme of the beach a few miles from the other way. Rarely see people down there.
The first time Mum and I went there before we boght the house (Cottage), we went down the footpath as they told us it went toa beach, and we went down and we were the only two human beings down there, and two seals popped their heads out of the water and looked at us. Was like they were saying "Hey. Two humans!" and we were looking at them saying " Hey. Two seals! "

Well, I'm like that with phone calls too.

I drove to the mechanics (which is just around the corner from where I live) to make an appointment to have my car serviced this week. After I explained what I wanted, they asked why I didn't just call them. I told them that it was easier for me this way. They looked at me funny.

I do have a smart phone but I wouldn't have one if my housemate didn't help me set it up. It's been good to have it many times, especially because of the camera function.

I'm hoping the online aspect of your testing gets resolved.

Through covid I could not see a doctor because it was phone appointments only. Is the "If you are dead, press one, if you are alive, press 2, if you don't know, hang up" sort of messages that are lengthy and first start in Welsh... Takes a minute and a half of bilingual messages before one even gets to speak to the receptionist and I suddenly realize I don't know what to say as by then it has gone from my mind and I am in a mindblank stressed daze, and I hang up when a real human answers!

cheering you on! The assessment process was so interesting. I kept trying to figure out in the back of my mind what each set of tests was trying to find out. The summary was the most interesting of all, showed completely my best strengths and weaknesses, something that I could use to adjust the way I did things every day for maximum comfort and to eliminate distress (by not doing things I simply can not do because of my neurology instead of trying to force myself to perform for the satisfaction or gratification of others and continually failing). Keep us posted!

Thanks. I am concerned incase knowing how the questions work as a mechanism may alter the results as I am one who can see through things. I am trying to stand back and not do that so Ican get an honest result. But at the same time the process is fascinating because the root of it is finding wanys to find out how one thinks...

I'm struggling with this as well. My assessment starts Tuesday (finished my intake appointment) and I was given a set of questions that seemed completely geared to children. So I kind of sailed through them but now I'm worried that I skewed the results somehow. Totally irrational but I oscillate between really wanting to be 100% accurate vs. the desire to get confirmation that what I know is true, is true!

Another part of the questions which are a bit annoying is one has a choice of four options. Strongly agree, slightly agree, slightly dissagree, strongly dissagree.

I wanted a "Dont agree or dissagree" option.

Well, I strongly agree that I can brush my teeth and tie my shoes! So maybe I'm not autistic at all?

Which test is it?

Will you have psychometry too?

I do not know what is coming next. Before the assessment started they sent me forms to fill which was the same as those things to give an idea of if one needs assessing or not? People have put links on this site to them. This was a paper form version.
Then Mum and I went for the first part which was questions about family history and things like that.

That is as far as I have got. Was meant to do an online appointment but they had to cancel so waiting for them to re-arrange. Somewhat concerned as is not easy to get my emails... And am out of my depth with these online face to face things! So don't know what happens next, except that there will be a few online interviews or things to do online? I don't know. (All I know is there are a few more times online to assess me which could be up to six online things or more or less than six but it varies from.person to person...) (Trying to remember).

Are you sure they didn't tell you what would be involved, ahead of time?

My place gave me all the names of the tests ahead of time so I could determine if I wanted to choose that assessment doctor, and also so they could justify the cost. They had a breakdown of her fees by hour and showed how much time each of the tests would take.

I know all places seem to be different. I'm just surprised you don't have a list. The name of each test should be there on the login that they give you for each test company.

Mine was face-to-face and it took about 12 hours. How long is yours expected to take?

Anyway I'm glad they've finally arranged to start with you.


Good luck!



PS - Do any of these sound familiar?

No lists like that. This is NHS assessment.

I think they may do extra tests for some people if they individually need it? I am thinking if they have people they are not sure if they are on the spectrum or not, they may have more tests? I am guessing. They are nice people.

somewhere it said that I may see more than one person... But the rest of it is online which I am a bit concerned about because

1. I am out of my depth online.

and

2. I find those online face to face things difficult to talk as I am looking at someones face.

Last edited by Mountain Goat on 12 Nov 2023, 2:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's too bad that you don't know what to expect. That would make me anxious, but overall there's really nothing for you to prepare or worry about so long as you get an internet connection and reply to the tasks authentically (without worrying what the right or wrong answer is supposed to be.)

If it's anything like mine there will be very few questions for you to answer like yes / no, because people could lie about that to try and trick the system. Mine was mostly puzzles and word games and things where I had no idea what they were looking for.

Just relax and try not to overthink it.

Good luck again!