anyone with AS feel there is no real connection w/ parents?

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Keep this in mind when looking back at your parents, AS is genetic and at least one of your parents had this also. My first memories are crying in my crib and seeing my mom's mad face staring back at me. I was a colicy baby.

Nothing is trivial and everything matters, except anti-matter.

mojo123

That has not been proven. And there is quite a wide chasm of difference between something having a genetic correlation and something that can only be passed on if one parent has it. By every indication my childhood epilepsy is genetic. However neither of my parents had epilepsy.

No connection at all.

My parents are as cool, understanding, and supportive as parents can be, but that didn't stop me from having meltdowns when they would come around...only a few years ago. Whatever symptoms I have do run in the family seemingly on both sides. My mom seems to have the most Aspie-like charactersitics, but traits seem to exist on my dad's side too.

I have never been that close to my family, I have always sorta been the black sheep..but it 's no big deal really.

I love my parents, but I have a really hard time connecting with anyone else in my family.

Very close and yet at times it feels alien, I think they still treat me as a child. Oh I don't know its a bit complex I feel to attached and yet detached, grrrrr

I think my mother raised me because it was the socially acceptable course of action. She has told me many times that she wishes I had not been born. I am now many miles away from her, and do not miss her one iota due to her obvious dislike of her own child. My father, on the other hand, is someone I truly care about and miss. I found many maternal figures and rolemodels to emulate at fifteen, and they somewhat filled the "hole" my mother had created.

True, but it is still more likely that an AS child will have an AS parent than an NT child will. It may only be, say, an 8% likelihood, but that's still a disproportionate number. Also, as AS has only been widely recognized in the last 15 to 20 years, most parents with AS have never been diagnosed.

In regard to the OP, I can relate. I'm the only one of my siblings not living near my parents, and don't share as much information with them as other people seem to with their parents. I love them very much and will miss them some day when they're gone, but they're not as central to my life as most people's parents seem to be. This probably has more to do with me than them, as my other siblings are closer to them. Maybe if I lived closer to them I'd answer differently.

I think all parents do this. It's frustrating at times. I often get the impression that my dad thinks I'm a goofy, clueless kid who just pretends to know anything. My mom has always been very encouraging and proud of me.

As "they" say, a prophet is never accepted in his home town.

On the flip side, it's been interesting how my conception of them has changed as I've become an adult. I've come to appreciate that they're also normal, fallible people aside from being my parents. I've also come to see how my dad and I are really quite alike. They're the only parents I've got, and I wouldn't trade them for any others.

My 'connection' with my parents was fairly thin at the best of times and it finally died just after my 21st birthday. When they died I was just glad that they were gone.

Ed Almos

One of the things my parents would do would be to force me to eat any foul thing they put in front of me.
They had this thing for sheeps hearts, there would be this disgusting grey object with tubes sticking out that felt and tasted retchingly awfull, they would make me sit there all night on my own in the kitchen, not allowed to leave untill I had consumed the now cold and congealed organ of offel.

Now they are old and mummy wonders why I never ever go around for dinner.

Stepfather hated me so when I was younger, I was sent to my room before he came home from work in the late afternoon, and allowed out the following morning, wouldnt have been so bad if I had books or toys to play with, all I could do was sing TV themes to my self to while away the hours.

I mean, did they think they could treat me like this and I wouldnt remember it when I grew up and would turn out to be a dutifull son who visits every sunday afternoon!

Yeah, whos sorry now!

If its 8% that means there is a 92% chance that neither of your parents has asperger's. Whats disproportionate in that situation is too automatically assume that one of them does, based on the known odds.

My mom is very intelligent and well-read, but she won't let me have any debates with her.

I feel sad when I read these posts. My parents and I are very close, especially my mom and I. She instilled in me a love of animals and also a love of books. I feel guilty even being here sometimes because I realize how good my life is. My parents loved me above and beyond the call. If I had been in a family that valued show above character, I never would have made it.

I think I'm more dependent on my parents than my brothers are, but I still can live relatively independently. I still rely on them when I'm feeling lonely, need advice on some things, or need a ride. They understand my strengths as well as most of my weaknesses.

My biological father divorced when I was around 4-5, and I see very little of him. I kind of suspect that he has some traits of HFA/AS, but not as severe as it is for me (ie. he has a girlfriend, can recognize faces, etc.). On the other hand, all of my brothers are NT's, and one of my younger brothers shares some small traits with me in some cases even though he's extremely outgoing

Oh HELL yeah!

Others in this thread said they thought their parents raised them strictly out of social obligation. That’s a very good way to put it and I can relate to it very well.

It was hard not to feel unwanted in my household by both parents. The old man had no patience at all in teaching me anything. If I didn't get it right off he'd throw his hands up in disgust and walk off. Either that or bear down on me so hard that I'd eventually give up. Then, of course, I was the quitter.
He liked other kids a lot better and had no trouble making that obvious. He'd compare me unfavorably right next to them. Is that a good way to get an inferiority complex or what???? If I'd go to my mother with anything including that she'd just say I was "feeling goddamned sorry for myself" and how "totally disgusted" she was with me.
They never treated my brother like that. I mean, he got his share of BS from them including a memorable beating when he was in the 1st grade but was never led to believe he was a total disappointment. He was always the one who would succeed.
When I was 10-13 sometimes I'd stand in front of a mirror and slap myself hard until I cried since that's all I deserved.
We did do family things like a few vacations and camping but it came at a cost that made it not worth whatever good it brought.
I was so low on self confidence and self esteem that I secretly dreaded graduating from high school because I had no idea what to do next or what I could do next. Like it was the end of the road for me.
When I joined the air force and got stationed a long, long way from them it was a very liberating feeling for me.
I found at least some sense of self worth.
They’re divorced now and I live in a different county from both of them.
I’ve always gone though the motions of getting along with them, visiting them, calling, and e-mail. I talk to other people of a normal upbringing just to seem normal but it's not that way and I’m getting tired of the charade. I’ve pretty much forbidden them from living in my county.
We visit but not very often and I could care less.
It’s deeper than that but for the sake of brevity I won’t go too far.
Enough "feeling GD sorry for myself", so the saying goes..........