Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Did you know that Aspies don't get married?

Page 2 of 7 [ 108 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 7  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

ShadesOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jun 2004
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,983
Location: California

24 Sep 2007, 8:56 pm

michel wrote:
I wanna get married.


I don't believe in marriage, mostly, but I do want a serious meaningful life long relationship.



Belle77
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078

24 Sep 2007, 8:56 pm

likedcalico wrote:
And you don't need to meet B) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level because you can be meeting

(A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction and (D) lack of social or emotional reciprocity from the first part of the criteria.


The thing is that I do actually meet the DSM criteria, but she didn't even give me a chance to explain that. And I didn't think to bring up the fact that I have absolutely no friends now, and that I rarely had more than 1 or 2 friends at any given time while I was growing up.



likedcalico

24 Sep 2007, 9:00 pm

Question, can you meet (B) later in your lifetime?


I didn't start meeting it till I was 10 because I started to have troubles with my friends and with kids my age. They went ahead of me in social skills and I got left behind. They wanted to do chit chat and sports and I wanted to play still like doing playground games and playing on the playground equipment. But I've always had troubles with my peers because I had troubles with my friends at their house because they didn't do what I wanted to do but when they were at my house playing, I be fine because we be playing and we were doing what I wanted to do. I have even been banned from peoples houses when I was a little kid because I couldn't follow their rules.



ADoyle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Dec 2005
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 913
Location: Southern California, USA

24 Sep 2007, 9:01 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
I've had to get jerked around by the so-called mental health profession for a long time. What with mis-diagnoses, toxic drugs, I have totally lost faith in the ones who give medicines. You say that she was focused on anxiety and depression. Well, you can medicate those. It might sound odd, but check into any school based psychological services in your area. They may be more familiar with AS. That's how I found this lady. I called an information and referral hot-line, and asked about services for AS. They told me it was for children, but to ask anyway. Good luck!


That's also been my experience before finally finding a psychologist through the Department of Rehabilitation who specialized in specturm disorders. Before then, I dealt with a psychiatrist who only sees his paitents long enough to write a prescription. I knew someone else whose son was seeing him, and he put HER on medication even though she wasn't the paitent.

I would definitely recommend looking into the Department of Rehabilitation as they have psychologists who can't write prescriptions that work for them to provide a diagnosis if there isn't one.


_________________
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei


Belle77
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078

24 Sep 2007, 9:06 pm

unnamed wrote:
Edward R. Ritvo, MD out at UCLA School of Medicine is working very hard to prove to the medical community that people on the autistic spectrum DO get married and have children. He recently posted a thread on WP asking for aspie volunteers to help him and his team come up with a more accurate tool to diagnose adults on the spectrum, but he got such a negative response from some people here that he gave up. I and several of my relatives are participating, and it's something I'm really proud to be doing. I understand that a lot of people here may have had bad experiences with shrinks, but it's ironic and unfortunate that he was treated so badly on WP, where so many threads are started by people saying that no one in the mental health profession believes they have AS. :?


I think I saw that thread and was interested in it...but didn't he say that he wanted to talk to people who are professionally diagnosed? I'm only self-diagnosed at this point so I figured I wouldn't qualify. Even if I did qualify, I didn't like the prospect of having to talk to him on the phone though, because I have severe phone anxiety.



Belle77
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078

24 Sep 2007, 9:09 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
It might sound odd, but check into any school based psychological services in your area. They may be more familiar with AS. That's how I found this lady. I called an information and referral hot-line, and asked about services for AS. They told me it was for children, but to ask anyway. Good luck!


That's something else to look into, thanks for the suggestion. :D



siuan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,270

24 Sep 2007, 9:10 pm

We don't get married eh? I'm an aspie married to an aspie. And there's at least a few more married aspies here. Tell that resident to go back to school.

Sorry to hear that this is how your quest for a diagnosis is starting out. I hope things improve.


_________________
They tell me I think too much. I tell them they don't think enough.


Belle77
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078

24 Sep 2007, 9:16 pm

ShadesOfMe wrote:
LOL. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Wer all pretty much seek out relationships. LIES.


Exactly...we seek them out, we're just often not good at them.



Belle77
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078

24 Sep 2007, 9:18 pm

MysteryFan3 wrote:
You could also remind her that the DMS-IV-TR description is based on work done with children, not adults. Emotional development is delayed, so we learn empathy later. That's why coping skills cause problems in the diagnosis for adults.


That's an excellent point, thanks!



richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

24 Sep 2007, 9:24 pm

ShadesOfMe wrote:
We all pretty much seek out relationships.
i only seek them out online and even the they dont work out :lol:


_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light


sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

24 Sep 2007, 9:26 pm

Fuzzy wrote:
Let the aspie traits work for you. I have an ex-employer that could not seeem to get around to paying me. So i started phoning once per day, speaking nicely or leaving a simple message. finally she phones back and leaves a message "I'm taking care of you, i promise, so you don't have to go through the bother of phoning each day! ha ha. In other words, "stop calling and pestering me, i am doing it!"

Don't give up!


well, she hasn't done it yet, keep calling!



Wrackspurt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 733

24 Sep 2007, 9:38 pm

You have to love cheap gov issue shrinks. My first was only a social worker & thought she was gods gift. She didn't even believe there was such a thing as an 'oubliette'. I should have left at that argument. She actually left the room to confirm with someone else in the office... left again to confirm spelling! She came back looking upset she lost & never apologized.

I know where all of you are coming from on the high IQ too. When I turned 18 she called my mother up & told her to kick me out of the house, that I was faking all of my issues - I was too intelligent after all. My mother told me she replied "My daughter & I do not have that type of relationship" & she hung up on her! I love my mum!! :lol:



Belle77
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078

24 Sep 2007, 9:58 pm

siuan wrote:
Tell that resident to go back to school.


That's exactly what I want to say to her!



Belle77
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078

24 Sep 2007, 10:01 pm

richardbenson wrote:
i only seek them out online and even the they dont work out


I have that problem too. I'm terrible at making friends. :(



Belle77
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078

24 Sep 2007, 10:09 pm

Wrackspurt wrote:
You have to love cheap gov issue shrinks. My first was only a social worker & thought she was gods gift. She didn't even believe there was such a thing as an 'oubliette'. I should have left at that argument. She actually left the room to confirm with someone else in the office... left again to confirm spelling! She came back looking upset she lost & never apologized.

I know where all of you are coming from on the high IQ too. When I turned 18 she called my mother up & told her to kick me out of the house, that I was faking all of my issues - I was too intelligent after all. My mother told me she replied "My daughter & I do not have that type of relationship" & she hung up on her! I love my mum!! :lol:


Wow, what a nutjob! Your mom sounds cool. :)



serenity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,377
Location: Invisibly here

24 Sep 2007, 10:14 pm

Just because someone can have one relationship doesn't make it "at peer level". I am married, but I can't seem to make any other relationship work. Most adults have a wide social network. Beyond internet friends I can't seem to sustain a friendship. I think I just lucked out with my husband. Maybe, you ought to lend that lady Dr. Attwood's book, she might learn something! :lol: