"What is it like to have Aspergers?"

Post Reply New Topic

Shopaholic - DITTO. I've had the same versions and corresponding awkwardness.

Vorzac - You (sort of) read my mind. I was going to post, Tell them it's like cherry ice cream with whipped cream (not sure if this is even a favorite), sunshine (ok, I don't really like sunshine), an exciting action movie (not really a fan either), winning the lottery (don't care), etc.......anyway, MAKE THEM JEALOUS! A NT emotion.

But, I think the above posts answered sufficiently. If you had someone nice, who cares, ask this question, I think an interesting question would be, "What is like to be a neurotypical?" I really am sometimes curious and cannot know what they're thinking.

Aspergers is one hell of a ride...

Being an Aspie is like being a Japanese man in Jamaica. However, he might not be baad but he can hit on there ass with Japanese Karate if they come bout they is bad.

[quote="shopaholic"]
It is now lunchtime and I have stood in the queue & got my food. I have it piled on my plate & a glass of orange juice in my hand & feel really clumsy & awkward. I want to put the glass down but there isn't anywhere. I look around and it seems like every single person but me is talking to someone, usually in groups of about 3 or 4.

I just want to go somewhere private to sit down & eat, but that would look odd. So I desperately look for someone I know. I see two of them talking together so I go over, but they either don't see me or ignore me, so I just stand there looking over their shoulders. Eventually one of them moves off so I start talking to the other person. They talk to me at first but all the while their eyes are scanning the room.

OK - so then NT's, how would this story play different for you? How would you be able to start/join in conversations, get & keep people's attention, and do the whole "networking" thing (which is clearly what this situation is, but I am just useless at it!)
quote]

I agree. The other study (one you cited) surveyed 1500 kids. It is going to be difficult to get that many respondants who haven't bullied. I am guessing the majority of kids who haven't cyber bullied don't own computers...haha.

I can check with some faculty to see who does their power analysis. Still, to compete with the published work, the larger the sample the better!!

It feels like that scene in Clockwork Orange when the main character is strapped down to a chair, with his eyes being held open and having to watch all the painful films*.



*For me anyways

lol i love this can i have it for my signature?


I think in any case, explaining an NT how is it to have aspergers, would requiere a book of at least 200 pages.

I would say to an NT: First, distance yourself from your emotions as much as you can. It's not like you don't have emotions, it's more like most of them are distant from you, and you barely recognize them. Then, distance yourself emotionally from your relationships as well. Try to BE your thought, rather than your emotions. Just think, don't mind the feelings. Then walk into a room full of people, and try your best to feel out of place and awkward and frightened. As you walk into the room remember (mostly uncounsusly if this were possible) your thousands of bad experiences socially, and feel very anxious, have a pervading feeling that you will fail misserably as you always have done (this feeling is one of the few you do recognize and feel). Then rationalize intensely as a defense mechanism against the anxiety, to try to overcome the feeling. Then, as you walk to people, talk to them, and at the same time be very self-counscious about everything of you, your posture, your face etc. Then, while they talk at you, start thinking intensely on how they perceive you (mostly negatively), so much that you don't even pay attention to what they are saying. Start to look anxious, and move your body in a way that it transmits that you don't really want to be there, and that you don't care about them, you just want to 'pass through' the experience. Then start experiencing how people don't really care about what you have to say, and start to ignore you. etc. etc. etc.

i think that transmits a bit of the aspie world. that plus having the knowledge that there is no easy way to 'repair' or overcome this, so you can feel happily depressed. because of course an NT would just say: "oh i would just work on my social skills.." and blah blah.. because in the end it's impossible to know how it is really for someone who hasnt been there.

The point is that there were no tables or seats - everyone was eating while standing, so I needed 3 hands, one to hold my glass, one to hold my plate & the other to eat with.

The NT's didn't seem to find this an issue at all, but I just felt totally clumsy and terrified I would spill stuff down me like I usually end up doing.

I agree that these are very small things in the NT world - they seem to "just know" what to do in situations like this, don't they?

never be late, always be on time and your one of the good guys

T

Not to downplay your discomfort but to help yu understand. I am NT and I am in my 50s. It took me 20 years of professional life to develop a halfway comfort with a situation like this — networking situations like this are -- believe me really -- are uncomfortable for everyone, Thats why if there was beer or wine you can bet people were drinking it.

The key for me to being able to get through these things was knowing that I was not alone in my discomfort -- most people there are uncomfortable to a certain degree. One friend of mine compared it with being at the bar scene in the original Star Wars. Once you accept that everybody is uncomfortable then you try and understand what it is that you can do that will be most comfortable for you (short of bolting out) and also look to make others feel comfortable too. That means being pleasant and being very casual in your exchanges

It might sound trite, but for me, I decided to be open for receiving look a "gift" at every event. that might be one exchange that had some completion -- exchanging cards for instance. sounds strange, but now I am open to receiving three gifts and it usually works.

Nobody ever asked, but I like this analogy.

what's it like being NT?

I would say it's a bit like being excessively short or tall. The world makes sense, and it's navigable, but at the same time it was certainly not made with you mind. It's also pretty lonely.

The only way I know how to describe it is that I feel like there is a wall between myself and the rest of the world. It's like I have my own little island - it's perfect for me - and I'm pissed that I can't secede from the rest of the planet.

lol take it sleepless168

I agree.

I dunno, i always use foreign country references. Imagne waking up in china, not knowing chinesse asking for the pot.

or something stupid like that, makes no sense to me either, but its better than i dont know, cause i hate the "how can you not know?" bit

I think that if you get asked this question a lot, it would be good to sit down somewhere at a time when you're not under stress and think of an answer you can give. That way you always know what to say when people ask you.

People here are very articulate about the way they feel, and what things upset them or make them angry or are difficult, and their stims, and their social difficulties, and their obsessions, and things they do now or did when they were little that other people find odd, and things they don't understand about the NT world ... so all you need to do is think about those things and then edit it down so you're not talking for 10 minutes!

Think of it this way: people on this site are constantly complaining about not being understood by NTs and saying NTs should be more understanding. And that's what the people who ask you that are trying to do. But they can't understand if they don't know anything about it.