Why do some people dislike eye-contact?

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Truthfully?

Most eyes are ugly.

You don't usually look at a mutilated dead animal, because it's a gross sight. I feel the same about eyes and there are only few eyes that I like and can look into. When I look into ugly eyes, even if that eyes' owner is trying to be a nice person, I feel so disgusted that I can't think nor talk straight anymore. The feel is overwhelming and all-consuming, the final result being that my thought process will stop.

It is always a conscious effort to look into people's eyes, because I can't remember naturally. I never knew eye contact was true for many and seen as very important until I started researching autism a year and half ago.

(And yes, I'm usually as tactful as to not say that I find someone's eyes ugly, gee.)


I heard that some autistic kids said that they don't look into people's eyes because to them it appears as if the other person is then able to read all their thoughts and feelings.

It feels like they can see too much of me. Although some people I'm fine with it depends of the personality of the onlooker. Eye contact issues diminish when I drink alcohol, suppose I relax.

It is just stressful. With some people, it doesn't bother me. I wish I could wear sunglasses all day, but I work in an office.

How about training yourself to make eye contact by refusing to make even a bit of eye contact at all so that you then physically need to make eye contact eventually. I was smacked once in third grade for not looking a nun in the eye so I didn't know that avoiding eye contact was considered shady until that time. Then a week later, I was beaten and then beaten again because I was staring at my mother during the lecture/beating. But I always made eye contact after offending the nun even though I still got it at home for having "ugly eyes." But since this was from a woman who would come into my room looking for an excuse to beat me, I didn't bother to adjust with any false hope that the woman could be appeased. Some people are just bloodthirsty. Doesn't matter if I am an aspie or not. If he didn't have a shunt in his head, my fragile x brother definitely would not have been considered too fragile for my mother's "correction" tactics.

I do make eye contact but sumtyms i look down but overall my eye contact is quite good.

From what I've seen/read/spoken to other As about I reckon gaze aversion is pretty much the most common As trait..... the only person I currently associate with whose gaze I can hold is the other DX'd Aspie at work.... it's a bit wierd but I guess we both know the other one isn't sucking our soul out through our eyes... we're both fairly mindblind... which I guess is the defining characteristic of Aspies..... I'm gonna start a new thread on which bits of the package we've got cos this has sort of got me interested, but I think it needds to be more precis than this....

Oh, and to the person that likes trolling, you're a bottom-feeding idiot

chrisc

I try so hard to make eye contact when I am "supposed" to that I come across as staring. It is very hard for me, especially with those who have a particularly intense gaze. I feel nauseous and weak when i do. I feel very frightened so the theory that it is connected to the flight or fight response makes sense. I either feel threatened by them or like I need to get away.

Annabel Lee

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

Well, I can always attempt to keep eye contact, but I've never been very successful.

The reason I avoid it, is that I feel like I'm staring and I don't want to come off like that.

Eye contact for me used to feel like a sharp electric jolt in my eyes, through my brain and down my spine. It took me 2 years to learn to make consistent eye contact without staring a hole in the other person. Now it's just a tiny jolt into the brain. Yay.

I don't know if I'd say eye contact hurts for me, I just don't naturally do it. I can force myself to make eye contact especially around familier people, it gets a lot harder around strangers though. I physically try but can't seem to manage to bring my eyes up when paying for groceries etc, but there are rare days where I am ok with it, or the odd person is somehow easier to make eye contact with.

Its a been a problem for me my whole life but I've never really stopped to think about why. I guess because maybe I'm afraid that they'll see something in my eyes that lets them know I'm different. Usually like look at a person's shoulder or cheek area. My therapist tries to get me to make eye contact allot during our sessions but lately that's resulted in me freaking out.

It's not a problem, i just dont do it.
I don't need a reason a why not.

I can make eye contact, but in my personal experience I've felt very unconfortable with it, just simply because I sometimes feel like I'm giving the wrong message, or that I feel like that I have to somehow 'dominate" the other person.