What if I'm just a LOSER and not an aspie?

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Kitsy
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25 Sep 2007, 10:56 pm

LadyMacbeth wrote:

Best way to find out? Try NOT acting like a loser, and if you f**k that up, you probably are an aspie. :lol:

So did you try that too?

quirky
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25 Sep 2007, 11:05 pm

I wonder that too. I sound a lot like you, except once I got to high school things got better. I had friends, but not a thriving social life. It's college that I'm finding difficult. I really wonder if I have an issue. Because of a stimming behavior I developed around age 5 that I still have though, I know I at least have the tendencies. I don't know whether it would be helpful to pursue a diagnosis or not.

Mw99
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25 Sep 2007, 11:05 pm

wsmac wrote:

The syndrome you mention above also is responsible for things like mom's who smother their little infants in bed or add things to poison their kids so people will feel sorry for the mom 'losing' her child(ren).
My wife experienced dealing with a mom like this once... scary...

That's actually called Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. The idea is the same: to get empathy and attention.

Quote:

Who do you think is going to give you sympathy for saying you think you have AS?
Are these people who know what AS is?
I have a hard enough time getting folks to understand what ADD/HD is!
What benefit are you imagining comes to you if people give you sympathy for this?

Telling people (friends, family) that I have AS would be pointless, but telling them that I am the way I am because I suffer from some rare mental condition I feel would redeem me in some way.

2ukenkerl
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25 Sep 2007, 11:15 pm

wsmac wrote:

Mw99 wrote:

2ukenkerl wrote:

Mw99 wrote:

For all I know, I don't suffer from Asperger's syndrome; I suffer from Muchausen syndrome

Munchausen syndrome is trying to get attention for yourself through something like this. ARE YOU? I, for example, only told a couple people. Frankly, I DON'T want the attention.

Anyway, You're the only one that can say REALLY. A psychiatrist would be good to verify you fit, but it is best if you verify it isn't an act.

Steve

"Munchausen Syndrome" is a psychiatric disorder in which those affected feign illnesses they don't have in an effort to get empathy and attention. That's different from hypochondria, becauce hypochondriacs actually believe they have illnesses they don't really have. People who suffer from Munchausen Syndrome are fully aware that they don't suffer from the illnesses they claim to suffer from. In my case, I have been telling to myself that I suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, but at the same time I wonder whether I am just putting this label on me in an effort to get sympathy from those who would have otherwise called me a loser and worse things.

WRONG... Munchausen's BY PROXY is when someone does another harm, or similar, to get attention. Munchausen's is when they do THEMSELVES harm, or something similar, to get attention. They sound similar and work in a similar way, but ARE two DISTINCT disorders.

http://sids-network.org/experts/msp.htm

BTW MBP is not necessarily done by parents. It could even be a stranger. The ONLY requirement is that there is some possibility of getting attention for it. SO, if a person sets fire to a strangers house, and goes in to save them THAT could be munchausens by proxy.

wsmac wrote:

My wife experienced dealing with a mom like this once... scary...

Who do you think is going to give you sympathy for saying you think you have AS?
Are these people who know what AS is?
I have a hard enough time getting folks to understand what ADD/HD is! :roll:

What benefit are you imagining comes to you if people give you sympathy for this?

I'm being serious in my asking these questions. I just wonder if you've thought about it all that much?
You seem to fixate quite easily on being a fake, phony, loser.
Dig a little deeper why don't you... it's good for the soul!

BTW the fact that there is harping on munchausens makes me think it is overblown, and neither AS or munchausens.

AS is a bad "illness" for munchausens anyway. Those that know or care would want to not react or call attention to you. The reaction should be fairly sedate. Also, too much attention might blow your cover. A lot of people see my obsessions, tangential speech, and memory eventually. If they knew I had AS and didn't see that, they would probably wonder.

OMGpenguin
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25 Sep 2007, 11:20 pm

This thread wins the "Most Off-Topic Award."

wsmac
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25 Sep 2007, 11:20 pm

Mw99 wrote:

wsmac wrote:

That's actually called Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. The idea is the same: to get empathy and attention.

Thanks for correcting that, I do know that but I totally misread it and posted wrong.

Mw99 wrote:

wsmac wrote:

Telling people (friends, family) that I have AS would be pointless, but telling them that I am the way I am because I suffer from some rare mental condition I feel would redeem me in some way.

I see now. Thanks.

So, are any of the comments by the other posters here helping you out any?

My guess is that you'll never be happy no matter what other people think, if you are not 'right' about this stuff yourself.

How about this...
List the things you feel you can identify with in relation to:
Asperger's Syndrome
ADD/HD
Autism
OCD
Depression
and any others you care to post about

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affengeil
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25 Sep 2007, 11:35 pm

Funny, I was going to start a similar thread, until I saw this one.

But MY question isn't so much about being a "loser," as much as perhaps not having had more ideal parenting? I know there is a "spectrum" in "autism spectrum," and that Rainman's parents were probably relatively good parents, yet that didn't stop him from being autistic, but...

I wonder whether I'd be more "normal" had my parents been less neurotic/less absent/more stable/better socially-adjusted. Normal enough to pass for normal?
?

(Please forgive me if this question is tedious and/or repetitive on these boards; I just found out about AS this summer.)

BazzaMcKenzie
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26 Sep 2007, 6:59 pm

affengeil wrote:

The Dx criteria do not match the cause of AS. Assessment is a "black box" analysis. They look at inputs and outputs and make conculsions without knowing how anything is processed.

If you have an "autistic brain" but your environment is such that you do not have significant social impairment, you will not get a Dx even though you are on the spectrum. That's how the Psych criteria is written. Its conceivable that if your environment is such that you get screwed up, even though you do not have an autistic brain, its conceivable you would still get a positive Dx.

IMHO unless you need one in order to access government benefits, what do labels count for anyway? What is the difference between mild AS and PDD-NS?

This question is a bit repetitive. Maybe someone should sticky one of these topics.

Mw99
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26 Sep 2007, 7:03 pm

I don't know about that, but I think that if my problem had been discovered and treated when I was a child, not now that I am in mid 20's, I would have been a different person today.

9CatMom
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26 Sep 2007, 7:20 pm

I don't consider myself a "loser." I am not fantastically successful in any traditional way. I am not in a powerful position careerwise and, at almost 43, I am still single. I am not one of those "woman that have it all and do it all," nor am I skilled at "mulititasking." These seem to be the superficial ways success is measured these days. I do have a job I love however which I have held for over five years. I am a good cat mom. If this is the definition of a "failure," I guess I am.

I am a "failure" in the sense that I get nervous in circumstances crucial to advancement, something I would like to get over.

LadyMacbeth
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26 Sep 2007, 9:57 pm

Kitsy wrote:

LadyMacbeth wrote:

Best way to find out? Try NOT acting like a loser, and if you f**k that up, you probably are an aspie. :lol:

So did you try that too?

Yep! Didn't work! :mrgreen:

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MysteryFan3
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26 Sep 2007, 10:36 pm

Actually, if you're a loser, you're making mistakes in daily tasks that you can correct and leave behind. AS means a lifetime of coping with people who don't understand where you're coming from, and coping with not knowing where they're coming from. If you were a loser without AS you would have a lot less work ahead of you.

And a lot less fun.

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Inventor
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27 Sep 2007, 12:47 am

Does it matter?

All together, it is Suffers from contact with humans Syndrome.

It makes some angry, some withdrawn, and some climb trees and think they are squirels.

You can go to a witch doctor, who for $100 a shot will shake a rattle over you, but never effect a cure, for he is just another abuser. But he needs the money, it is not like he has real skills to fall back on.

Humans tend to attack when they think they can get away with it. It does not matter how you are different, produce a race of clones, give them red hats, and one an off red hat, and they will all attack that one.

The big dumb guy who could crush them with one hand does not get picked on like the smart and civilized one. Both are threats to them, one they avoid, the other think they can attack. Once it starts everyone will avoid the target, more fear.

Many people have reported curing the world by bulking up forty pounds and pumping some iron. Strange how it can change the behavior of strangers.

All of it comes from the outside.

affengeil
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27 Sep 2007, 1:36 am

Inventor wrote:

It does not matter how you are different, produce a race of clones, give them red hats, and one an off red hat, and they will all attack that one.

...but you're not bitter, or anything. :wink:

ChatBrat
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27 Sep 2007, 2:15 am

Mw99 wrote:

I was always a good student and was well-behaved. I was always shy and inarticulate. I was smart but not gifted or a genius. I never heard of ADHD, Asperger's syndrome, depression, OCD or social anxiety until I was in college.

The truth is that I've become increasingly more pathetic since high school, where I was teased and made fun of by other kids. As a result of all the emotional abuse I went through in high school, my self-esteem plummeted; I became extremely aloof but also insecure. I found solace in knowing that at least I was more intelligent than most of my peers, and as time went on, I might have even subconsciously tried to adopt an "eccentric genius" image that would serve me as some type of defense mechanism that I could somehow use against all the adversity that I faced.

I became more and more "Aspergian" as time went on.

The fact of the matter is that I identify with a lot of the symptoms exhibited by people who suffer from Asperger's syndrome, and I know that some of you have identified with almost all the problems I have talked about on this message board, at least up until now, but what if I don't have Asperger's Syndrome after all?

What if my problem is something else? What if I am just a loser with extremely poor social and communicational skills? In my view, that's understandable, given my remote nature through high school and college. At a conscious level, I never felt that social skills and good communication were worth the effort, or maybe I just had a weak ego and for that reason never had the courage to go through the painful process of improving areas of my life I sucked at and still suck at. Depression? When you go through high school and college the way I did, it's not surprising that you'd end up depressed. OCD? ADD? I might as well suffer from those problems, but that's not enough evidence to conclude that I suffer from Asperger's syndrome.

I'm not trying to sound heretic or delusional, but I just can't stop thinking that maybe I put this "aspie" label on me because my ego doesn't want me to acknowledge that I am just a loser who is now paying the price for all the bad choices he has made.

Who can identify?

I don't know if you've seen any of my posts before, but just in case you haven't, I'm right there with ya. It's so frustrating to KNOW there is something wrong with you but to not know WHY. You do not sound like someone looking for attention AT ALL. You sound like you're hurting inside and you want validation. Hang in there honey. You are not alone. There are a lot of adults posting on WP that suspect or "just know" that they have AS.

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