Autistics Never Living the American Dream????

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9CatMom
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28 Sep 2007, 8:51 pm

I do believe people can "have it all," just not all at the same time. There are tradeoffs. A woman may be at the top of her game at work, but farm her children out to daycare. To be a success, I believe one has to chose one area and accomplish it to the best of his or her ability. If anyone tries to do everything at once, it is a recipe for a meltdown. These days, "multitasking" has become all the rage. To me, this means being scattered and unable to focus on any one thing for very long. For someone like me, that is tough. I like to do one thing well, then go on to the next.



squeezle
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28 Sep 2007, 8:57 pm

why do some people think that everyone has to want the same thing? besides, the 'american dream' isn't a reality for millions of americans that don't had ASD of any sort - all sorts of things get in the way of this 'american dream', the most notable of which are the poverty, racism, sexism and classism that exist in our country but no one wants to talk about. the 'american dream' is a myth that is simply perpetuated by those in power.



9CatMom
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28 Sep 2007, 9:08 pm

I think the American Dream is doing what you want to do, whether it is staying home taking care of your children, working at a job you love or working at home. Nobody should criticize anyone because they don't choose the popular path.



hartzofspace
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28 Sep 2007, 9:09 pm

9CatMom wrote:
I do believe people can "have it all," just not all at the same time. There are tradeoffs. A woman may be at the top of her game at work, but farm her children out to daycare. To be a success, I believe one has to chose one area and accomplish it to the best of his or her ability. If anyone tries to do everything at once, it is a recipe for a meltdown. These days, "multitasking" has become all the rage. To me, this means being scattered and unable to focus on any one thing for very long. For someone like me, that is tough. I like to do one thing well, then go on to the next.


I agree, 9CatMom! I placed my daughter in daycare while I went back to school, and I hated it. I missed a lot of things that she was doing for the first time, and I hated to hear her cry when I left her each morning. The only good thing was that she got socialized pretty well, and used to being around a lot of kids and noise. But I didn't like doing it. Being a single parent, I didn't have much choice, though.


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9CatMom
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28 Sep 2007, 9:19 pm

Hartzofspace,

Hugs to you.



serenity
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28 Sep 2007, 9:20 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
9CatMom wrote:
I do believe people can "have it all," just not all at the same time. There are tradeoffs. A woman may be at the top of her game at work, but farm her children out to daycare. To be a success, I believe one has to chose one area and accomplish it to the best of his or her ability. If anyone tries to do everything at once, it is a recipe for a meltdown. These days, "multitasking" has become all the rage. To me, this means being scattered and unable to focus on any one thing for very long. For someone like me, that is tough. I like to do one thing well, then go on to the next.


I agree, 9CatMom! I placed my daughter in daycare while I went back to school, and I hated it. I missed a lot of things that she was doing for the first time, and I hated to hear her cry when I left her each morning. The only good thing was that she got socialized pretty well, and used to being around a lot of kids and noise. But I didn't like doing it. Being a single parent, I didn't have much choice, though.

I agree, too! I stay at home with my kids. I think I'd go insane if I had to leave them with someone else all day. I'm very, very particular about the way they're taken care of. The down side to this is that I don't have an education, due to having my first child when I was 19, I don't have much of any work experience, and I'm a total hermit. I LOVE what I do, though. We are even looking into buying a picket fence for the front yard. :wink: (okay the fence is mostly for safety reasons, so that my autistic son can't get out of the yard so easily)



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28 Sep 2007, 9:45 pm

woodsman25 wrote:
I must say I have done alright myself. I own a small home, drive a new car and have a somewhat decent job driving forklifts loading and unloading trucks. I want the american dream and have been working hard for many years to eventually obtain it. I feel im halfway their, and am currently dating, trying to prove to her that I can be a good provider and good father maby. Only time will tell.

Half of it is your situation, and half of it is hard work and ability to maintain. Some can do it, others may not be able to. I think tho, that for me at least, being affected with an ASD, it has allowed me to be meticulous, moreso then even my father... So when it comes to efficency, i always win over my peers, i work hard so i get what i want at work and even a raise. Everyone is different, and always wondered if perhapse some of us may be able to have that american dream better then some NT's because of such meticulousness???


woodsman,

Hey Aspie bro, it sounds like you beat the odds that are typically against us in so many work environments. Of all the posts on this thread, yours inspires me the most.

Employment-wise, I'm still working on-call-casual in a lab for processing ore samples as announced and mentioned earlier on this discussion board. OTOH there has been a change of management and the rapport between myself, management, and my colleagues on the floor have been impeccable. My production has been noticed as being amongst the best in the entire company both in terms of quality and quantity. As it stands, I cap my hours in a way that I "keep one finger" in the Disability Plan; that is work/earn just enough that I don't completely lose it and the benefits that come with it. In an on-call-casual position, there are no benefits or any other perks from the employer.

I've been informed by the brass that I'm next to be considered for full-time status. When that comes around, that's when I'll leave the Disability plan that I've been on and partake of the employer's benefit plans -and btw, more hours and more production from me. :D As my seniority continues to grow, I can only see a climb up the echelons of the branch of the company where I work. I've worked in management before and will most certainly welcome the chance to do it again.

What successes we Aspies have are a two way street. We go through a lot just trying to fit in and be as independent as any NT, but their being near-sighted and hard of hearing is our penalty to pay in the form of being society's rejects. Some times, some of us do get the good fortune of being employed by an employer that sees us as one of the strong horses that pull the carts, and not a cow to be milked or a monster to be slain.

Okay... Have a few good open-minded NT's on the scene and let's show them what we're made of. :D


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Last edited by Papillon on 28 Sep 2007, 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hartzofspace
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28 Sep 2007, 9:46 pm

A picket fence sounds cozy! I love the way picket fences look. When I lived in Connecticut, so many houses had them. I loved seeing them as I was driving by.


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28 Sep 2007, 10:38 pm

I post on another forum where some of the members are living the American Dream and most aren't. Most NT's don't, either if the current mortgage news is any indicator. I agree that the people stopped by autism have the extreme symptoms. Extreme symptoms of most things stop or impede people. Mental retardation, bipolar, anxiety, ADHD, dumb as a rock - all can be major obstacles to personal achievement. Besides, isn't the American Dream a 1950's invention?


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28 Sep 2007, 11:23 pm

MysteryFan3 wrote:
I post on another forum where some of the members are living the American Dream and most aren't. Most NT's don't, either if the current mortgage news is any indicator. I agree that the people stopped by autism have the extreme symptoms. Extreme symptoms of most things stop or impede people. Mental retardation, bipolar, anxiety, ADHD, dumb as a rock - all can be major obstacles to personal achievement. Besides, isn't the American Dream a 1950's invention?


What they need to do is release a cure for cancer, or aids or diabetes concentrate on that.



hartzofspace
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29 Sep 2007, 12:39 am

Maybe it's better for each individual to conceive of their own dream, and then concentrate on that, instead of following the masses. Lots of us on here do that anyway.


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nobodyzdream
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29 Sep 2007, 1:15 am

Meh, I would blow it off. I can name a ton of people who are not autistic and are living FAR from the "American Dream". I'm assuming she's talking like Leave it to Beaver type ideas, or the Brady Bunch. There aren't many families that live like that anymore at all, and most are working too hard to enjoy what they DO have, if they even come close to having it all. So they may have it, but does it even count if they aren't around to enjoy it? I really don't get her point, lol.


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woodsman25
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29 Sep 2007, 1:43 am

Yes, while I feel a career would be good, I would rather focus my energy in the future towards family life, so atm while im gettin all that ready and all its good to see how far ya can get before its time to perhapse cut back the hrs a bit and actually enjoy life before you die.

Id rather enjoy my life and be happy with less then have more and work like a dog daily and never see my family. I hope we all get to find that balance and perhapse enjoy the time we have here even better then many of our NT peers and it is possible.


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i_Am_andaJoy
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29 Sep 2007, 2:20 am

picket fences look like "death by stake" to me, even though i am not a vampire or a vampire slayer, picket fences always make me think of violent stabbings, and red marring all that white.

but... a house or land of my own or something would be good.


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Danielismyname
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29 Sep 2007, 2:24 am

I'm living the autistic dream.



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29 Sep 2007, 12:54 pm

Learning how to play in the sandbox with others is something I haven't quite gotten the handle on. Planning and carrying out plans - also challenges. Orderly lifestyle - still in the making. But I have dreamt great dreams about great discoveries. Sometimes partnership is the answer.