So, I just stopped by Christian heaven to have yet another chat with Jehovah about a few things... Even though I don't follow Him, Jehovah’s been gracious enough to grant me an open invitation to stop by and talk to Him; as He put it, He appreciates someone with the gumption to challenge His ideas, as His own followers are too meek to do so.
We started into a discussion involving the merits of monotheism vs. polytheism vs. atheism vs. agnosticism vs. general spiritualism. Jesus happened to wander by, and I invited Him over to take place in the chat; His takes on things tend to be subtly different than Jehovah’s, and He always adds an interesting element to our conversations. In fact, in an act of devine irony, Jesus tends to play the role of so-named "devil's advocate" when Jehovah and I get into a particularly heated discussion about things.
Christian heaven is a bit bland and white and bright for my tastes, but I do like watching the angels (some of them are rather cute!), and I must admit that the puffy white clouds make for some very comfortable seats. Anyway, the three of us are sitting on the clouds, in a semi-circle, having a most pleasant philosophical conversation, as well as tea; and I must admit, they've got awesome tea in Christian heaven. Then I notice this cloud is slowly drifting up behind Jehovah. For a moment I thought I saw the cloud smirk and wink at me, but I quickly decided that it was just my mind playing tricks on me, and let it slide; one can see many things while looking at clouds, after all. The cloud drifts right up behind Jehovah, and before I realize what is going on, the cloud transforms... It's Loki! Loki then flicks Jehovah’s left ear really hard and then vanishes without making a sound... Jehovah bellows, "What the...?" and turns around, only to see nothing there. And as I'm sitting there in a state of shocked silence - I swear I'm not making this up - Jesus, who also saw Loki, actually snickered! Jehovah quickly shot Jesus a rather blistering look, then activated His Eyes of Omniscience(tm), which actually have a rather striking blue glow to them. He then immediately saw an invisible Loki trying to sneak off, at which point Jehovah bellowed, "I see you! Get back here!", transformed into an ethereal lightning ball and went streaking off after Loki. Loki saw that the jig was up, let out a loud laugh, and transformed into a ray of light, which the ethereal ball of lighting proceeded to chase; in about two seconds, the both of them were out of sight...
So Jesus and I were left alone. And, being a bit puzzled over this, I asked Him why he snickered when Loki flicked His Dad's ear. He said, "I just couldn't help Myself; the irony of my Dad getting ear-flicked by a god who His followers devoutly try to believe out of existence was just too much for Me to take. In essence, we both just witnessed a divine paradox". Jesus and I differ on quite a few things, but we do share a love of irony. Jesus then said He needed to take off to take care of a few things, so we shook hands and bid each other farewell. And just before I transcended back to this plane, He reminded me of our standing agreement: That I leave the judgment of His and his Dad's followers to Them; if they do not abide by the tenets of the faith (e.g. going around condemning and judging whence it is not their place to), there will be a reckoning for them in the afterlife, and it is not my place to interfere in that. I told him I'd remember, and headed off...
Anyway, since we're all discussing the various flavours of religiosity and not-so-much-religiosity, I just thought I'd share this with the rest of you. The universe is indeed a wondrous place.
Good fortune,
- Icarus is stopping by hell to share this amusing anecdote with Satan
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Please forgive me if, in the heat of battle, I sometimes forget which side I'm on.
Last edited by Icarus_Falling on 29 Sep 2007, 9:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.