BlueMax wrote:
Joybob wrote:
I personally have concluded that love is just a base biological instinct. I certainly wouldn't express it.
That's the problem a lot of people have... that initial chemistry / emotion "infatuation" where you're floating on Cloud Nine. That never lasts.
Part of "Love" is the conscious choice to continuously be with and please your partner, even when the magical feeling dissipates. That's why most couples break up... "I just don't feel in love anymore." Well DUH! Love isn't what TV says it is!
[what I am about to discuss here is based on my acquired knowledge of neuroscience, which is one of my current interests. despite my nickname I am not an actual doctor. Caveat Lector]
Actually, the first stage, what you call the "infatuation" stage is what is called Physical Bonding. It involves elevated levels of endorphines, vasopresin, and other feel good chemicals, along with heightened levels of sex-based hormones like testosterone based on superficial attractiveness and "chemistry" between two people. You are correct, this stage never lasts.
However, the second stage of what people generally call "love" isn't really a conscious choice. It's caused by the development of Neurochemical Bonds involving a large number of neurotransmitters, such as seratonin and dopamine. What you perceive as a conscious choice is a rational justification for a hormonal reaction. These bonds tend to be relatively long lasting, and can persist for years. Pair bonding is only one kind of neurochemical bonding. Familial bonds are also neurochemical bonds.
The interesting thing is, the chemicals that are most likely to cause the "infatuation" stage, the Physical Bond, such as testosterone are supressed when neurochemical bonds are formed.