Social vs. Intimacy

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how about both guy

I enjoy speaking to one or two people. Most conversation at parties or other group gatherings is so superficial that they are not worth the trouble. I hate to go and I usually walk away from large groups of people. Intimacy requires initiatives I don't have since I never can figure when it is permissible.

Thanks for your insight. My AS bf avoids social, but manages well. My friends threw me a birthday party the other day (5 of us total, low key, lots of food) and he sat on the couch in the other room to "watch the end of the race" (routine that cannot be broken). He continued to watch other tv, which I am fine with, but my friends thought was a little odd. I did prompt him to sing at my birthday cake (I know, stupid NT ritual), but he was happy to please me. I was more than happy to check in on him from time to time to make sure food and drinks were adequate. Just his being there meant the world to me.

Sometimes he feels overwhelmed by my mere presence in his life and needs space. He feels some need to entertain or interact with me, although I am fine with side by side, just being there and not interacting. I am a complete distraction when I am at his house in spite of my entertaining myself (reading a book, watching tv, doing office work at home) because he knows I am there. He loves to tinker in the garage with endless never completed projects, and I am fine with that part of his day. I ask him what I can do to reduce his anxiety over my “being there”, and he tells me it’s him, not me. I give him space and privacy. I just want to know if there is really something I can do to ease his time with intimacy. Not actual sex, but just the side by side time. I hate him to be anxious, but I love our little private world.

Any suggestions?

Both. Working in the NT world has been diasterous, I've messed up every romantic relationship I've been in, I've destoryed many a friendship, I had to taken out of school for my own safety, I'm not comfortable in group actitives and, to top it all off, my parents are the only people I've been able to really develop an intimate relationship with and they're always yelling at me because they don't understand how I work. Which is very stressful to me and really does make me feel like I'm on the wrong planet!

I hate superficiality and facades. I want to be able to present myself WYSIWYG - and nothing extra or less. In all situations.

I tend to be able to deal with a small group of people on a social level.Now as intimacy goes? I've not been intimate with anyone for 10rys now. Still, I neverless try to communicate with people as best as possible..

I am pretty good in intimate scenarios, in fact, it is really me an' Flakey against the world, asfar as I am concerned.

I have had my social moments lately, but usually xanax has been involved.

I think probably intimate at the moment, thats the one find most difficult, social probably the most nerve racking.

I think they are both difficult to deal with but for separate reasons. Intimate situations tend to call for talking about your emotions (which I don't do) and social situations call for you to interact with people on a level that I'm not that good at. I can be "okay" in either situation if there is a bit of alcohol involved though. I'm not as uncomfortable then.

I find intimate very difficult and social difficult but less difficult than before. But that's the short answer. The two are linked surely? You don't get intimate with a stranger. I wouldn't

The only people I like to be really close to are small kids - I don't mind them hugging me or hanging on me. I feel closet to my family, very comfortable with them, but don't want to hug them, and telling them I love them makes me uncomfortable. In social situations with people I know well, I'm generally fine, or with new people I find interesting. I have more problems in groups, and especially with less intelligent people. If people want to talk about drinking or obsess over guys, I just have no interest. That's why I prefer class discussions. I've never had a romantic relationship - I get small crushes, but I think if I do enter in a relationship, I would be private about it, and I wouldn't be really cuddly or into saying I love you all the time.

That describes me to a 'T'.

All my friends are old friends I've had since elementary school. I have tremendous difficulty with social situations and I find myself avoiding socializing almost completely.

Well I've never really been interested in intimate relationships (regarding dating) so that's not even a factor for me. Social relationships have always been a problem though.

I would say intimate relationships or close relationships of any sort. I don't expect people in every day social settings to understand why things bother me, or why I might seem flustered at all, and usually have very little intention of telling them unless they ask or unless I'm in an extremely informative mood. But when it comes to people who are closer, it is harder on me when they do not understand, because I see them more often, and the same questions and expectations of me are always there because they do not fully understand.

In a normal uncomfortable social setting, I can walk away and think "I will probably never even talk to these people, so why do I care if they think I'm weird?", but around friends/family, it is reinforced all of the time in my mind-that I do not think the same way that they do, and that I am alone in understanding myself in those situations.

I'm the same way. And now I'm a college freshman and none of my old friends are around - I have to make new ones, which I've never done before. It's hard.

Why are emotions hard to talk about?