I got fired

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I was fired because of the problems I have because of my Asperger. Me and my nearest boss was on a meeting with my psychologist, occupational theraphist and the health insurance office. They told my boss that I have problems with my energy level, that I get tired when I have to be around people. The thing is I worked night as a nurse with elderly people. I had no problems at a regular night and if I did not have to work more than the nights I had on my schedule. But all of my free time I spent sleeping to manage to work.. Even when I had a week off I had to sleep all this week. This made it impossible for me to clean, do the dishes and such at home. I also have problems with noises and smells and that I have to do long time before what is going to happen.

Anyway, I got fired because I am on the sick list since November 2006 and that they do not think that this job suits me. I tried to get back to work but I got so anxious (after just two nights) that I did not sleep well for a week. So I agree that I have problems doing my job. Or not the job itself. But if I work with this I do not get some time for myself.. I also have this OCD thing which shows in me not feeling clean. After work I spent between 1-3 hours just cleaning myself before going to bed and still I did not feel clean. (In my job I had to change diapers and that makes me feel very filthy)...

So, to be honest they are right when they say it is best for me to get fired..But I did not like what this person said.. I felt it like he trivialised the problems that come with Aspergers, telling me that all people get that diagnose today...

/Anna

Your ex-boss sounds like a jerk. Everything he said, was that phony NT sympathy and empathy display, designed to fool you into thinking that they really give a sh**! I don't know why they bother. I was fired once, on a trumped up story. I knew that they were up to something, but couldn't tell what. First they tried a sexual accusation, which is ridiculous. They asked if I thought another co-worker was "Cute." I said he looked alright. That didn't work, so they started cutting my hours, with lame excuses. Finally, they fabricated a story of hurting a patient. As I am neither oversexed or violent, it was totally ridiculous. What I couldn't understand, was why they didn't simply tell me the truth of why it hadn't worked out. I could have fought them on it, but I was tired of the BS that I just accepted their decision.

I never fit in with the team at work either but it wasn't the reason I was fired. This sounds like a load of BS to me. I never had to "fit in" to work before and I don't see why its neccessary.

Firing people because they do not fit in might seem like hogwash, but making sure that your colleagues are comfortable with you is a part of anyone’s job description. Organizations are not held together simply for financial reasons. There are issues like openness, trust, affinity and so on that can make or break an organization’s effectiveness. Individuals who do not fit in can endanger the morale of the group and disrupt its cohesion. This is particularly so for organizations which have a weak sense of mission and where internal games take precedence over everything else.

To say that I did my job and I want to be paid is fair but insufficient. The tangible deliverables are an important part of any job scope but as I have said before, it is not just what you deliver, but also how you do it that makes the difference. Write a great piece of code but treat your colleagues coolly or with disdain and people are going to feel like you think they owe you something. They would rather settle for a less brilliant piece of work from someone who does it with an easy smile and a happy chirp than to continue paying another who thinks he is too good to be doing it. And even if they have misunderstood, unfortunately the perception makes the reality.

Is there a way out for Aspies? My conclusion is that unless you find a boss who is very understanding and willing to speak up on your behalf, self employment is probably the best way out. For me, the misunderstandings were greatest when I was in meltdown mode which happens periodically. At these times my capacity for interaction is severely constrained as my brain shuts down non-core functions just to keep going. My temper runs loose, my speech is affected and I cannot seem to properly control my reactions. This is on top of the fatigue and low energy levels that accompany sleepless nights which are compounded by the conscious awareness of not meeting my softer work objectives. Needless to say it can create a very bad impression.

It is not healthy to hold on to the notion that if you got the job done the termination was unjustified. I did not just do my job, I did it very well and know for a fact that it was appreciated at many levels. But it was not enough and I still got fired from every position I landed. Accepting the cause of my job loss as a manifestation of my Aspieness is a big part of accepting myself as an Aspie. There are some things I cannot do and I accept it. This simple philosophy has allowed me to find some peace.

I'm with shopaholic on this. You don't have to make nice with your coworkers. Civility is enough. You have to work with them, not be their best friends! That's all about NT insecurity, which is their problem, not yours.

I've worked with lots of NTs who have made the workplace intolerable. Who does the gossiping? Who smiles at then stabs coworkers in the back? Not the Aspie loner.

On the other hand, I do see tht one needs to be personable at the very least to the customer. That's a given, but that can be faked.

Anna, your symptoms sound a lot like major depression, the needing to sleep so much just to have the energy to get by. Are you getting much help? Any meds to help?

Take care!

Yeah,

I suppose I tend to see my colleagues as like a bell curve - you know, 2 or 3 who I get on with very well, 2 or 3 who I can't stand being around (but would still respect if they were good at what they do) & the vast majority of whom I am indifferent to.

And wanting the world to be the way I think it ought to be, rather than the way it actually is, is one of my strongest Aspie traits, so I can't be any different to that, I just have to keep on banging my head against the brick wall!

Sounds like I am not alone, anyway.

I have only been fired a couple of times.
My problem is actually getting hired...potential bosses figure out that they don't want me working for them usually in the first or second interview.

There have even been times when I have been kept on as an employee even though I was not doing really well at the job....(special treatment)

This has been going on since about the time I started working. My first full-time job was in the deli of a whole Foods, and even though I was really slow and seriously socially inept and would have occasional meltdowns and simply didn't fit in (nor did I appreciate) their serious policy of total nepotism...where there was always this dumb popularity contest going on.....Anyway....i was kept on dispite my weirdo akwardness while other seemingly more important "Team Members" (like the kitchen manager)..were fired for seemingly mild stuff....but after dealing with this dumb harrassment situation where my (oh so AS-seeming boss)...was sorta stalking me (he was the last of a string of bosses the deli had gone through)...um...I had to leave the Deli..but none of the other teams would hire me...(i guess I had a reputation of being a flakey bad worker)...I was even met with rudeness when I attempted to apply for a position in another department.

Another time was at the ice cream parlor...I was given responsibilites and whatnot...even though I was the sloooowest closer and kept making horrible mistakes over and over again....that time, the boss knew I had ADD and I guess that is why he tolerated stuff...he was very tolerant....it was sorta embarrasing..he was about my age..I was older than all the other employees.....a pattern I had managed to mantain for a few years....getting jobs usually held by people 10+ years younger than me.

Sorry for the ramble and I hopw it was not too irrelivant to your original post.

I hate being patronised by dumb bosses more than anything. Often when that happens I will just walk out on the job altogether...I have done that a few times too.