I need your help please!

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And as you wrote this they are in the process, again, of redefining it. Notice the word "they".

I'd be interested in your definition of the word intelligence. Or did you fall into the IQ test trap too?
Most do, not your fault, just the system at work. He didn't use the word intelligence you did.
This isn't the really the place to debate it, but I didn't start it either.

Labels on people are important to some. So easy to put them in their "place". f**k them.

I don't yet have a working definition of intelligence, but I can promise you that, in all it's vagueness, my usage has little to do with grades and standardized tests of any kind.

In this case you could go back to his word- "smart"- which, as far as I'm concerned, is similarly loaded.

Now that that's out of the way. . . I don't think I understand what you're getting at here. Would you explain, please?

To start with, you yelled at me. I really don't like being yelled at. . . and I don't particularly love being condescended to either. Then there was the whole bit about how you need to be taken as a "serious writer" because you are a Professional, Friend, and how this is going to be an ever so impressive FEATURE!! ! article. . .

And when we're done, we can wink together about how right I am.

I mean, I could be wrong, but it seems to me that the wink, a nonverbal social cue, is usually followed up with some positive nonverbal or verbal social cue in return- another wink, perhaps, or a smile.

I didn't feel like smiling at you.

I think you are right you are right that taunt is not the right word; it implies a certain underlaying tension, an awareness and an intent. Perhaps I'll find a better word someday. Till then, if you have any further questions about what I mean, I'll most likely be happy to clarify.

I would be sorry I feel that way as well, but my deep regret that you write that way has somehow intervened.



But it's so much fun!

Also, I know you NT's are used to thinking of us aspies as non-persons, but since you're studying us to write an article you may wish to know that I appreciate my attitude.



It is possible that you could contact a hundred people to no avail. It's also possible that you would go to a car dealership to try to buy a car and find that none of them would start.

I don't really have a problem with you're soliciting interviews. However, you didn't ask "who wants to share their story?" or even, "can you tell me who might want to share their story"?

What you did say was tantamount to posting a notice on the door of a folklore library, asking if there was anyone about who might come and tell you some fairy tales. That you hadn't been inside to read was implied.

You must forgive me if this has left a less than endearing impression of your professional research habits.



Perhaps you are right, and I would do better not to jump to conclusions; however, as far as I can see, none of the conclusions I've jumped to about you have been particularly incorrect. Nor have I incorrectly quoted you, or attributed to you characteristics, words, or actions not your own, so far as I am aware; I merely followed the implications of your actions to their logical conclusion.

If you wish to correct me, please do so with precision, that I may best understand what you're trying to say.

I never yelled at you. Where did I yell at you? What does me wanting to be taken as a serious writer have anything to do with it? If you were in the journalism industry, you would know that quoting an internet forum is not yet acceptable as a proper source. I didn't say the article was going to be impressive (although I hope it is...), but I was saying it's a feature article so you would know that I wasn't writing some small little sidebar blurb -- that I was going to put lots of effort into this article and share was much information as I could. Again, I did NOT mean it in a condescending or taunting way.

Then by all means, don't smile at me.... I don't even know what to say here. I was winking as a sign of appreciation to this forum that I was already getting responses from willing participants. I was not trying to say, "Look how right I am" or something like that.
Listen, I just came here asking for help. I don't know why you are assuming things about me that aren't true.

Please explain to me how "I am looking for someone with Asperger's that I could interview. I just want to know how daily life is for you; What, if any, challenges you face and how, if at all, you overcome them." is asking about a fairy tale? How is it NOT asking for people to share their story? How was I NOT asking for people to share their story? And for my research habits.....I'm sorry you don't like my methods. Research habits are only as good as the results they bring about and I happen to have made excellent results thus far.

What do you mean as far as you can see?? You don't know me -- there is nothing for you to see. I have been trying to correct you, explaining to you what my intentions are. But you choose to ignore that and make your OWN assumptions about someone you do not know. You would rather jump to conclusions about my beliefs and actions based on words with no auditory cues? Why not ask me to clarify before making assumptions?


I don't want to argue with you. There is nothing to argue about. I have not taunted or insulted nor have I done anything inappropriate. No. All of what you are accusing me of is a result of misunderstandings.

Instead of wasting your time collecting personal anecdotes, why don't you read one or maybe a few of the dozens of books that have been written on the subject? Search on Amazon or the Barnes and Noble website for "Asperger's."



Auditory cues don't mean anything to us; we care about the message, not the way the messenger conveys the message.

LOL, I appreciate the suggestions, but apparently you don't understand the concept here. Anecdotes are NOT a waste of time. Anecdotes are usually what make or break an article. Anyone can read a book and paraphrase its content...it's called a research paper. The point is to talk to real people and get real quotes and exclusive content.....to bring emotion and reality into the story.

And auditory cues SHOULD be considered when you're going to be judging a person, for god's sake. Non-verbal cues are part of the message, like it or not. This is where the internet runs in to huge limitations. And another reason it is inappropriate to quote an internet forum in a news story.

When I interview someone in person, I can often tell when he/she is lying or withholding information. On the same token, though, I can tell when someone is excited or passionate about something. These are all details that are helpful in understanding the message.

Even after an hour-long interview filled with words and nonverbal language, I would NEVER attempt to judge someone or make conclusions about him or her. People are so much more than just an hour of interaction. And they are a heck of a lot more than 6 or 7 textual posts.

Many aspergeans, if not all, literally don't have the mental capacity to read non-verbal cues; and if they read them, they often don't know what to make of them. That's just the way our brains are wired; it's almost as if we are missing a sixth sense "normal" people take for granted.

Oh, and by the way, thanks to the internet I discovered I have Asperger's Syndrome. In real life, I simply don't have the mental capacity to express my thoughts they way I express them in writing. Let's remember that mental health professionals can help people with mental problems, but they are not mind readers. If you can't communicate to them exactly what is afflicting you, there is not much they can do for you, except maybe throw random "cure-all" medications at you, none of which cure Asperger's, in hopes that you'll get "better."



My suggestion is this: don't judge aspergeans the way you'd judge a neurotypical person. When it comes to understanding people like us, it's a whole different ball game. Let me illustrate: if an aspergean doesn't make eye-contact with you during an interview, it normally doesn't mean he does not respect you or is withholding information; usually, it just means that he feels comfortable when he is not looking at other people in the eye. It doesn't mean we are lying, it doesn't mean we don't respect you...that's just the way we are. Now, if you want to understand the psychological and neurological foundations for our behavior, I think you'd be better off talking to a professional who specializes on autism spectrum disorders.



I'm glad to hear you say that. Wouldn't this planet be a much better planet if everyone was as open-minded as you are?

Thanks for the explanation, that helps me understand some things.

Glad you feel that it's out of the way, you'll sleep better. And then you admit it's loaded, slight contradiction, don't you think?
You don't understand the damage that labels can do to people?
Look up prejudice and it's history. Better yet, look through your own history, if you're an aspie.

WHAT THE HECK!?!?!? AS was defined! It is simply that the stupid psychiatrists are too lazy/greedy! It wasn't INVENTED, but DEFINED! The NAZI party had NOTHING to do with it! The diagnosed people were apparently all young.

and what MW99 said:



I don't know if MW99 knows how that comes across, but it is wrong. It has nothing to do with mental capacity. AS people almost seem a paradox. We may seem STUPID to some, and geniuses to others. The sad fact is they are often BOTH right. As for the sixth sense, if NT sense is so great, why do they make so many mistakes about me, and OTHERS here!?!?

ALSO, when Jainaday spoke of a taste of AS, she was serious! She expressed an idea in the typical AS way! It was BLUNT, and came off as arrogant! But she was right.

Frankly, if you thought about doing "a half assed job", maybe you just shouldn't do it.

Speak for yourself, I don't remember electing you the national or international aspie spokesperson. I read NT's like a hawk, chances are you haven't been around long enough to need to. There are a ton of books out on body language, I just learned before they were popular. It's called survival and I enjoy watching the zoo, I get bored easy. I mean if you're already on the outside of a group, I needed something to keep my interest, so I watched them. You're mental capacity might be limited, but dont assume mine is. Rare? Hardly. I do think you would find your capacity isn't, but maybe it isn't important for you to do it either, personal call. Now granted I do miss some, but then I don't always pay attention, I get distracted easily. I also know why my eye contact isn't always there, I'm thinking and I can't do it if I'm reading body language. I don't multitask. But I'm not going to assume all aspie's can't. Some do and some don't. Take up acting it might help you learn to read the subtle better, communicate it easier as well. Ask why anime and the other cartoons are so popular (to me it just looks like poor cartoon work), I didn't have a clue why. It's because the facial body language is easier to read, or so I'm told. But there is the rub, it can be read. Practice. Study. When you master it, you'll do it better then they do. I can piss them off with moving objects around and body language and I'll never say a word. The poor dears never know what hits them. Now aspies are hard for me to read, I get false messages all the time, but I'm getting better at it. I wish I could do my nurses aide work again, I think I could do a lot better with full blown Autism. They do throw them away into institutions you know. Now there is a story, there is a crime, there is heartbreak and that's why there is so much burn out in that type of work. Even my detachment couldn't save me from that one. See they do take reading others for granted, it is as if they're on auto pilot, but good people in the medical fields know it and read it well. Freud said something to the effect just because they don't say anything, they're still talking their fool heads off, he followed it up with a more then interesting observation, saying in effect once you understand this, you really can go to depths that sheer verbal alone can't reach. NT's don't stand a chance, they are so predictable, we aren't and when they're on autopilot we piss them off.

Squier! thanks, couldn't remember the name, but isn't he like 12?! o_O!

Wow. . uh, I'm still confused. . . and while this could be a function of the severe limits on my food and sleep in the past few days, I'd really love for you to spell it out for me.

Here's the relevant things I can think of-

-in general usage, "intelligent" and "smart" are pretty interchangable.

-in some contexts, uses of these words- possibly these ideas- are highly objectionable to. . well, most people who are right, by which we mean, those I agree with.

In the context of this quote, I was referencing someone else's statements, so I could hardly avoid using some rendition of the idea. .

Actually Asperger said people with AS DO seem smart. They weren't there for being idiots. ALSO, a 100 IQ or higher isn't considered dumb yet there is a FAR higher percentage of people with AS with such an IQ than the general group. With AS such an outcome is guaranteed by the very description of it.

Hello Molsen,

I would be happy to be interviewed.

I have 3 sons - 2 were diagnosed with Asperger's this year (aged 6 and 8 when diagnosed).

I'd never heard of Asperger's until 2006.

However, if I'd known about Asperger's, I would have been able to have my boys diagnosed much younger. This would have saved my sons much stress and heartache because we could have implemented therapy earlier.

This year has been a rollercoaster of emotions.

At the beginning of the year our family life was terrible. Screaming sons who hid in cupboards. It seemed each encounter was a fight.

Now it's October, and what a difference. They've had therapy at Tony Attwood's clinic + Individual Education Plans in place.

Our family life now is great! Sure, being kids they fight. But on the whole, our household is now a fun, pleasant place to be.

Knowing about Asperger's and being able to seek the right help has made a world of difference to our family.

If I had read an article, similar to what you're proposing, years ago - I'm sure I would have had the lightbulb go in my head.

If your article helps parents identify their child has Asperger's, then it would have been worthwhile.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like an interview.

Regards
Smelena

I believe there is hope, and that I have found my way out of Asperger; http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com/

Please give people a positive feeling that mankind may find ways forward; too many Aspie's have been told 'there is no way out', just like many people were told 'the world is flat'...

Very best wishes