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I am 18 and I have this. Only recently has my Mum tried to even let me order the meals at a restaurant, and still, she has to correct me. I have to be instructed on so much stuff that an NT could do with her eyes closed.

im on like my third bank, because apparently i dont know what the value of money is

Those check paying in machines are little more than fancy photocopy machines with a safe. If it messes it up you have to wait for someone who is authorised to open the machine. My local HSBC has drastically cut the number of staff and tellers. They have machine for everything. I think I might switch soon.

There are so many things that don't make sense to me I'm not even sure what most of the are.

SteelMaiden, you are probably good at doing certain stuff and it's too bad that you have to use up mental energy at doing things you're not good at. I keep thinking we can help each other for the rest of our lives if we had our own communities.

Making phone calls to people I didn't know or know well would cause me a lot of anxiety. I'm better now but now nearly as good as NTs'. Aspies will get it eventually if they don't get too traumatized by being forced into phobic situations too often.

What I discovered about my son and his aspy friends are that they're not broken. The easiest way to be to say it is that the NT kids were each given a 250 piece puzzle where they are expected to have all the pieces in place by age 18. The aspies were each given a 1000 piece puzzle. It's not fair to demand that it all gets put together by age 18. You can really screw up a puzzle if you try and force pieces together that don't belong where you put them.

My son will always be an aspy but I think that by age 28 if we move forward on his terms, he'll be pretty self-sufficient in a lot of ways. My job is to shoot down the phobias that form from his unchecked anxiety until he gets that puzzle finished.

It is not quite the same as being ignorant. Plenty of NTs are pig ignorant on finances and other things, yet they are capable of getting it done one way or another, even if they have to pay/ask someone to do it for them.

Tax return is not difficult to do, for self employment, 'non-earned' income, investments, etc.

My sister studied economics. She works as an insurance broker/ account exec but two years running she has not got her tax return in on time and takes the fine. She didn’t even realise she had to do it at first. Basically she doesn't do personal finance. But she can take it on the chin, 'make it happen' if it really matters to her.

NTs can be good at making things happen. For me I have to understand it otherwise I feel totally paralysed. I hate that feeling. I'm clueless on how people cope in genral, it is surprising to me that they do

You are very kind and helpful. You sound like a great mother and I wish that my Mum could be less harsh on me; you don't sound as harsh as she is. I do try to do things right, but its a long struggle. I just came home from going out to Kingston (Surrey) with my Mum. We originally planned to go for a walk along the Thames, but sadly it ended up being a shopping trip. I escaped to the bookshop, but it was a tiny bookshop and did not bring much solace to me. I came home absolutely exhausted just over half an hour ago. It was so extremely noisy that I had to stuff small pieces of tissue in my ears, and my Mum kept telling me off when I stimmed (my stimming is like an extreme form of fidgeting with my fingers, and moving my legs). I love going out of the house, but not to a shopping mall! I just want to sleep now.

What you say reminds me of when I was in 8th grade. We were learning square dancing. The steps overwhelmed and confused me, while the the NTs got it right away. I felt so sick to my stomach at the pressure that it got harder to think. Then the gym teacher kept screaming at me like a drill sergeant so that it caused me to have no hope of even hearing and seeing what the next step in the dance was if that monster of a gym teacher had decided to be polite and try to get me to learn.

Some of those little things that seem automatic for NTs cause me to shut down because I wasn't trained to do them on my terms and the training started too soon, not when I was at a stage in life when I was ready for new life lessons.

Same here. If I don't completely understand, I will refuse to do the task in fear of completely messing it up.

Tell your mum that going shopping with her is like telling a cat to play tug of war with a dog. That's a game one likes but the other would hate and wouldn't do very well and get very stressed out if forced to do it.

As for stimming, an autistic friend and I were talking about having a secret AS society and we were trying to think of a secret handshake for our society. Then we realized - we reach out to show people our secret autistic handshake and when they reach back we flap our hand. It's our hand shaking. Get it?

I will try to tell her, but she gets angry. I will try though. At least I am going back to school on Monday and I will have an excuse not to be dragged out shopping for a while.
I do get it! I wish I could meet an AS person in real life. The only AS/autistic people I know are on this site.