AS as Form of Narcissism

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No because narcissim involves loving yourself

Ok, I see what you're saying. I've read that NPDs are difficult to distinguish from Sociopaths/Psychopaths. They both are extremely selfish. The difference seems to be that Sociopaths have the ability to fake being normal, in fact they can be quite charming. They lack higher emotions and are incapable of feeling guilt or self doubt, which enables them to effectively put on any persona they wish to (although some of the more psychotic ones don't do this as well as say, one who's a politician or a CEO). They are usually very aware of the fact that they don't care about the people who they pretend to care about.

NPDs are actually very unlikeable. You can tell something is wrong with them. They don't realize that they come across that way. In fact, they think they are very likable. They honestly don't realize that they don't know how to love. When they are professing their undying love to someone (right before they cheat on them), they honestly believe what they're saying.

That's a misconception. Narcissists actually hate themselves. What happens is that as a child they can't deal with the intense self hatred (usually brought on by someone constantly telling them or showing them (through abuse or neglect) how intrinsically crappy they are. They develop a black and white way of thinking to compensate. Instead of "I hate myself and I'm all bad", they say (unconsciously) "Everyone else is all bad and I'm all good; nothing is ever my fault, it's always someone else's fault." It's a defense mechanism.

NPDs do actually go through periods of self hate and self doubt, usually after some rejection or criticism. They quickly revert to the "it's not me, it's them" way of thinking though to prevent an overload of their true feelings.

I hear that! Ditto.

That's an astute observation and well said. I think I inherited a lot of my parent's narcissism and it's a heavy load. I would really like to heal from it. On top of that I also have Aspie traits and honestly I don't know which came first. All I know is that I am dealing with so many disorders it's made this life unbearable. Any ideas on how to heal from narcissism with aspie traits much appreciated!!

I prefer to go by the standard definition. I'll change to your definition ones thats the one that starts appearing in dictionaries, encyclopedia's and medical texts. Until then I stand by what I said before.

Nothing wrong with that - wisdom comes through knowing ourselves, right?

Well, if its true that the underlying problem of the narcissist is self hate, then perhaps you can regain some self acceptance through your Aspieness?

Huge difference between Aspies and Narcissists:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/journal72.html

As opposed to Aspies, who are hard-wired, and not capable of deliberately manipulating folks merely to have their egos stroked.

For a long time I though that I could be narcissistic. However, once I found out that there was such a thing as Asperger's, I quickly realized that wasn't the case.

Some of the symptoms are similar between the two, but they are two vastly different ways of being, imo.

Yeah... I majored in Psychology in college, it's been my major obsession for almost 20 years, and I was in a relationship with a Borderline/Narcissist for 13 years. I think I know what I'm talking about. Maybe you should do a little bit more research and get back to me.

One major consideration is that people with schizoid personality disorder are not generally autists, and autists do not generally have schizoid personality disorder.

In other words, people on the autism spectrum generally want to pursue our own interests and have no interest in controlling others. I am like that. As long as people do not try to control me, I am pretty happy and content. (My sister, who has ADHD-I, had to learn that about me. Both she and our late mother are or were control freaks. Unfortunately, our mother never quite got it. She regarded me as selfish because I did not do what she thought was best.)

Part of me would like to get married, for instance, but I haven't the faintest idea of how to do it (weird as that may sound to some people). Even stranger, I taught the class, Marriage and Family, for many years. I can explain family dynamics very well. (I am a really good lecturer.) However, when I try to pursue dating relationships, I fall flat on my face.

Those with schizoid personality disorder, on the other hand, could care less about most social relationships. It is not that they are socially clueless. They simply have little or no interest in social activities.

Last edited by nominalist on 01 Nov 2007, 6:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That was quoted from Sam Vaknin, I've got his book. He's very smart and knows a lot about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, in part because he has it and has admitted such. So I guess the question is; if pathological lying is a trait of NPD, how can you trust what someone with it said?

Last edited by Spot17 on 01 Nov 2007, 6:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Sam's also writing from the perspective of someone who knows they are a Narcissist. There's a difference between an undiagnosed Narcissist and a diagnosed Narcissist who has accepted the diagnosis.

Plus you have to take into consideration the wide spectrum that is Asperger's. I've heard of some people with Asperger's being astute liars, although the literature tends to say Aspies very rarely, if at all, lie..

Dang Spot, we should talk. I was also involved with someone who was Borderline (BPD) and Narcissist for about 6 years. I think I have PTSD from the experience.

Lol I did my research to make sure I had the correct definition of narcissim before I originally posted. So right now I have the authoritiative websources and dictionary vs some random persons word that they are a psych major. Once again I choose authority over you.