At what age did you give up trying to attract men/women?

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At 39.

Nor did I. If I attract men, great. If not, oh well, I'm fine on my own.

"Give up"? What sort of defeatist mumbo jumbo question is that? I'm 34, in my prime, with a great deal to offer; I've hardly even begun; I do not give up easily.

I don't need to "try" to attract women; I simply need to be myself, and meet the right types of women; that is the challenge; not attracting, but finding. With the right woman, there is no trying involved; I simply need to find her, and things will work themselves out.

Where is she? Who is she? I do not know; that is yet for me to discover. I am resilient; and I have faith; things will work themselves out for the best; either I find her, or I do not; whatever happens is the right course for things, and I will not worry over it.

But I hope I do find her; it would be a great waste for me to live out my days alone, for I have much to share...

Good fortune,

- Icarus thinks trying too hard is a suboptimal approach…

I never tried to attact them in the first place. I don't need no stinkin' man!

For being unable to see past your sexist fears... You have my pity.

It is an easy thing to categorize humans who have hurt or abused us. Male or female; dark skinned or light skinned; gay, bi, or straight; left handed or right handed; conservative or liberal; autistic or "neurotypical"; etc., etc., etc., ad inifinitum. This is easy to do. I do it myself, to a much wider degree. I simply categorize all humans as "stinkin'"; this corresponds with my experiences; the problem is humans, not any particular flavour of them.

The harder thing to do is look past our prejudices, and see individuals for who they really are. This takes effort, more effort than most are ready to give. Because someone has wronged you, and they happen to be left-handed, or yellow-skinned, or female, or schizophrenic, or whatever... This is a feeble excuse to judge anyone who might resemble that person in the same way. This is a weak-minded way to approach things, the lazy, easy way out.

I am not a "stinkin'" man; I happen to be a man, but you know nothing enough to judge me by this. I'm sorry for you, trapped in your own little hateful, fearful world. My best to you with that.

Good fortune,

- Icarus thinks all humans stink...

Last edited by Icarus_Falling on 17 Nov 2007, 4:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Try? Mumbo jumbo indeed...

I think 15 may be a bit young to give up! I never tried to attract guys as a teenager. It helped that my female friends didn't have boyfriends, so I wasn't pressured to have one either. And I think it's good that I didn't try too young, because while most people may be ready for relationships in their teens, I was not. Aspies may take a little longer to learn how to flirt and love, right?

So, because I didn't try to attract guys so young, I was able to learn from watching others and thinking about it on my own. I kind of prepared myself, because it all happened in my head for so long, rather than in the real world. Now I'm not really trying in the sense of being outgoing about it, but I'm at the point where someday I would like to have a boyfriend, and I feel better prepared for it BECAUSE I didn't try and fail so young...I still have some hope.

I'm not sure I've exactly given up, but I am sort of expecting that it just won't happen. I still WANT it to happen, and I still have a couple of profiles up (one on Aspie Affection, one on OkayCupid). But I don't go anywhere where I could meet women, wouldn't know what to say if I did, my interests are really different from those of most women (but not all, thankfully!). And who's going to want me when I've got AS and OCD (or else I'm just a freak, if it's not AS), and I don't make tons of money, and I don't know the "correct" stuff you're supposed to do when dating/married in terms of gifts, etc. and that stuff doesn't mean much to me compared to the relationship itself.

I ain't giving up. More fool me.

When I got my dx, It gave me the excuse to quit that rat race. I'm only interested in sex anyway.

Ugh; sorry, TitanDak. That last post of mine was a bit over the top. My manias spark undue belligerence, sometimes, when the right sequence of buttons is pushed; sometimes I confuse others with my own phantom menaces; at least I can promise that there never be a dull moment.

Thankfully, long-lived grudges are not part of this; I hope the same is true of you.

Good fortune,

- Icarus boxes with the dancing flies...

I didn't start.

Haven´t given up yet, but i am considering the possibility i might never marry/date successfully (or at all).
I can have kids on my own.

Can't stop myself. I don't know the right way to go about the whole process, but I definately feel something for someone. My heart has broken itself so many times, due to unrequited love, but my AS nature won't let me give up on something, despite the fact it is darn good at knocking me on my arse.

The worst thing is because my nature makes me expect people to know how I think, and I get frustrated when I realise they don't, then I assume that I am giving off the signals (knowing full well that either I am not, or don't know what signals to be giving anyway) necessary to get the girl I like in my general direction.

I'm not a quitter, and if I let every setback get me down, I would never get up again. As some say, it is different horses for different courses. Love is important to me, just not from everyone.

You have spirit, brother; may it carry you far...

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=_lJIjdajBww[/youtube]Strenght of spirit enables us to learn how to bounce rather than break after we've been knocked down enough times...

Good fortune,

- Icarus has a starship named Inexorable...

I dont think I can talk much. I go through cycles. I give up on women, thinking its more trouble then its worth. But over time my cold heart melts and I think, hey maybe not all girls are shallow unnessicarily complicated people maybe there are some understanding ones. At about that time God guides me to another girl I can give my love to, and quickly reminds me of why I gave them up <_<

I hope this time I've learned my lesson for good.