MW, don't push this stuff on your mother. Don't force the issue. Try to be accepting of the fact she can't accept this right now, and while she may be in denial of this, or misunderstanding, in the end, you're not sure why she is this way regarding AS.
Practice accepting her where she's at. You are wanting a mother to act like an ideal mother, and unfortunately, as you've read, most of us don't have the ideal mother. We came from human beings. Sometimes, whether we want to or not, we have to accept that.
That's not easy, and you can't just decide to accept the situation. It takes some working at, and we each have to figure that out. One, don't bring up the subject in order to convince her. Number two, try to have some compassion for her, and really focus on that. Accept what support and love she is able to give you now.
And most importantly, young person, it's time to push your boundaries. You need to expand your social horizons a bit, and find another person to be friends with, and preferable several. You need to build a social network. You're laying a big load on your mom, and she is as human as you are. She's not mythical. She has needs and wants, and is she able to get those met in her life? She has limits. No-one gives birth and suddenly gains super-powers. It's time to start growing up.
Your mom will come around. You do love her, and she must love you, because this is important to you. But you have to be patient.
Yes, I know making friends is hard. We're mostly Aspies here. It takes me years. You may have to consider some kind of social skills training. That can be very helpful. I look at making friends like growing a garden. I'm lousy at it, but if I plant enough seeds, water them, make sure the area stays clean, and with enough sun (luck), some of those seeds will sprout in a few months. Of course, for the plants to gain their fullness it takes a bit longer.
Good luck, Rjaye
19 Dec 2007, 3:37 pm
