How often are you lonely?

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For me it kind of depends. I live with my parents, and when they're home, I like their company, and they're usually the first people I come to when there's a problem. Only things is, they both work hard at terrible jobs so they're tired most of the time. I don't have a job or a real social life, and I spend most of the day at home by myself. Occasionally I find myself wishing I had someone to talk to, but I've come to the conclusion that in order to have a real friend, I'd basically need an exact copy of myself.

I don't really feel lonely 99% of the time and am quite comfortable being by myself. I'm great company!

I'm never lonely.

Quite a bit. Even when I talk to someone though I don't necessarily feel compatible with them. So in a sense I feel a little like a loner, a one-man band. I'm very close to my mum but that's about it.

I can't remember a time when I didn't feel lonely. It's my greatest challenge.

I have great online friends and they keep me company. All I have to do is sign into MSN and there they are...ready to talk, it's great. I still feel lonely when talking to them, though. They are so far away which makes me lonely as I want to see them.

As far as real life goes....I used to feel lonely. Now I have come to accept that I probably wont have anyone I feel close to in real life, so it doesn't bother me anymore. I am content. I have my pets in real life, and I feel close to them and they keep me company.

Thinking about it, I have reached the conclusion that I become lonely probably about once every 5 months.

I do not have a great amount of social contact. I am getting better in that I interact with people much more regularly than I used to. I still only have one friend though, and of him I see only every so often. For the majority of the time that is okay. I feel perfectly contented with my own personal interests. But, as I said once every 5 months or so I get a night or two of immense loneliness.

Using introspection though it isn't exactly loneliness though. The overriding emotion IS loneliness, but it is also mixed with a bit of depression also, as well as frustration. Unmixing those elements I have discovered some things about my own bouts with loneliness.

Loneliness is simply explained. In that I don't interact on any sort of personal level with hardly anyone. I know I am not exactly wired that way so I can understand the gap. More than anything though this loneliness is more directed to three things that I can understand. Personal life: No girlfriend. Social Life: Only one friend. Work life: colleagues but no interaction apart from work related duties.

Now understand that I don't want GREAT amounts of interaction. But having no girlfriend at all. When I travel I want someone to travel with. When I get a success through work or knowledge I want someone I can celebrate with. (And celebrate their triumphs in turn.) Or experience new things, or whatever. I get great joy out of these things by themselves, but there is always a longing for someone to share them with.

As for Social Life: I have one friend. And largely that is more than enough. But there are times when I wouldn't mind one or two others. So for instance if it's my birthday we can share a pint or watch a game of football (Glory, Glory, Man United!), or play some cricket in the backyard etc... basically, whenever I am not at work and my interests are out of the way I can do something with. It's not going to be that often, so I would need friends that would accept that, but still, I wouldn't mind having them there.

And work colleagues: Work is underwhelming as it is. But I see everyone "around the water cooler" as it were. Every once in a while having a conversation more than "we need more paint" or, "this is your assigned task" or, "okay, you can knock off now" would be rather nice. As I said I don't crave the amount of interaction most people have as it would drive me nuts, but some is better than none.

Now for the other two emotions: Depression is more caused by the gap itself. What I think I deserve and what I actually have.
Frustration more stems from my inability to make up the gap myself. This gap is getting shortened as I come to understand my particular flavour of Asperger's and come to accept those aspects about me that make me who I am. I am a recent diagnosis. So while loneliness is the over-riding emotion, it is definitely driven by the depression and the frustration. That failing to meet expectations of myself leads that loneliness to build up until it "breaks out" into a bone fide emotion.

So, in conclusion, the feeling is getting less intense and less frequent as I understand and accept my differences. But it is definitely still there.

So, sorry for rambling, but you did say "compare notes" not "desire one or two lines." And I am always one to be literal. In effect I am glad you ask, I have been tackling this problem for a while now and this question has given me a chance to introspect further and really externalise those ideas. Even if everyone else skips over this lot, it has been very informative to me

almost never.

Since about 1993, Ive only felt lonely once,
but it lasted quite a long time,
I do hope it ends soon.

Almost never.

I used to feel alone entirely-. But then I talked my dad into making a business purchase of a high dollar german shepard which became my charge of handling until his price doubled with age or buyer. With the dog, I did not feel alone. He was just to intelligent. At the same time I tamed the famed neighborhood ferral (cat). And then I had 2 caretakers. My interest in the viability of intelligence within trees and birds deepened. Then the wind caressed my skin. And I wondered. I am now never alone. Even the fog is a familiar face. Were I in a desert devoid of existence but for a bug. Well...sand dunes sort of scare me still. I head for a hill and feel not alone.


I realize I may be in a minority. I don't know alone as an alien sort of devoidness. I realize that I am and that I am content this way, so why stress about it.

Hardly ever. I don't require very much social contact. But I do have certain rituals of interaction that I'm used to (for example, my dad gets home from work at a certain time every evening, and I talk to my boyfroend on the phone at a certain time every night), and if those get disrupted, I start feeling lonely and isolated, like I'm the only person on the planet still alive.

Curiously enough, I really can't tell. I find prolonged separation from my family yields increasingly distressed and unpleasant states of mind, but how can I tell if this is loneliness? Loneliness implies missing people, not being worse off for it, right?

Me too. I feel loneliest at a party, or with someone who is not like me.

I feel lonely maybe one week in three or four...I just have these periods when I feel down and alone in the world, and I wonder if there's something wrong with me and if it will ever change. But since my interests are solitary, I can usually distract myself, or else send an email or phone call home to my mom and sister...

It's weird how you can like yourself and your life and still wonder if you're not a complete person somehow - at least that's the way I feel.

I feel equivalent to two breakups a week.

When I was younger and had no friends I was a bit lonely but since I stopped caring, I am never lonely.