Patting People?

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Yeah, I have a problem being patted. I can do a big hug if it's quick but pats... No.

Yeah...I told her.....right when she did it...well...I sorta blew up at her a little...and then explained more calmly when I could that I didn't like it...It's a sensory thing and Flakey backed me up...and she apologised......The conversation was sorta funny....

Then later she wanted me to touch thumbs with her...which I tried to resist..but sucked up and complied.....she said....this isn't for you..it's for me...well...so was the patting....

I had to stop accepting rides from this woman who always found a reason to lightly touch me. Like poopylungstuffing, I sometimes felt an exaggerated reaction, like crying or screaming. I asked her several times not to touch, but she would forget and do it again. So I no longer ride anywhere with her. I think it's selfishness on the part of these touchy-feely types. They seek reassurance, so it's not important to them if it bothers somebody else.

Yeah...that's sorta how I felt....She doesn't seem to quite understand...or she does understand..but that doesn't stop her...and that makes it seem kinda selfish to me...and like I said I am pretty sure she is on the spectrum...and is in many ways alot more "intense" than me.

But maybe it is an example of a way in which I am emotionally stunted...to feel that much of a defensive reaction from a simple touch...I am the same way with my mom...I don't like getting hugs from her...it the "lightness" that sends eerie unpleasant shivers through me.

i hae noticed my son likes to not really pat people but put his hand on them when he wants to talk to people he likes. it's often on their stomach or arm.

You do know patting people is a slight sign of your dominance over them? Some people can take it very offensively, and might even want to fight you over it. I've seen it.

Back and arm touching

"Patting on the back and touching the arm may be an act of sympathy and friendship. It can also be an act of dominance. Again, between men and particularly in situations of power, this is a signal of who is in charge."

Touching is power symbol. Touching people can be threatening, and is used by leaders to demonstrate power.

The handshake is, of course, a touch, and can lead to further touching, such as the elbow grip and patting shoulders and back.

- http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/touching.htm

So, thats why I do not like it, even from friends or family. Thats one of the more optimistic ones, other websites call it an outright showing of dominance. The only people I've met who have constantly patted people on the back were passive-aggressive control freaks.

Edit: Your female. In that case, I have NO idea what it means from you. The text I mentioned above only applies to men on men patting.

YEP! If you aren't a pretty woman I like and am friends with, HANDS OFF!

I have patted people because I was very happy for them. My brother hated it because he said he was not a dog and I my last boyfriend hated it too.

Flakey doesn't mind being patted....he himself is more of a poker and jabber....(not painful..just purposly annoying)

Sometimes I don't like to be patted unexpectedly.
But I don't think (or I'm not sure) that it's a sensory issue, because it's not a very strong feeling I get, it's just the fact that it's unexpected.
Is it still an aspie thing, or is it only if your senses are affected in a more than common way?
Once this happened, the one who patted me asked if I didn't like to be touched, and I answered that it didn't matter, she should just "warn" me first.
(BTW when I was younger, my sisters once expressed it like I had "contact paranoia", lol.)

I hate being touched unexpectedly. Hate hate hate it - makes me feel violent. If I can see it coming that;s sort of ok, I can prepare.
One of my carers touched me on my arm last night suddenly. It felt like she just lunged herself at me, actually she was just being kind. It was a shock to my system though.

But I have a habit of touching people I like - on the arm or shoulder. I just can't help it.

Incidentally, in most Western jurisdictions ANY touch is formally battery - a criminal offence. The only exception is medical/nursing care where consent to being touched is implied and inferred.

I generally avoid touching people, especially men and children of either sex (I'm male). The exception would be situation when I'm helping someone get up, giving them a high five, or tapping them on the shoulder to get their attention. So the only times I've poked people was on Facebook.

Yes I do, but I usually do it when I'm greeting someone that I'm familiar with or when I'm saying goodbye to someone that I'm familiar with:

"Hi, how are you?" and a slight pat on their upper back.
Or, "I'll see you later!" and a slight pat on their upper back.

I'm with those that don't like to be touched or touch others.

Da only tym i pat ppl is wen im playin cricket or any other sports related activity da reason why i do it cos its good sportsmenship n also its a good way of respecting ur opponents aswell.

Couldn't say, it's influenced by cultural factors too.