Are adult Aspies bad at playing with children?

Page 2 of 2 [ 32 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2


Do you feel awkward interacting with children?
Yes 50%  50%  [ 32 ]
No 50%  50%  [ 32 ]
Total votes : 64

Wrackspurt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 733

11 Jan 2008, 11:29 am

I think this depends on what part of the spectrum each of us is on. I've noticed that kids that are shy with others in the area are very comfortable talking to me, annoyingly so at times. "Yadda, yadda, yadda". It's nice to have that effect on them, but kids drain me.



ed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2004
Age: 80
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,788
Location: Whitinsville, MA

11 Jan 2008, 11:37 am

I treat all kids as people, don't (can't?) talk down to them. So those under 7 or 8 I'm no good with, but once they can reason and speak like people I do fine, they always like me. I have no real imagination, so can't play games like cops & robbers with them, but I love to play board/card games with them. I always try to win, never let a kid win. That way, when they finally do beat me, they're so proud of themselves. So it's my honest approach to them that wins friends.



Wrackspurt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 733

11 Jan 2008, 12:12 pm

I agree with that, ed. Ever notice that parents that speak to their children with baby talk, the kids speak like that themselves. Yet you get (usually) older parents who speak wisely, their kids have an amazing awareness & grasp on the world at such young ages.



howzat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,802
Location: Hornsey North London

11 Jan 2008, 12:42 pm

I tend 2 interact wid adults better cos 4 me dey come across a lot more mature where as wid kids i would find it difficult 2 interact cos dey come across me as immature but dats my opinion.



shopaholic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 594
Location: UK

11 Jan 2008, 1:54 pm

Well, the original post describes me completely!

I am petrified of small children precisely because I can't understand them at all. Once they get old enough to have a meaningful conversation with (but not old enough to be prejudiced), I am fine with them.

It's the really little kids that freak me out, the ones that make unintelligible noises that I am somehow supposed to understand.

Anyway, at our office Xmas party last month, my boss's partner & his two small kids showed up and I had no idea at all about how to interact with them. Everyone else was, while I was just sitting there staring blankly wondering how on earth they knew what to do, and wishing that the kids would go away before everyone else noticed my difficulties.

It is at times like this that I know I must be an aspie.

I am fine with very tiny babies (and animals) though. The problem is with that "in-between" stage where the kid is aware enough to expect something from me but I am clueless about what it is.....

I assume the original poster is correct in that the child is giving off non-verbal communication which most people can understand but which I am not picking up.

Interesting topic.



EvilKimEvil
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,671

11 Jan 2008, 2:01 pm

It depends on the kid. Just like adults, I can't relate to most of them, but there are some I like.

Babies are weird, though. They make me uncomfortable. I don't like it when they drool, stare, and make loud noises.



pluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2006
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,576
Location: Paisley,Scotland UK

11 Jan 2008, 2:31 pm

I've actually felt quite comfortable with my young nephew and niece.Maybe it's because
deep down I'm still rather child-like myself. :)


_________________
I have lost the will to be apathetic


Odin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,475
Location: Moorhead, Minnesota, USA

11 Jan 2008, 3:04 pm

I LOVE kids, they are far easier to interact with since the NT world hasn't sucked curiosity and open-mindedness out of them, yet.


_________________
My Blog: My Autistic Life


quirky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 326

11 Jan 2008, 4:16 pm

Kids are WAY easier for me to interact with than people my age, and I love them and they love me back lol. I volunteer a lot with kids, and they think I'm so cool because I'm older than them but still young. My mom often jokes that I'm finally popular - in the second grade! I can't say I'm great with 'playing' as in doing games where I have to play a role. But a lot of kids like how I treat them like older people and not idiots, calmly helping them with things and telling them about my car or what college is like (censored of course!) - I chat with them and help them out, without belittling them.



Spiral153
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 206

11 Jan 2008, 4:39 pm

I'm pretty good with kids. I have nieces and nephews, and I get along great with them. I can easily get along with other kids as well. I've noticed that whenever I play with kids, I always happen to get on their level (so to speak). My behavior whenever I'm around kids becomes somewhat childlike (and it's something that happens unintentionally). So maybe this is the reason why I get along well with kids.



pbcoll
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: the City of Palaces

11 Jan 2008, 4:58 pm

Depends. I have no clue what to do with babies, but as a male I'm not really expected to, which is a relief. With older kids, I'm OK - I don't really know what to do, but treating them as equals kind of compensates. The difficulty is if the parents are around, then it becomes too socially confusing. It's been ages since I've talked to a kid for any length of time, literally years I think, so I don't know now.


_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)

El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).


Belfast
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2005
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,802
Location: Windham County, VT

12 Jan 2008, 12:21 am

I voted, "Yes, I feel awkward around children".
Despite being female, I cannot stand kids, period-am not interested in interacting with them, so I avoid & ignore them to extent possible (another reason I hide at home rather than go out in public-there are children out there, yikes). Didn't like kids when I was one, either-they seemed just as (potentially) mean & dangerous as adults.

robotto wrote:
If my assumptions are correct, I do not think that children and animals can be grouped together.

Like animals and adult humans-not sure how "good" I am with either. Still have frequent awkwardness, mostly with people (the cat doesn't provide detailed feedback)-but at least I'm motivated to practice relating to and affiliating with them (my cat & some people). The cat isn't a high-maintenence companion & I enjoy her company, so that works pretty well. My human relationships are more challenging and also more rewarding.


_________________
*"I don't know what it is, but I know what it isn't."*


trashcanpoet
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 33

12 Jan 2008, 3:16 am

Danielismyname wrote:

My dog:

He doesn't care if I don't look at him
He doesn't care if I don't talk
He doesn't require social communication
His emotions are "basic"; fall over equates to hurt (where in adults saying the wrong thing can equate to hurt, no matter the intentions)



I think this might sum up my attracction to living/working with animals. I have a theory that most of the people at my work actually work there because they relate better to animals than people.


As for relating to kids, I'm really, really bad at it, but I'm bad at relating to most adults too. I think maybe my problem when it comes to kids is that I feel like as the "adult" as such I'm supposed to have this emotional maturity kind of thing and know how to "be the grownup" in a situation and I don't. I could never babysit or be a teacher or something because I couldn't make myself tell the kids what to do-- I'd feel too awkward and weird, so I'd let them do whatever they wanted even though I knew it was wrong. I'd make a horrible authority figure.



Cameo
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 477
Location: SE Wisconsin

12 Jan 2008, 4:46 pm

I'm great with babies, but not so much with older kids. I pretty much talk to them the same way I would an adult, I guess. I'm definitely not good at acting silly or playing games. I just don't get exuberant about things, and I'm not comfortable with using silly high-pitched voices or playing pretend or anything like that. Older children probably find me boring.



quirky
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 326

12 Jan 2008, 10:02 pm

Cameo wrote:
I'm great with babies, but not so much with older kids. I pretty much talk to them the same way I would an adult, I guess. I'm definitely not good at acting silly or playing games. I just don't get exuberant about things, and I'm not comfortable with using silly high-pitched voices or playing pretend or anything like that. Older children probably find me boring.


Yeah, I don't usually do any of those silly things either. With real little babies I might do a little 'cooing. But I've found that older kids tend to like being talked to like adults - as long as you seem interested in them.



pakled
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,015

12 Jan 2008, 11:47 pm

It depends. I'm not sure I get along with them, but evidently they get along with me...;)

The only one I didn't get along with was (paradoxically) a LFA child, that, until I reached this place, was what I though was 'typical' Autistic. He was mute, rocked (likely stimmed), all the 'classic' conditions, I had no idea how to deal with him.

Now the missus, who's had course after course on children, run daycare, worked in schools; kids are her life. We have a granddaughter that comes around a lot. She seems to have taken to me some, although she has a bad habit of turning off my PC (she's 16 months, toddling and babbling stage...;) I get to hear that 'I let children walk all over me', and 'they all wrap you around their finger'...like I'm helpless around them. Wonder how that counts...