Social Reciprocation
lastcrazyhorn wrote:
I've just started noticing the social niceties about how if someone asks you about your day, you should respond likewise and ask them about theirs. I figure that the people who know me well know that my timing's a bit off, since it takes a little bit to process that oh, maybe I should ask THEM how their day went as well . . .
Yep, I only recently realized that I don't usually do this. I often have difficulty in maintaining back-and-forth social conversation--and have had others comment on that fact as well. I tend to think of what I'm going to say next instead of listening to what the other person is saying--if I think to say anything next at all. As a result, I usually rely on the other person to carry the conversation, so to speak.
And as I told a coworker who pointed this all out to me, maintaining such conversation takes more mental effort and doesn't come naturally. This same person has also commented that I don't ever ask how she is, and that I don't always say "thank you" when socially expected. I sometimes have to remind myself to partake in the typical social niceties.
I'm terrible at it, especially with new people. My oldest friends we can go years before picking up the phone, then it's just like we've never parted. I've actually got worse at making friends as the years have gone by, because it's taken me a long time to learn how to distrust people, and because there seem to be damn few people in my world worth the effort! Then throw workload, responsibilities and time constraints into the mix, I probably get more social interaction from this glowing box/keyboardy thing here.
_________________
Aspie Score 173/200. NT score 43/200. AQ 37.
BAP: 108% Aloof. 117% Rigid. 112% Pragmatic.
Conformity sucks anyway.
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