How Do You Get People To Respect and Admire You?

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By respecting yourself.

One might argue that for the most part in this day and age that is not enough. You need to be pretty and have pretty things, etc. But it's that kind of thinking that keeps people from respecting themselves. If you like who you are, what you do, where you are in life or where you are going, people will like you too. And it can't just be for the sake of wanting the admiration of others. That's not genuine and it just won't work.

I want to know how to get respect too!

The late comedian, Rodney Dangerfield, who used to joke about not getting any respect was actually one of the most respected people in his field. He treated people well.

By singing, and maybe by participating in class and stuff.

I was thinking that we should be asking ourselves, what is it about the people that I admire and respect that causes admiration and respect to be instilled in me?

So for example, for people who admire and respect Alex, what is it about Alex that instills admiration and respect in you?

By having confidence in yourself. That is, by liking yourself, and feeling comfortable in your own skin. By liking who you are and not hiding your interests in fear of what someone will say. By being respectful. By not being afraid to speak your opinion, but without trying to prove someone else wrong or make them feel ashamed/embarassed or argumentative. By accepting others for who they are, offering them advice if they ask, but not expecting them to change. When you bring out the good in people. When you use humor to convey your points. By not changing your likes or dislikes for someone else. By changing your appearance or adjusting your lifestyle for YOU, and not to get someone to like you.By being a d*ck when you need to and being nice for the majority of the time.

My personal experience on the job is that while character and personality matter, what really tipped the scales in my favor is learning a skill that my supervisors wanted me to learn. I am now the "go to" person for this procedure. Because this was something more or less decided for me, there was little chance that my ability in this area would be seen as "showing off." Whereas some of my other so-called talents, like art, ended up drawing resentment and jealousy. I can't say that I am admired and respected, but at least I have won a measure of acceptance in the workplace. Mainly because there I can be task-oriented in a place where everyone is working for a common goal. Outside the workplace it is another story.

It seems ironic, but the less there is of "me" the more accepted I am. Respect and admiration? I don't look for it any more. I spent the first half of my life struggling for these things until I came to realize the truth of the Buddha's teaching that suffering is caused by desire, and that once you start letting go of things, including your self (which is only an illusion anyway), things start to go a whole lot easier. If I can get through a day without some NT person reminding me and the world around us that I am not normal, then that is a very good day indeed.

hmmm, I'm not sure what works, but I've learned a whole bunch of things that don't. Humor, Knowledge, Humbleness, Humility, etc. I guess I haven't really tried working hard, but that would require more effort than I would like to devote.