Do you Dread an Upcoming Event?

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I start around 1 week before the event and think and rethink about it non stop.
I play out sections of what I anticipate so many times in my head. They are never useful because they are always the same and never go more than a few remarks per person in a conversation.

It usually drives me ill feeling with the dread. I then often claim that I am ill (because I truly feel that way) and bow out of going. Of course I begin to feel better shortly after the point of time where no one is going to try and get me to go at the last minute.

I do a similar thing when I am looking forward to it. I think and imagine what might happen often, but I don't get the dread feeling building up to illness. I do get pretty anxious sometimes.

I also feel like life goes on hold until the event is over. I am completely unable to focus on other important things with the event undone.

I avoid making appointments due to this. If I can't drop in when I am feeling up to handling everything, then I don't go. So I seldom go to the doctor and such.

It is a bad habit that I greatly dislike and want to change. I do the last minute thing to get myself to do some things.

Yes quite often. Much of the time, even if I enjoy a social event I am SO relieved when it's over. It's not so much of an issue now that I'm confident enough to say "I love you all dearly, but there's only so much social interaction I can take and I have now reached my limit so I am leaving" after an hour or two.

Having said that, my cousin's getting married in June and I'd already embarked upon some serious dread about going to the wedding. So I've now decided that I'm just not going to go. My mum will not react very well to this news, but I figure it's my decision whether she likes it or not.

Yes even if it will be fun, although we are going to visit my grandmother tomorrow and she has cancer and is having chemo , but my son has a stomach flu today (he is throwing up )and I am trying to decide whether to cancel.I want to visit but I also don't want to make her sick. She wants to see the kids and we haven't seen her in over a year but everyone is in town now.

I hate any uncertainty but I also get distressed by knowing something is coming up that will vary from my routine. For example going up north to visit my mom is a lot of fun but I get really stressed out in the few days before we leave even though I love to see her, and this week we had to have the guy who repaires stuff inspect our apartment( they do it every year to see if anything needs repairing or replacing but usually in may or june) and until he got here I was quite distressed,they gave a window of time but not an exact one, and this is someone I see and say hi to,everyday in the morning as he lives here and walks to the office at the same time I take my kids to the bus.