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Brittany2907
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07 Mar 2008, 10:43 pm

My family disregards my opinions AND suggestions all the time. I'm not sure why...but I don't really care anymore.
I have offered suggestions before in important matters and my family members ignore them...only to find out later that if they had used my approach, they would have gotten a much better result.


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Rainstorm5
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07 Mar 2008, 10:55 pm

Funny, I always have opinions yet no one wants to hear them, LOL. I'd like to blame it my Asperger Syndrome but I don't think it really has anything to do with it. My problem stems from the fact that I'm female and only 5 feet tall. Even though I'm 40, I look very young for my age (I didn't say beautiful, I said 'young,' just so we're clear), so consequently, people - especially men - treat me like a child, which I HATE. I always figured that by the time I reached 40, I'd have achieved at least some air of gravitas, but noooooo....

Like another poster on this thread said, though, my opinions usually turn out to be the correct course of action, and things usually happen exactly as I said they would. Not all the time, of course, but often enough that I feel I should be given credit for excellent foresight, if nothing else. Do I get any respect? Nope. One thing I have learned over the years, though, if I play 'stupid' and give vapid replies to rhetorical questions, people seem to like me a little more. When people ask how your day was, trust me, they really don't want to know.


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Social_Fantom
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07 Mar 2008, 11:56 pm

Mine never seem to, in fact most people don't even listen to me. When they do listen, my opinion doesn't amount to squat. Funny thing is though, they end up realizing they should have listened to me after it's too late. :lol:


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opal
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08 Mar 2008, 12:34 am

Social_Fantom wrote:
Mine never seem to, in fact most people don't even listen to me. When they do listen, my opinion doesn't amount to squat. Funny thing is though, they end up realizing they should have listened to me after it's too late. :lol:


Yep . Most people don't even ask. I've found in a lot of situations, morons are treated better than geeks. Sad. :(



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08 Mar 2008, 2:02 am

Rainstorm5 wrote:
Like another poster on this thread said, though, my opinions usually turn out to be the correct course of action, and things usually happen exactly as I said they would. Not all the time, of course, but often enough that I feel I should be given credit for excellent foresight, if nothing else. Do I get any respect? Nope. One thing I have learned over the years, though, if I play 'stupid' and give vapid replies to rhetorical questions, people seem to like me a little more. When people ask how your day was, trust me, they really don't want to know.


That's my experience too. Ever since I've become purposefully boring in conversation, I get along better with people. I believe our opinions are disregarded precisely because they have too much truth in them and people want a quick fix and a lie-to-me solution. They try not to hear us precisely because we have excellent foresight, being as we are logical rather than pack thinking oriented. I used to think it might be my gender, my height, etc. but I know quite a few under 5 feet women who control the environment around them and people do as they say - they're the leaders of their packs.


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9CatMom
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08 Mar 2008, 10:38 am

My opinions aren't disregarded, but when people come to me, it is usually for plain factual information. I think I come across as a person that they wouldn't come to for advice on emotional issues. I am a "just the facts ma'am," kind of person.



grain-and-field
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08 Mar 2008, 1:06 pm

Of course, people could care less about my opinions, therefore I have this simple solution to that problem, I never state any opinions to people....pretty clever, huh?

But on the other hand, I dont think anyone really cares about someone elses opinions.



ClosetAspy
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08 Mar 2008, 1:13 pm

I have learned to be careful about when, where, what and to whom I am expressing opinions to. I am less guarded on WP than I am in "real life." It took me a long time for it to sink in that nobody gave a damn. So now I keep mostly to myself.



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08 Mar 2008, 1:46 pm

Open-ion topic

I like your opinions, Greentea and ClosetAspy. I read them and contemplate them. Interesting points of view I may have never considered before. They are food for thought. I comment on them. I do not choke on them. I like to read most of the topics in this website, though I do not comment on each.

Do I ever implement them? Sometimes. I have written about ideas I have read here in my own private computer diary. I tend not to write in the WP blog, in case someone sees it. I tend to be private.


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markaudette
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09 Mar 2008, 6:14 am

So many people have disregarded my opinions that I don't even give them any more. I just listen to people and only give my thoughts when specifically asked for them.

I have become much more silent and non-forthcoming in my later years.



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09 Mar 2008, 7:02 am

I find that the less I say, if I just act on what I know, people follow it. But if I start explaining or verbalizing my thinking, they reject it. For some reason the things I take into consideration don't appeal to them, or the connections don't occur to them, but the conclusions seem valid to them.

I don't know what to do about this, if I should fight for my voice or if I should resign myself to a life of isolation. I really don't know. I'd like it better if I could talk to someone without offending or upsetting them or alienating them, and without being fake, but it doesn't seem to be possible.



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09 Mar 2008, 9:32 am

sometimes mom plays this game where she asks my opinion on something - ie: what new carpet looks/feels best when we were redoing my room. she presents three options. i go, 'wow, this one is really nice!'
her: '...that's the expensive one, so pick one of the others.'


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Greentea
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09 Mar 2008, 2:53 pm

Irisrises, I second that, every word.


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angelgirl1224
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09 Mar 2008, 2:57 pm

i have found that. i would say now it counts more but i have found myself in situations where it doesnt even matter