I feel wronged by a psych tester who didn't see my AS

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I did when I got diagnosised...but I have HFA, not Aspergers, and he completely ignored my history and just said I had Aspergers when that's not possible because I was severely Autistic as a little girl, so I have to have HFA.

As I sit here reading this series of posts, stimming on my keyboard, I recall that the reason my hubby joked for me to bother to get an official Dx would be so that I could get a medical pot grower's license (he puffs occasionally, I don't smoke) and a disability pension.

Thanks for the feedback so far, everyone.

I'm seeking the diagnosis to get an extension on the time window for accumulating my hours as a therapist intern. Because eye contact tires me, I have to have a light schedule to get by. So my seeking the diagnosis is strictly practical, and I know I have AS without a doubt. I diagnose people in my work and am familiar with how it works. Emotional matters are a little more fuzzy, so I let others diagnose that type of stuff.

It's just a matter of finding the right professional who knows what to look for. I've been hiding the way I am for so long that I look too normal now for most to see any abnormality or difference. I pretend to be comfortable with eye contact, but I'd love to be able to get permission from someone to look down or away while talking to them so that I know they won't find me weird or disinterested. I think I'd like to do that with the next professional I see so that he sees the real me. (I'm getting more self-confidence about having AS and losing the need to pretend.) It really disrupts my ability to think when looking at someone. I probably lose a few IQ points as a result of looking, and I lose my train of thought more easily. My memory recall suffers as well, and it's difficult tapping into my feelings. It's only once in solitude that I can identify feelings clearly, but then I'm very forthcoming about them to the relevant person in my life.

I have no problems with my self-image, and my social skills are decent. But I have trouble talking to strangers and striking up a conversation because I don't really do small talk. I end up just staring and wondering what to say.

I actually own that book CBT for Adults Asperger Syndrome. It's a great book. Thanks for recommending it. I'd show it to that psychologist if she gave me the chance, but I feel she's a lost cause and I should move on. But I'm guessing I can at least be glad the basic testing for various areas of functioning is over. I was above average overall, with my vocabulary and the block test especially good, but I lack environmental awareness and have difficulty holding multiple pieces of information in my head at once.

Are these basic tests absolutely required to get a diagnosis?

I dont know, they will want to talk to a close family member of yours to get a history and you have to tell them what you struggle with. you should tell them what you have written here about eye contact. It will be helpful for them to know that when trying to conform to social situations and making eye contact its harder for you to concentrate. The IQ result will not matter as long its within the normal range.

Thank you, I will do those things.

An IQ test I took said 147, so I probably still appear higher than normal even though I do lose some points while talking to someone face-to-face.

The AQ test put me at 37 one time and 40 another.

Sounds like you need a new psych. WHile not diagnosing you with AS is no reason to doubt the psych, quite a bit of the other stuff you said is.

I only learned that one was supposed to make eye contact in conversations once I heard about AS and began suspecting I had it. Now I'm complimented on my eye contact and told there is nothing wrong with it, if I mention I've had problems with it, but I had to work on getting it there. First I couldn't figure out why people weren't staring directly back at me, then someone told me you are supposed to occasionally glance away. So I tried that only to find that everytime I looked away I was immediately asked what I was looking at. It took some practice but now I'm fine with it. And its no longer scary

You're right on the money. I wasn't going to argue with her final diagnosis (or lack thereof). She gave me a rule out of Pervasive Developmental Disorder, NOS. It wouldn't kill me to live with that and I already began thinking I would...UNTIL I thought about what she said on my eye contact and read the full report she gave me, which was half fiction loosely based on superficial aspects of my life story and completely wrong about my present life. She doesn't know how to get clarifications.

Yeah, I relate to your experience of people looking away more if you stare too hard at them. I've also had to practice glancing away for short moments to keep them comfortable and less stared-down. If it's not one extreme we do with people, it's the other, right? Got to find middle ground.

I knew to make eye contact in general because it was demanded of me as a child, or else I'd be chastised. Basic behavioral principle of aversive conditioning.

See, I was always told "Look at me." Which greatly angered me because I was looking at them. Indeed I was staring straight at their chest (or legs when I was small) and then they have the nerve to go and tell me to look at them. My gaze toward them couldn't have been straighter.

I've recently come across some photos of myself as a child and I've noticed that though I'm looking toward the camera my eyes are never looking toward the same place as everyone else's

Anathemaviolet:

(Anathema is a great band by the way!)

I really had an affinity with your experience as in some ways I am in a similar situation to what you are. However I think i may be able to give some good advice regarding your situation.

I am 25 and if I have AS I would consider that I am high-functioning to an extent that it would be difficult to diagnose me. I have no problems looking people in the eye, however I instinctively deter my gaze when I'm intense in thought or talking about something personal to me, or trying to focus my thoughts whilst concentrating.

I have known I was different my whole life, but never on a level that I thought something was "wrong" with me.

A number of years ago, due to my reaction to various substances someone suggested I may have had ADHD, however when I looked this up, I didn't match all of the criteria, and I definately did not get Hyper in any way. I left it at that.

Since then I've gotten married. The woman i'm married to is quite firey and has accentuated my eccentricities as well as my problems, in particular problems that I just can't seem to correct, regardless of what I do.

I was directed to AS, and as soon as I found it, my life started to make sense, I took all of the online tests and scored high on all. I told my wife I thought I may have AS and this has almost broken up my marriage, as she sees that I had to be unhappy to search for a diagnosis, and ontop of this that I have self-diagnosed myself from the internet.

My GP (who has 3 patients with AS) said I didn't have AS without even hearing me say anything simply because I'm married, and he said that people with AS aren't able to maintain a meaningful relationship to the extent of a happy marriage.

The Psych I am seeing at the moment (only had one visit) is open to a Dx of AS, but he said that the people with AS that he has met so far were "pretty messed up" and he suggested I read about Dissociation before my next visit.

People on the Autistic/Asperger Hotline here in Australia told my wife that I should have more tics(stims), that bread and milk will make me anxious, and from my wife told them about me they said it doesn't sound like I have AS.

As an intellectual guy who is searching for self-meaning and understanding through reaching a diagnosis, one thing I have to consider is that i may NOT have AS. To be unbiased, and to honor my search for truth I should consider both sides.

One point that is hitting me at the moment, is that I haven't MET any people with AS in person, I only know of online articles and tests, and what people with AS have written online. There appears to be a gap in my understanding of AS between how they behave online and how they might act in person, that for someone reason is putting a bit of doubt in my mind.

I have seen 'Mozart and the Whale' and felt I was a cross between the two main characters, but I don't talk overly loud (except sometimes when I am meant to be being quiet, and I can't stop talking loudly), I am able to look people in the eye without getting tired (however I can't express myself personally whilst looking someone in the eye, I have to look to the ground), I am able to be quite social, I don't HAVE to follow routines or I freak out, I don't freak out about anything, even unexpected touching, or uncomfortable situations, loud noises, large public places. However I'm not comfortable in these situations either and I resort to my own internal coping mechanisms to get through them.

I guess what I'm saying, is that, to be true to yourself, you have to atleast give some credit to what the Psych is telling you. They may not be right, but they are a person too, and are basing their diagnosis as best they can from what you are telling them. They have no agenda to give you a false diagnosis and i feel your letters to the psych are quite rude and offensive.

Has the Psych met your parents? What have you told her or given her to assist in your diagnosis?

The Psych can't tell if you're getting tired from eye contact, only you can. If she is basing her diagnosis on classical sterotypes of AS then that's not her fault either, she is doing the best she can. What you need to do is be conversive with her regarding this in a way that is not accusatory to her. Either that or seek a diagnosis from another professional more experienced in the field, however you need to keep the option open that you may NOT have AS. There may be something out there that you have never read about that is more descriptive of the symptoms you choose to see, the symptoms you exhibit that others see, and the symptoms you choose not to see.

But from people that I have spoken to who have met and treat people with AS, and people who have studied most of their lives to get their professional status and would have read about AS at some point, they seem to give a different impression of AS than what is presented online, and what is presented by some people on this forum.

It has been said by I think Danielismyname (who seems to have a good idea) as well as details on Mr Tony Attwood, that to achieve a diagnosis of AS, they tend to follow the Gillberg's Criteria more strictly and there are a set of symptoms that need to be met to get a professional diagnosis. Furthermore, the symptoms you exhibit need to be evident to an extent that they prohibit your functioning as a normal person.

Some people have said that it is very difficult to get a diagnosis if you are able to function normally, regardless of whether it is due to the coping mechanisms you have developed over the years, because essentially you are normal, but achieve this normality in a different capacity.

I guess, what I'm getting at is, don't get too upset, speak to your Psych on a level that you would like to be spoken to and query WHY she thought the things she thought, and possibly write down the reasons why you think you have AS and how they inhibit your life and show that they have always existed. Allow the possibility to enter your mind that you might be wrong, and that to achieve the truth you need to be able to hear what you want to hear as well as what you don't want to hear. Seeing a psych requires an element of trust in that they know what they are doing, if you don't trust them, go to someone else, otherwise it is a fruitless effort. You need to trust someone to allow your true self to come out, and remember to BE your true self. Even though you can look people in the eyes, when with your psych, if you don't WANT to look them in the eyes, don't. Let all of your coping mechanisms go, and just try and be honest to yourself infront of the Psych.

If you want to shoot me a PM that would be great, because as someone who has found AS and self-diagnosed myself with it, and am now trying to go down the official reporting lines to achieve a diagnosis, it may be helpful to share experiences, as it can be a doubtful and scary experience.

Anyways, sorry for the long post.

No, I appreciate your long post.

And, no, she has had zero contact with my parents.

I gave her a detailed and long list of my symptoms before she even wrote the report and explained them to her in talks. Yet that eye contact thing held her back.

Actually, I have been quite nice and polite to her. I have not and will not send that really long letter draft I posted in the first entry of this string. That was just a way of coping with the anger I felt about being misunderstood and having paid thousands of dollars to merely get misunderstood.

Here's what she's responded with today:

"I received your detailed email and appreciate your
concerns. I will be happy to attach your email as an
addendum to the report."

In other words, she doesn't feel like doing any more work. I asked her again politely to make the factual corrections:

"Thank you, [Dr. So-and-So]. I appreciate your making it an official addendum, and I understand that it would be some extra work for you to make corrections to my story. But it's hugely important for me to have an accurate report for future use. I would like that the truth be reflected in the original paperwork for others to use it effectively and not see me with unhelpfully biased eyes. I want to request once again that you please help me with this. You are entitled to your opinions about me, but you could at least restate what I report experiencing. Otherwise, I will have been misquoted, and this will confuse later therapists.

Thank you for your time once again."

Like I said before, I'm not going to argue with her provisional diagnosis of PDD, NOS, but I don't like being depicted as a needy, insecure little girl dying to be taken care of. I've always been an independent girl, ever since childhood, and my parents were always caring. In fact, I occasionally turned down my mom's offers for caring because I didn't need them. They just didn't understand me fully is all. They were not refrigerator parents, so to speak, and I am not suffering from any depression, anxiety, or identity problems as she claims.

I'm not going to worry about the actual diagnosis until I see a true specialist.

Hello again

From your recent post it does sound like she is reluctant to work for the money she is earning. If she has a manager or works for an organisation I would write a formal letter of complaint in the way you have been handled. Either that or if there is an Ombudsman approach them, as essentially she has wasted your money.

They may require you see another Psychologist or specialist to validate these claims, however it seems as though you will be doing this anyways to attempt a more accurate diagnosis that you can feel confident in.

You do not feel that her report is accurate, and in addition to this, that she has considered your feelings and objections to her diagnosis in her report, her only consideration of these as attaching them to your file.

If her report is found to be innaccurate then you may be entitled to a rebate of sorts, because whilst psychologist's work is largely a matter of perception of symptoms and fitting them with a diagnosis or varied diagnoses and determining a course of action for rehabilitation or therapy, if it is drastically off mark technically speaking, then she should be remanded for it. She can't just say "Well that's what I thought" she has an obligation and a duty of care to be as accurate as possible in her reports.

Anyways, please keep us updated with what happens as I am very interested in how it goes, your Psychologist does not seem like a very considerate person, especially when her job is to consider your feelings and actions in aligning a diagnosis to you.

Good luck with finding a psychologist that you are comfortable in being with. Here in Australia we can get the government to pay up to 12 visits if we are referred by a GP. Do you have this provision where you are, or something similar?

Thank you, tbam.

I'm in California, and I don't believe we have such a system of getting free sessions if referred by a GP, unfortunately.

She is working under a private practice license, given to her by a licensing board (The California Board of Psychology). Perhaps I could contact this board, since I agree with you that she is not operating under good standard of practice. I would REALLY love a rebate, but for some reason I feel that won't happen. I'll find out anyway.

If you don't have the facts right, how can your diagnosis be right? That's just incompetent to no longer care after the fact.

I will definitely post any news on here. I'm glad you're interested.

She still hasn't responded, so I'm assuming she's made up her mind. I'm filing an official complaint to the CA Board of Psychology making two types of complaints: providing services for which the individual has not been trained and unprofessional acts.

I have written a very thorough description of what happened so they can decide whether or not it's a valid complaint from there. Maybe they can pressure her to either correct the report or refund me at least some of the money.

I have made an appointment with someone who I think is highly qualified and reasonable. I'm extremely excited to meet with him a week from today - Mar 30.

His name is Dr. Bruce Gale, and this is his web site: bgalephd.com

I sent an e-mail last night and immediately got a professional response in the morning:

"Thank you for contacting me. I would be happy to see you for a consultation, which may also include some degree of 'testing,' typically in the form of a questionnaire. Sometimes, additional cognitive/neuropsych testing helps clarify, but this is not always necessary. The meeting typically lasts about 90 minutes during which time we would review your history and current symptoms and you would also complete a personality questionnaire (in most cases). My coordinator, Rina, can send you the necessary paperwork in advance via email or whatever means you prefer. For the meeting and associated testing, I charge $500. If the questionnaire (something you fill out after we meet) is not needed, the charge would be $425. Additional testing, if indicated, is billed at $250/hr and generally takes about 60-90 minutes."

I wonder if he means the MMPI when he says personality questionnaire. I've already taken that one.

I'm a little anxious about giving him permission to contact that psychologist who got me all wrong, since I don't want him hearing from her about me. But he does need the basic testing results. I'll just have to warn him of that.

Yay! I'm feeling much better now. Will continue posting updates later.

Thanks for the updates!

I had a brief look over the website and his email seems to be quite up-front and honest which is always a good sign.

If you are willing to spend extra, you may want to ask if it is ok if you see him prior to giving him the details or records from you previous psych, as you feel she was incorrect in her assumptions and would like a true and unbiased initial observation from him.

After the first observation / testing you may want to give him the details so then he has all of the relevant information and can be more accurate in his suspicions. If he is any kind of professional he should be able to view your old records constructively, and critically, having the gall or experience to disagree where he sees fit.

But first things first, get that initial consultation without bias, and be yourself as much as you can.

Remember to let go of all your coping mechanisms and imagine if you were in a room alone, and if you were recording a video of yourself, or talking to noone. Just try and be who you know you really are, and be as honest as possible. Don't be afraid to tell him about the other psych but don't make this your focus, just talk about yourself, how you feel, how you've always felt. The reasons why you think you have AS, the reason you want a diagnosis, that you would be content with managing your life without a diagnosis, however it is a possible hurdle in your professional career.

Anyways, good luck! I have my neurologist appointment on Tuesday coming. I'm kind of excited, but kind of nervous, as the last time I saw this guy about my legs, he spent 5 minutes on me and charged $60. So i'm a bit nervous in how it might play out, but I just have to remember (as I said to you) to be honest with myself first and then him.

Let me know how it goes!

Anathemaviolet - you don't worry that a diagnosis will hurt you professionally? That's what prevents me from making it official.