People who don't understand say hurtful things. Examples are

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Arbie
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13 Mar 2008, 7:26 pm

So many I have blocked them out. The way a certain family member likes to characterize aspergers is simply as "problems". As in when she gets mad and I stand up to her bullying, or don't let her bully me to win an argument she has said in a really hateful and dismissive way:"That's ok we all know that you have problems". As if to imply anything I can do or say against anyone is inconsequential because of my "problems".



9CatMom
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13 Mar 2008, 7:37 pm

From a school psychologist: "You'll never amount to anything."



SKOREAPV83
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13 Mar 2008, 9:42 pm

My examples:

"You're just not trying"
"You're choosing to be in this/that mood"
"You're choosing not to control your emotions"
"You don't want to say clearer words"
"You don't want to answer this/that question"
"You're choosing to mumble"
"You're choosing to have low social skills"

99.99% of people who say things like these are Baby Boomers. I don't know what it is about that generation. My father was the first one to make these bulls*** a** claims. But nearly every Baby Boomer I've met since I met him has made the same claims. I know I sound stereotypical, but I am only stating my experience. At least my mom is against the rest of her generation. She NEVER said I'm "just not trying". She got into many arguments with my father over me due to his pride in being a Baby Boomer and saying these hurtful things to my face too many times before. I guess I better hide my true feelings towards that generation from this forum before I get in trouble.



ingenue
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13 Mar 2008, 10:58 pm

"Arrogant"

They think I behave the way I am, because I feel superior since I'm considered by others as smart person. If they just knew that i was dying to be like them.



opal
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13 Mar 2008, 11:51 pm

zee wrote:
CaptainMac wrote:
I once had a guy say to me:

"You know, you make really bad eye contact."


You should have said "I just can't stand to look at your face".


I wish I could remember those lines at the time :lol:



emmaC
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15 Mar 2008, 5:19 am

MissConstrue wrote:
Hey how about you come up with a speech! (ppl always assume the quiet ones are smart)

You are a goody two shoes. (Maybe I don't want to get in on this BS drama)

You're a narcist. (I don't know why)

You're such a baby, grow up. (I still feel like a child on the inside who can't mentally function like adults do. It sucks)

Good luck with finding a job that will give you a living. (I think they were right about that one)

God you're strange. (I don't really know the reason for this one. Probably b/c I keep to myself and do odd activities like doodle in books or write a bunch of stuff in my journal)

You probably won't do well with living on your own (That hurts but I think it's true)

Get a life (What does life mean in general?)

I'm sure there's more. I've been hurt many times and felt that I was invisible. I still feel like that at times. :(

I also get this from some people sometimes "Get a life" and "You're such a baby, grow up"



demoluca
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15 Mar 2008, 9:13 am

"you ret*d."-from ex-friends.

"you choose to forget your assignments."-from teachers.

"EWWWWWW!SHE TOUCHED ME!"-from ex-friend.

"STRAITEN YOUR LEGS!YOU ret*d!"from random kid.

"mommy,is she a robot?"-random child on the street.

"what does that face mean?"
From random people.

"of course you don't know."-ex-friend.

and then there was the person that counted people in the room,saw that i was in there too,ignored me and counted one less upon seeing me,like i was less then human.


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9CatMom
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15 Mar 2008, 9:30 am

"Are you ret*d?" This was mainly from other kids in my class, kids who had much lower grades in school than I did, and some who were close to being criminals-and later did wind up in jail.

I wasn't perceived as being stupid most of the time, though. Actually, it was just the opposite. I was a bit obsessive when it came to getting good grades and was considered an extreme perfectionist. I was even thought of as a bit selfish and single minded. I wasn't competitive in a cutthroat manner. That probably would have taken more awareness of people. I was a perfectionist, though.

Clumsy. I was not at all graceful or athletic.



Sora
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15 Mar 2008, 9:42 am

The invisible disability.

Or if you don't like to say 'disability', then it's still invisible autism spectrum disorders.

Invisible. It can be so bad, horribly annoying, just downright painful (although yes, invisibility can be good sometimes too).


On a side note, people all over the world at all times seem to say hurtful things like the ones that were already posted? It's somehow disturbing to think of how similar everybody seems to be. I grew up with many of the comment being said to me too.



copernilol
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15 Mar 2008, 9:50 am

This thread is hilarious to me because I was just thinking of these exact situations today, most of which happen with my sibling.
Sadly they also happen with my mother, which I find a little depressing as she shows many obvious symptoms of Aspergers, which gives me a higher expectation for understanding from her. Sadly it doesnt happen in many cases.
But it makes me wonder if she's simply reiterating what she had been told when she was a child.
:?



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15 Mar 2008, 10:15 am

People say the dumbest things. I am NT, but I'm introverted and I used to be painfully shy when I was a kid. I got told all the time about how I was shy and I needed to open up and talk more, etc.... Their comments taught me that people like to give out useless advice. I mean, I already knew I was shy and I wanted to be less shy...but, that's how I was.

Some time around middle school, I learned that people are also cowards and if you turn it around and shut down their unwanted advice then they will leave you alone. People tend not to give me advice. If they do and are excessively rude about it, I see that as an opportunity to give them all the advice I have for them.

Try not to take the comments personally. People who give unsolicited advice are generally unhappy with themselves and can't fix themselves, so they try to get others to change.



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15 Mar 2008, 10:57 am

MusicMaker1 wrote:
"She's cute, but it's her personality" etc, etc..


If I heard that about someone, I'd be dying to meet her... I've found myself defending others for sbeing 'strange' lately.

MusicMaker1 wrote:
Some people assume I must be arrogant or selfish or just plain rude for not responding to their nonverbal communication.. So therefore, they want to either teach me a lesson or they spin their heels and strut away from me... (Often times, because I'm pretty blind to that nonverbal communication, I don't even have a clue as to why they are angry at me..)


Welcome to the club.

MusicMaker1 wrote:
Other people think I might do drugs or did enough drugs to change my brain.


Yeah, people have thought the same of me.

MissConstrue wrote:
You are a goody two shoes. (Maybe I don't want to get in on this BS drama)


I've had that too. I find it particularly irritating.


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15 Mar 2008, 12:43 pm

'When i met you, i thought you were mentally ret*d' - misguided but helpful in the long run Stepmom.

'What the hell is wrong with you?' - Dad

'When you have kids, i swear you will leave them somewhere and forget about them'.. sister

'You need to grow up sometime'... i forget... wasnt that important who said it, really.


The thing is, that no one on the outside is ever going to totally understand you, its better for you to understand yourself first. Just count them as ignorant of who you are and what you can do.



GizmoGirl
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15 Mar 2008, 12:57 pm

my favortie from my parents is "if you didnt get married , like we told you not to you wouldnt be in this mess,see we told you youe not ready for marriage, I understand why you act like that!"

or

" just apply yourself more, you can do anything you want to do, just push your brain to do it!"

its not that simple people!! !

ok im done venting now, thank you! lol :D


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cataspie
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15 Mar 2008, 1:06 pm

I hate people saying you have to like yourself and then other people will like you,because i do like myself.Also i like my own company that is why i spend alot of time by myself,i spend alot of time by myself because i enjoy my own company and mind so much.



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15 Mar 2008, 1:56 pm

My all time favorite: You need to see a doctor and get that taken care of.