So...It has been decided that I am stupid.

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they found that house is stupid aswel but he is brillant so you should be good at something so exploit it

17 isnt old, 40 is

Sorry you are having to deal with your relitives insanity.There appears to be some sort of epidemic,perhaps it is contagious?

It also appears that they are suffering from a lack of Theory of Mind,when it comes to any mind that isn't just like theirs.It's sad but they are wired that wayand are not even aware they have a problem....so sad.

There hurtful words are not to be taken logically as truth or fact.They are simply using a method of control that they found was effective in controlling them(and most NT's)...it's called "shame" and is meant to make you "conform".The fact thtat you are trying to use logic to understand an emotion- based control method is what is causing you destress.It might help you understand it if you use your logic to understand this behavior.

Why people shame other people.....

They are bored with their own lives and need a destraction
They do not want to look at their own imperfections so focus their attention on others
They find fault with others to feel superior to them rather then bad about their own issues
They are genuinely afraid that your behavior will result in your abuse by bullies(without relizing they are acting like bullies)
Their inate fear of the unknown has made them insane


We all would like to be excepted and understood.We all would like to have our personal behavior,if it doesn't infringe on others,ignored so that we can focus our attention on the important things in life(instead of these insane emotional outbursts from illogical people.)But the reality is....we have our wiring that creates certain behaviors and they have theirs.They are usually no more able to change their "wiring" then we are ours.Unfortunately,they are in the majority and this gives them a false sense of "rightness" in their own minds.We can and do make many adjustments to NT society because we are given no choice in many situations.They do not have this motivation,so it is more difficult for them to change.

I have been studying abnormal psychology for many years to try and uderstand human insanity and have discovered...

they are crazy because they are wired that way...more's the pity.It's never easy to be sane living in an insane asylum but what choice do we have?We have to try and hold ourselves above the frey as much as possible so that we dont become infected ourselves.

wishing you luck

blackcat,

THEY are stupid! What you mentioned that you do is STRANGE! It is UNUSUAL! It might be hard to understand(though I DO understand it). It is NOT stupid! BTW I go out without a coat in winter(Because I LIKE the cold, etc...), and some other things, and am called stupid for THAT! There have even been things I have done that were SMART that I was called stupid for!(I wish I could remember a few of those) People have laughed at how I sit.(I developed a new way of sitting to decrease having to change the center of gravity, etc... It was good because bullies had a harder time keeping me down.) I even have a funny stance I now take to pick stuff up off the ground(It lowers me a couple feet, and adds stability, so my back isn't as likely to get hurt). I guess someone will call me stupid for THAT!

The guy that first said the word was round, and the guy that first said microbes caused disease were RIDICULED and called idiots!

BTW I often lay ON TOP of the covers! WHY? Less pressure/heat, and I tend to just like it better.

So you may be STRANGE! JOIN THE CLUB! That does NOT mean you are stupid!

I wouldn't say you're stupid. You just like doing things different at which I did too when I was younger. But why u slept under the bed? Don't you get cold?

Are there many tornadoes where you live? Just tell them you don't have to worry about waking up and getting in the closet/bathroom or under a mattress, see who is stupid when they get sucked up.

Four of my cats come join me when I sit in the closet. My lap is not that big, so then the jealousy hissing and spitting begins. They put up with my antics, though.

Some people, especially we older ones, are quite concerning with what other people think of us. More concerned than they should be. Your grandparents are probably acting out their own fears of being "pointed at" and are taking it out on you. Patience, please.

Pops

Last night she screamed at me for an hour for being rude to my friend. I wanted to go with her to Mal's house(to get away from home for a while) and she said no, which was fine. I said okay and let it go. Erin comes and rings the door bell, I answer and say Sorry, I cant go. Then I close the door. My mother EXPLODES(no, not literally) and is redy to hit me. She runs up to me and wants to know" Why the f--k did you do that to your friend?! !" She yells and yells about how I should have invited her in instead of taking my anger out on her and slamming the door in her face(which I did not, I asked her to make sure)I try to mute my phone so that thge person i was talking to wouldnt hear and she broke my phone in half. Apparently I was to invite her n, say I couldnt go, and send her out again. I didnt(and still dont) see what I did so wrong.

St. Francis of Assisi was despised by his family and it remained that way until the day they died. Even though the world was already acclaiming their son, they still didn't like him.

I don't have one relative who likes me.

blackcat:

When my son (now 6) was diagnosed with autism my husband called his father and got screamed at. Who knows why. Freak out over not having the grandchild they thought they had?

I don't know if you want to make an effort to contact them or not, but if so here is the one question I would ask: Am I any different today than I was before you know about the mattress, etc.? Because I haven't changed--all that's changed is now you know.

I used to like lying under the bed when I was younger; I've only done it once in a great while since my teens though. My ex thought it was strange to come home one day to find me lying between the mattress and foundation.

Perhaps your parents will eventually come around and realize that you can't necessarily control it. I used to get yelled at by my parents for rocking when I was younger, and my mother still will tell me that I've been deliberately rude or upsetting when I don't realize I've said something upsetting.

Just hang in there, not much longer to put up with them. Do you have a job, or the ability to work? I would start looking now if you can.

No one should have to live with that kind of abuse. And I notice that you only mention your mother and your mother's side of the family, is it possible that the other half of the family might be a little more understanding and supportive?

A couple people on here have mentioned those weighted blankets, maybe that would be a little more... less offensive to try to your mother? I don't know, when my kid does something that seems a little odd I ask him why, at the very least.

When I was a teenager I would always feel more secure with my bedroom door closed, I wasn't all that social. Parents thought that a great solution would be to just take my door off the hinges. sigh.