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sonny1471
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28 Mar 2008, 1:50 pm

If it's someone I'm familiar with, I can make some limited eye contact but I still don't like it very much. If it's someone I'm not familiar with (cashier at a store, stranger in a hallway, etc.) I'll just look down or look away as I'm speaking.

The other thing I tend to do is I'll look at someone briefly and then rub my eyes to break eye contact or look at my computer screen or whatever else is around and then look back.

If I try to hard to concentrate on making eye contact, I'll lose track of what the person is saying or blank out completely.



samtoo
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28 Mar 2008, 2:07 pm

Sorta inconsistently on and off... if that makes sense.


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Jeyradan
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28 Mar 2008, 2:12 pm

In normal circumstances, I don't do eye contact (except with one or two people I am really comfortable with).
I look at the floor, the desk, the walls, objects that catch my eye, the person's clothes, anything.
I prefer conversations that take place in cars, on walks, situations where the people are naturally not facing one another.
If it's really important to make eye contact, I focus on the person's chest or mouth, which sometimes makes them think I'm making eye contact. Which is close enough.

If I get very frustrated or angry with someone, I will sometimes revert to a forceful, fixed stare, as if I am trying to "battering ram" my perspective into them, or somehow force them to listen by looking at them. I don't maintain it for long.

Edit:

MJIthewriter wrote:
That is unless I am extrememly pissed off, then you can expect a direct stare, with minimal blinking... This is a rather deliberate stare and I don't do it often because it is painful. In such a case I hope to transfer some of that pain and anxiety to the person I am staring at.
To put it bluntly, if I am making eye contact with you... that isn't a good sign.


WELL PUT.



Last edited by Jeyradan on 28 Mar 2008, 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

darkstone100
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28 Mar 2008, 2:19 pm

normally when I talk to people(strangers or people I've met only a couple of times) I'll stare over their shoulder or not face them when I'm talking to them.



MJIthewriter
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28 Mar 2008, 2:35 pm

For me direct eye contact feels like having a lazar pointer shined into my eyes. Ouch.
I don't do eye contact. If I accidentally glance into your eyes, good. As soon as I notice, I look away. The closest I get to normal eye contact is to look at someone's face with my eyes unfocused.

That is unless I am extrememly pissed off, then you can expect a direct stare, with minimal blinking... This is a rather deliberate stare and I don't do it often because it is painful. In such a case I hope to transfer some of that pain and anxiety to the person I am staring at.

To put it bluntly, if I am making eye contact with you, I mean actually staring into your pupil and not the corner of your eye or your nose, etc, that isn't a good sign.

Now if I can get that message through some people's thick skulls, maybe we can go somewhere.



Elovic
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28 Mar 2008, 3:05 pm

I've been told I make very good eye contact. But I don't like it too much, only when I feel very comfortable or if I want attention from someone. For me looking someone in the eye really means something, but for most it doesn't. When I was little kinder garten teachers locked me into a room with them and they were telling me I wouldn't make eye contact cos I was guilty (of something) while I was crying and wanting to leave, they were two on one, staring at me!


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tybald
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28 Mar 2008, 4:06 pm

Yeah my eye contact's terrible. I tend to look at someone's face at best if I'm talking to them but usually at objects in the room etc.



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28 Mar 2008, 4:44 pm

Danielismyname wrote:
I'll tell you what I find extremely rude, people who hold your chin and try to force your head up when they stand in front of you to make eye contact; an auntie did such to me the other month. Naturally, she couldn't move my head.


8O

If someone did that to one of my kids I'd be extremely tempted to practice my Taekwondo on them!

Helen



Jamie06
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28 Mar 2008, 7:28 pm

I can hold it for a little bit, although I have my moments where I need to blink or look away for 1 sec and then look back again.



loske
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28 Mar 2008, 7:31 pm

I will never forget when I was in high school a teacher that I really liked and admired yelled at me for not making eye contact. 10years later and it still crosses my mind almost every time I'm face to face with someone. I never knew it was an unusual before that.



RohrbachDS
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28 Mar 2008, 7:35 pm

I'm pretty much horrible with eye contact. I would rather look anywhere else then in a person's eyes. I think this is why my mom always thought (and still thinks sometimes) that I am lying; because I cannot look her in the eye when I tell her things.



Tantybi
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28 Mar 2008, 9:54 pm

I generally look at people's mouths when they talk because that's where the noise comes out. It would be more logical to do that than the eye thing, so I don't know what idiot decided we have to make eye contact when we are talking and listening to people (probably was the same idiot that decided certain words are cuss words). When I do make eye contact in a conversation, it seems to intimidate, so I save that for special occasions (like basic training). From a distance, I purposely avoid making eye contact cause guys then think I'm trying to hit on them if I do.

I will say the cool thing at looking at mouths is that you start to learn how to read lips a little. Like if I'm in a noisy place, I can't understand someone unless I see their mouths move and hear a little of what they are saying. I really wish I was so good at reading lips that I could watch people from a distance and know exactly what they are saying.

Oh, and one thing I noticed lately, if I do try to make eye contact when I don't really want to, I end up staring I think. I'm not sure what everyone means by staring, but it's like the person blurrs, and I've always wondered if they notice (that I'm not really looking at them).



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28 Mar 2008, 10:28 pm

its too painful. when i used to look at people i'd see the terminator under there skin. i dont know if i actually saw this but the sensations of looking at someone in the face was that real


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527
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28 Mar 2008, 10:46 pm

Age1600 wrote:
I must say my eye contact consists of either, no eye contact at all, or I stare lol. I've had many nts literally give me no eye contact because I just stare at them haha.


Haha, I'm pretty much the same way. Sometimes when I'm talking to someone I'll focus so hard on trying to keep eye contact that I just end up blankly starting at them.



Brittany2907
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29 Mar 2008, 12:41 am

My eye contact is not the best, but better than it was 2 years ago.
I force myself to look at peoples eyes even though it's uncomfortable, as I know now, that's what is expected. Although I do still have people telling me to look at them on occassion, which I dislike!

I have vivid memories of my kindergarden teacher saying to me..."Look at me when i'm talking to you,"....."Look at me when you ask me that,". etc
That's what a lot of my kindergarden memories are. Although I have memories of my mother saying to me..."stop staring, it's rude,"...as well. :lol:


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Brandon-J
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29 Mar 2008, 3:17 am

I think I do all of the above. When I don't feel like talking I tend to not make good eye contact. When I'm interested in what they are saying I make good eye contact. And when they're talking and I am lost and don't know what they are talking about I tend to stare and just nod my head.