OCD?

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I am exactly like that. What's even worse for me is leaving the house. Sometimes I'm halfway to my destination and then have to go back to make sure I locked the door. I hate it. I am diagnosed with OCD and have more things too... Are your problems limited to what you wrote?

There are a few others, just small things like having to wind the cuckoo clock up each time I'm in that room and each time I pass it even if I've just done it.
When I first started to learn my times tables at school, I would say them in my head each night when I went to bed. I would do it to a rhythm, up to my 20 times table but if I made a mistake or broke out of rhythm, I would start again with my one times table.
Or I would look at the digital clock and wait until the start of a new minute and then count in my head, the following ten minutes. I would open my eyes at the end of each minute and if I wasn't exactly right, to the second, I'd start again.
Or I'd think of ten boys'/girls' names/animals beginning with each letter of the alphabet, stuff like that.
This carried on until a couple of years ago when I got very ill and wasn't able to think very much at all.
Since then, even though I am much healthier now, I have managed to not have a night time ritual/game in my head. Does this mean that I can't have OCD because I would have just resumed the games again otherwise? My compulsions now don't amount to an hour a day, I don't think.

I'm sure it might have been OCD that caused your little quirks prior to your illness. I guess it's fair to say the illness made it go away since you couldn't focus on it, but I also think OCD changes over time naturally. Looking back 15 years or so I can see how my own OCD has changed. Some things I had as a kid are now gone and different ones have taken their place. I think whatever caused you to count and repeat things in your head is the same thing that now is causing you those other things. I'm glad you're healthier now and if your compulsions take up less than an hour a day it's not that bad! I guess maybe you are borderline OCD?

A question: Do you have any interests that you can keep on doing for hours and hours on end?

hehe, I'm probably the most OCD person you've met. >.> some of my little "rituals" can range from dangerous to just silly.

I'll only give you one example, because I'm a little embarassed, but I can NOT flip a light switch unless I'm standing on one foot with my eyes closed >.>"

Seth36,

It sure sounds like you have OCD. Constantly washing your hands (for no real reason) is a very strong sign. I have my battles with this myself. I also recognize the thing about working like crazy on something until it's absolutely perfect. Anyway, a lot of people with OCD have a thing for patterns and symmetry. Everything must be done a certain way or else it feels wrong. Being particular and thorough is great to a certain extent, but when you check to see if the door is locked for the 15th time, something clearly is wrong. Or in your case working for 38 hours straight to get it just right...

Anyway. Are you familiar with cognitive behavioral therapy? I am going though this right now. It's basically an attempt to reprogram the brain. Here's a simple example:

1. You get the urge to wash your hands even though they're clean.
2. You resist this urge.
3. As a result of resisting, you feel absolutely horrible. You panic.
4. (This is the tricky part!) If you can resist the urge to wash your hands long enough it will slowly die. That horrible feeling goes away as the brain realizes it was a false alarm.
5. You can resume your day...

So by doing this over and over again and making it to step 5, you are actually slowly reprogramming your brain to accept things it couldn't before.

I've been doing this for about 6 months and have made some improvements. But it is very hard. I fail many times and give in to whatever I have to do to feel safe again. My doctor suggested I should have medication (SSRI) along with the therapy but I declined because I want to see how much I can better the situation all by myself first. I will turn to meds as a last resort only.

CBT might not work for everybody but I think you should check it out in depth in case you haven't already!

Thanks for your replies
Yes, I'm online pretty much all the time I'm awake, except for when I cook or go out for a little walk. One time my internet went down and I was an absolute mess. I do spend hours everyday looking at t shirts online and I'd hate it if I wasn't able to but I just put that down to an AS obsession. I also talk about t shirts to anyone that will listen lol..
Oh, I also have a compulsion to eat but I have managed to turn it around so I'm now eating as little as I can get away with, healthily. I have lost 10 stone/140 pounds in 9 months, I've never thought of these things as maybe being down to OCD but now I don't know..

Thanks for the respon, yes I've heard of CBT, I', trying to get into some councelling/therapy at the moment so I'm hopying to explore that route once the NHS do the impossible and remember to actual atttempt to do something, whether they succeed or not i another matter, personally id be impressed if they even tried.