Does anyone here have depersonalization disorder?
I was raised a Christian and that caused me some problems too. When your told that there is a deity that can hear your thoughts and you pray to him that way, you tend to create another personality in your head that you always talk to. And yes, I took the Bible way too seriously!
Hey, I get that too! It happens when I have to hold my attention on something, usually in a social setting.
I believe that I can relate to this although I don't think I could put it into words...
EDIT:
From wiki regarding depersonalization disorder -
"The core symptom of depersonalization disorder is the subjective experience of unreality. Common descriptions are: watching oneself from a distance; out-of-body experiences; a sense of just going through the motions; feeling as though one is in a dream or movie; not feeling in control of one's speech or physical movements; and feeling detached from one's own thoughts or emotions.[3] These experiences may cause a person to feel uneasy or anxious since they strike at the core of a person's identity...
An analogy is comparing real life to a game, a game everyone plays, all the time. Someone suffering from depersonalization disorder constantly feels as if they cannot get into the game; any stimulus feels contrived or artificial to them. The rules of this game seem to have been forcibly applied upon them (anything from movement, to gravity or hunger) instead of being inherently applicable to them. If understanding dawns upon them of what they should be experiencing, it is often through reason and observation, or the feeling of knowing what and why it is happening. This sort of insight seems to rob everything of its spontaneity, its importance already having been diminished because of their sense of detachment. They are perpetual, and almost all the time, involuntary, cynics of our reality."
If I could have put it into words it would be something like that.
I would like to say that I no longer do such a thing. It's effects were only temporary anyway. The thing that I am trying now is to reduce my anxiety and to stop myself from always escaping into my own little world. I have noticed that I daydream way too much. So much so that it can be hard for me to follow a conversation and dangerous to drive. I think that I use daydreaming to escape the unpleasant aspects of reality.
So to recap I am making reality more pleasant (reducing my anxiety), and I am stopping myself from running from reality(cutting down on the daydreaming).
Ive never been dx'ed with this but have been dx'ed with several personality disorders, and psychosises, which could cause depersonalization symptoms. I do feel like im in a game and everything has always seemed very unreal. I know i dont have ptsd because ive never expierenced what i would concider trauma. I dont have much emotions and am unaware of the few i do have, although i can have random outbursts of anger. unlike most aspies i dont really have any anxiety or emotions. The only think i am usually aware of feeling is anger when other people show emotion. I feel absoulately nothing when i am severly dissociated and most of the time. Sometimes i feel controled by other entieties physical, and non physical. I dont have blackouts like most people with dissociative disorders. People tell me i appear to have no personality or feelings. These symptoms have always been present so i think their neurological. any ideas what could cause this?
BellaDonna,
There is another thread on depersonalization that you have yet to comment on, www.wrongplanet.net/postt81490.html .
[Edit: Sorry, wrong link earlier. Fixed it. Was not paying attention, heh.]