Why do I feel inferior to everyone else?

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I can relate to this. Especially in your late 20's/early 30's it becomes apparent what I look like to the rest of my peers. I went to my 10yr school reunion but think I'll skip the next one. I have a job and live on my own. Of all my siblings and couzins I'm the only one unmarried - had a relationship though.

In this country everything gets measured in terms of material possessions (the have and the have-nots). I belong to the so-called historically advantaged group and when people don't see me accumulating the house, family, etc by now, they wonder "what's your excuse?"

Lately I've been realising I'm at a crossroad - either put all energy in getting these things (very frustrating, coz I really dn't think trying to be like every-one else will guarentee my happiness) or embrace a solitary existance (quitting my job and become an artist). Both options are equally scary, but it's that or being uncomfortable in a current comfort zone till who knows when

In some ways I think I have achieved a lot. I have a husband, a degree, a house, a job, my pets and my hobbies.
However sometimes I look at people my age ( or younger) and they seem to have brilliant careers, new houses
and seem so much happier. I see people at work who get ahead simply because they know the right people, and their verbal skills are such that they say the right thing at the right time. They might be hopeless at their job, but nobody notices.

However, I think squirrel has hit the nail on the head. I wish I had worked it out at your age.

Other people have their own set of problems. The marvellous house they had to sell because they couldn't make the repayments, the spouse they never see because they are always working,kids that give them troubles.
Sometimes you just have to make yourself happy, and forget what everyone else thinks.

I have a strong tendency to listen to siren voices (metaphorically speaking) which would persuade me that I am inferior to everyone else, but I have decided not to succumb to them. I know that these thoughts and feelings of inferiority are only in my head; they do not describe what is real. Comparing myself to other people is a waste of time and of no benefit to me. I am not inferior or superior to other people.

There are lots of people that I went to school with that seem to have brilliant lives and great jobs that they have had for a long time. Meanwhile, I've travelled alot. Lived in many countries, done brilliant and interesting things that my classmates haven't done.

After almost 25 years, it really looks like to me that they are living shadows of what they were in high school. I've grown so far past that. Most people are just now settling down and having kids. Mine is a teenager and I still really enjoy him. We kind of grew up together in a way. But we have done so much. I've had lots of jobs and some of them were even interesting.

About the only thing that truly bothers me is that I'm almost 40 and I don't have any savings to show for it. I have no retirement. I'm sure that I'll be working until I'm dead at a desk.

Otherwise, there are no regrets. I've done things that no one else I know has done. My son is almost grown and I will still be young enough to enjoy my grandchildren. Emotionally that's a good place to be. So, how does it add up?

I have to add it up for myself and not in comparison to others. You can't put yourself on someone else's tally board. I just try to look at what I've gotten accomplished. I try to look at the things that make me feel successful. I can't worry about how I look in other's eyes.

It's no ones right to make you feel this way, it's a shame when you get into that state... sometimes I do. I seem to blow hot and cold though, many is the time when I can fend off those attackers, but there's lots of times when I am more likely to wallow in self pity.

Yeah, it's pretty horrible when people do that to you.

And I guess sometimes lack of confidence hits us hard and we can do it to ourselves, with our thoughts backed up by the possibility of those around us having better lives. I slowly become aggressive when I feel this way around people.

you just have to be brave and live YOUR OWN LIFE, not live according to some textbook

ditto. however, my problem doesn't stem from comparing myself to other people's accomplishments (i do do it sometimes, but it's often to a specific person and not to society as a whole).

my problem is that i feel inferior to what i COULD HAVE accomplished by now. i have done alot. 3 college degrees, spectacular job, and in OK shape...but i could have had a masters, had a better job, been in better shape, had better relationships if i had only [insert accomplishment here]. the restrictions that AS puts on me sometimes makes me feel lazy, which just feeds the inferiority flame.

I think the question that you should be asking yourself is "Why aren't my accomplishments good enough for me?"

What universe do you live in that 3 master's degrees are not good enough?

I could beat myself up, too. I only have a Bachelor's in Education. I only have an okay job. I only have a great husband who actually gets it every once in a while. I do beat myself up, alot. But you have to accept what you've done as great. You have to be okay with what's been done in your life.

LOL. 3 BA's, not 3 master's. even i didn't like school THAT much.

but i get what you are saying, really i do. but that's my thinking part. my feeling part doesn't.

One reason i feel inferior is: for NTs it is so much easier to get into relationships. For me I am 34 yrs old and never hadd a girl friend. When i see other people my age that do, i feel like
@#$%^&. Im just really shy around those im attracted to. It also hard to do small talk because my social skills are so bad.

Ladies please help! I know there are other like me here.

I have felt inferor to people especially if I am scared of them or have felt threaten.
I wish my life was different. Most of the people I graduated with from HS are married and have children. And have real careers.
I have had boyfriends and I did get a two year degree from college. And I have gone on fun trips.
I have a descent job.

i sometimes think that i should go to a high school reunion or college reunion and apoligize for the way i was. Does that sound silly? i just have things i need to tell them so i can be at peace and go on with my life.

Im sure there lives are so much better than mine.

Occasionally I have felt a sense of inferiority, but more often simply a sense of being out of phase, an ulterior being - neither superior or inferior being - with a different path and timeline that the rest. That's not DX specific, but as one who recognizes so many spectrum-specific tendencies in myself it may be relevant.


M.

I'm younger than you, so I probably have a different outlook, but I thought I might be able to say something useful. I've had 3 relationships - one where the other person only wanted to be around someone emotionally a mess, so they could be cruel and make themselves feel superior. I felt awful, but thought no one else would ever like me, so I stayed for years. They eventually dumped me.
The next was a rebound - the other person thought I looked good, and I didn't want to be alone. They left one day and wouldn't say why - I felt heartbroken and used - it had only been shallow and shortlived, but I was too wrapped up in my fantasy to have realised.
And the third where the other person felt sorry for me and the huge crush I had on them and so said they'd be with me, but we never talked - ever time I saw them I was so anxious that we never really got to know each other and soon broke up.

I admit its nice to have tried it, so that I know firsthand how pointless it is just to be with someone for the sake of it.. but it is pointless - worse than being alone. I'm now happy to wait, and I'm hopeful that someone nice will show up, but I'll also be okay if no one does.

I'm also pretty sure that lots of people, maybe even the majority, are in relationships that make them miserable just because they don't want to be alone. Most people don't have happiness and love - it's a sham.

So you're doing what I wish I'd done, and what I plan to do - be by yourself and not play into the sham. I have the same problems with small talk and talking to people I'm attracted to, so I have no idea how I would meet anyone I'd want to date - but I can dream

I feel very inferior sometimes, but I remind myself that the lives and careers my friends have are lives I really wouldn't want.

I'm slightly autistic and very depressed, which makes it difficult to hold down a regular job. I tried office work for a while, but I would sit there feeling all alone in a room full of chatting people (an emotion I hate far more than actually being alone), and thinking the work was all farcically silly and pointless. I'd rather have no job than be making money with a conventional business, because I know I would spend my life bored.

I don't have a boyfriend right now either, but I'd rather have no one than have someone who is wrong for me. And most people are wrong for me. They don't get depression and they tell me to just get over it, or to stop taking pills because the drugs are the real problem. I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't have the patience to deal with it... or someone who doesn't share my offbeat interests, for that matter. My friends are in relationships that may work for them but would be terrible for me.

i can't help but feel inferior to everyone else....
i think that everyone chatting around me is talking me down. or i just feel like s*&t because they have done things and i haven't.