Do aspies tend to become more neurotypical as they age?

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I think some aspies are able to adapt themselves to some level, intellectually grasping concepts that come naturally to most NTs; not that they become more NT.

My obsessions are not nearly as intense as they used to be. A lot of my more NT like behavior is really just mimicing things I've learned over the years. There are times when you just have to do those things. When you get older people tend not have the rigid expectations of you that they do for someone in their teens or 20's. I've also reached a point where I really don't care what other people think so I don't make much of an effort to fit in like I used to.

No surprise that people with AS develop coping skills with age...the ones that don't end up killing themselves or starving to death, or some find out side assitence to fill the gap(family or social services).

What I have experienced is that the more stressed I am the lower my function level. I can do quit well up to a point but when life gives me more challenges then I can deal with, the lower my ability to function in other areas of my life. I try and design my life to accomidate to this...a coping skill in it's own right. But the more NT expectations are piled ontp me the less well I function as a whole. That pretty much confuses and frustrates the NT's around me who say..."you used to be able to do that so you must be "faking" this inability now"...no amount of logic will discourage their belief in something that they want to believe..."nothing is wrong that you can't fix yourself by trying harder"...that is about when I have to spend all my energy in not banging my head against the nearest wall"..not that they will give me any credit for "not doing" what they can't experience the urge to do.

I have broached this subject with my father recently. I believe he is a tried and true aspie, but he only scored mid-way on the typical aspie test. I suggested perhaps that as he has gotten older and noticed certain behavioral patterns (or witnessed the reactions of others) he has corrected for them.

Along this vein of thought is the fact that the past few aspie tests I have taken ask if I do certain things - and I don't - but I USED to. I have since corrected myself. For example, I no longer give long-winded diatribes about my favorite subjects to bored listeners because I realized that nobody really gives two rats asses. That sort of thing.

So, I do wish that on those tests there was an option "Used to do this" as opposed to Yes or No. Because had I not realized I was correcting, I would have just marked "no - I don't give long-winded speeches about my favorite subjects" and not thought twice about it in the interest of being honest.

The process is imperfect.

This is an important point. When I went for the DX the psychologist stressed that he was not just asking about the present but what I was like as a kid. The assumption is there that we do adopt ways t appear NT and also learn to supress AS traits (usually by being punsished for expressing them),as with other punishing memories...we can smoetimes block these out,(one reason some psychologist,especially in Europe, don't DX adults without input from adults who knew us as kids). The only problem with "this" is when your parents are more indenial then you are and have "changed" their memories to match their own biases..like not recalling you avoiding social contact but "being selfish". Not being able to do some basic tasks but being,"lazy,stubborn,attention seeking or overly emotional".

ANyway, the DX is supposed to be based more on childhood then adulthood. They also want to know that the traits are ones that you were born with and not that developed do to psychological factors or chemical inbalances that effect more adults then children.

I'd say aspies become better at tasks which trouble them if they actively try to or are put into situations that force them to. Of course this takes time. And maybe to a smaller degree just from daily experience. Aspie traits may be a different story. Since I started reading WP I've been stimming more I think (not that I stim much). I think that on some level I feel less weird about it, like I'm allowed to. Or maybe I'm just more aware of it, that's a possibility too.

I don't think I've 'become' more NT as I've gotten older. In fact, for me, it's quite the opposite. Behaviors that I'd learned to mask or otherwise suppress when I was younger are harder and harder to control nowadays. I blame it on my health problems and the fact that I'm going though some extremes in my life right now. I find myself slipping into AS behavior (hand flapping, hair twirling, talking non-stop. getting angry/anxious about stupid stuff, etc) at work or in front of people I don't know. Time was I could force myself to shut up and sit still. No longer. Problem is, I guess, that the older I get, the less I care about appearing 'normal.' Tired of trying. Why fight it?

Nah it's prolly that we learn how to "Act" normal better and better socialize as we age.

I was more aspie when I was a kid but I am less now. Lot of aspies learn to adapt and some of them even outgrow the condition. I'm sure they still have a few traits but don't lot of people do to an extent. Heck there are NTs out there who have acute hearing or sense of smell. There are NTs who don't like florescent lights for the same reason aspies don't like them. And lot of people aren't good with small talk my mother told me and other people lack empathy too and have problems putting themselves in other peoples shoes.

I think there must be a lot of individual variation here. Quite a few aspie's report being able to learn to imitate social skills. I wish I could, but I ain't never been able to learn nothing of that stuff. Like, this is the best thing I can come up with to do on a friday night.

Guess I've learned not to even attempt to talk to people, but I'm not sure I'd consider that an accomplishment.

I don't want to become boring and self-centred, like them, either.

Yes.

I have definitely learned to look more neurotypical but as others have said, I care less about it, my only concern is to stay out of danger by not attracting attention from the wrong kind of people.

There is indeed individual variation here! I think, had the diagnosis even existed when I was a kid, that I might have been diagnosed in the early 1950's. By adolescence (1960's), I'd learned to adapt and it wasn't readily apparent. At the age of 40, I blended in well (but still knew I was different). However I had a brain aneurysm then, resulting in a stroke in the cerebellum. It seems that the damage wiped out much of my ability to cover up the AS. In my late 40's and 50's I have become somewhat more strongly AS. It is interesting that those close to me think I've "changed", but after getting the diagnosis, I realize that I actually have become really more like my original self. I have less success blending in, but I find that being a crazy old lady is an actual role in society, so I worry about it a lot less.

Anna

Very interesting topic and thread. Interestingly I have had CBT 2hrs daily for the last 3yrs. Sounds a lot I know BUT my Theory of Mind has accelerated hugely. I am although obviously loud gobby and deffo ADHD I am now much more aware of MYSELF and therefore aware of others. My attitude since aquiring learned ToM has changed beyond all recognition.

But had I not had the amount of CBT that I have had then I would still be as Aspie as I was before. Now I am often mistaken for a neuotypical as I have empathy.

It would be interesting too to see the results of a Connors test PRE and POST Ritalin! Pre and Post Theory of Mind. Mmmmm you got me thinking now!

Those of us who can be mistaken for NTs are the ones who have memorized the appropriate responses for most of the situations they commonly encounter in their life, after many years of practice and trial and error. I don't think we ever truly become NTs. I think we just get better at faking it.