How long can you pass for "normal"?

Post Reply New Topic

Deacon, is it in how you speak or in the thoughts you express?

Ah gotcha! Well, I learned to do hand and arm movements and am quite expressive at times though get me when I am more myself and it all starts disappearing! I don't slur and as far as I know my hand movements are normal but its as much about how we relate as the more obvious things. Eye contact and non-contact can be quite telling, though even there, some fake it very well.


How long? hard to say since all situations have been unique, but usually within a day or two if its a lot of contact. Its just tiny little things that begin to show, like hesitations when replying to things; zoning out in the wrong places, missing the point by taking something literally.

The thing is although I now have the ability to pick up these clues after the fact, I cannot change them when they happen. So I think if you analysed yourself in situations you would probably notice little aspie things here and there.

Is that a bit more helpful?

I'm never sure what gives me away first. The fact that I hardly speak at all while everyone else is jabbering, or the fact that when I do speak, I frequently use words no one else in the room is familiar with.
That, and the nearly constant stimming.

On the other hand, I try to look for occupations that only attract, smart, creative eccentric type coworkers. Dull, stupid people annoy me to death and I have a hard time hiding that. It takes too much effort and energy to dumb everything down so they can understand it. It's not intentional snobbery, really. How do you explain to someone "Your lack of comprehension makes me tired."?

Yes, I guess I'm probably more like Kaleido and Willard. Which is hard, because by the time people start noticing I'm different, they were already expecting me to sort of continue being "normal", so that's where people are the least understanding and compassionate. It often seems like they feel cheated, like I'm taking the piss on them or something like that.

I appear normal to normal people until I try to converse with them. But of course I want to talk with people more, so I have a problem.

Maybe those people are in the videos because they are more noticable compared to aspies in general.

How long can I pass for "normal"?
As long as I keep my mouth shut.

I can pass for normal... well, NT anyway, for up to a couple months. Basically as long as I keep a job

I know I have never been able to maintain eye contact, but when its pretty well required, I stare at like, someones forehead, or if I'm feeling really brave, the corners of their eyes. And I flick my eyes back and forth because I've seen lots of NT's do that.

But that only works for jobs. Friends and family and people I spend a lot of time with notice right away.

even if i keep my mouth shut i don't sometimes pass of as normal. at my after-achool job, wich was giving out samples of all sorts of things in malls, i've been mistaken for a mannequin a couple of times
when people are not near and i've got nothing to do, then i just don't move stand still and think. it's thought to be wierd

Online in forums, I can pass in most respects except for missing certain social conventions and misunderstanding language and the usual. Unless I can't do language at that point, or do it well, and that only shows if I try to use it.

In realtime chats, I can pass sometimes, but if a person forces me or tries to force me to handle language beyond a certain rate then it shows up.

Offline, I don't pass, unless I am passing as some other kind of disabled. I used to pass well for some combination of "weird for the heck of it" and "crazy," but those days are gone.

At my job, I think I was able to pass off being relatively normal for about a month before I was called weird (no outside of work interaction, but I did eat lunch with my co-workers alot, and we talked some during work). My roommate in college said he realized I was weird about a week after we moved in the dorm (personally, I thought I was able to pass off a little bit longer than that).

Well, I haven't been formally diagnosed, but my current health care provider (without knowing any of my childhood history!) said she had me pegged for an Aspy the minute she first saw me. (I was the one who brought up the subject). I am still undecided about getting a diagnosis, I have heard all kinds of arguments pro and con. In some respects it really doesn't matter and in other respects it would answer a lot of questions and explain a lot of things.

As far as "passing" for normal, ok, if you met me and you didn't really know a lot about Aspergers or your idea of Aspergers was something like Rain Main, then no, there might not be any outward signs at first. Apparently there are, however, and I am only becoming aware of what they are. I know that there are people I get along with real well and who accept me as one of them, and then there are people who seem to think it is their duty to go out of their way to let me know that I am not one of them. How well I can pass depends on the situation. For example, I can pass pretty well at work because it is a task-oriented situation as opposed to a social situation. I have also gotten better at blending in and faking it over the years, but there are still times when the "difference" comes out and it is usually not met with kindness and understanding. As a result of several decades of this sort of treatment I pretty much keep to myself. Better to be thought standoffish or shy than to be thought weird. Because weird isn't human. Weird isn't entitled to respect. But passing for normal does cause a lot of strain, it takes a lot of energy, you have to constantly self-monitor every little thing, because you never know. AND--you cannot associate with anyone else who is openly or suspected to be handicapped. In this way it is sort of like a black person who passes for white, as long as they are in the white world they can nore or less get away with it, but let them be seen around other blacks, and the secret is out. It's sad, and I am not proud of it, but it is something I have to do for my own survival.

At my job I passed for normal for a couple months then word spreaded out that I was "crazy" or "didn't have it all"

p.s. the keeping your mouth shut thing does not work. People will call you all type of things just for not saying anything to them.

this is a funny thread--interesting how you feel others perceive you. I often think in these regards with my son--how long will he last kind of thing. Awful and funny at the same time--looks normal, smells normal, dresses normal--but wait--there's somthing amiss when he speaks a bit too loudly and forcefully and boastfully and out of context. LOL.

I have no diagnosis, but, regardless on some levels, I can relate as I often feel this way about myself. Upon first glance I give off this certain impression and then bam I say something or rub someone the wrong way and only the brave of heart stick by me.

So, I tend to think--Okay, how long will it take before they figure me out. Teaching lends itself to a sort of oddity which is more accepted believe it or not. The kids have more patience and an excellent sense of humor which helps (hs kids anyway). As for colleageus, some just keep coming back-- the odd ones, similar to me, keep coming around. The rest are polite but seem to keep their distance as if I might bite them or something. Then, I think maybe that's just my warped perception--maybe it's me that pushes people away. I don't like to be bothered and only accept certain people into my life. It's just the way I am. If you have something important to say and care to listen to my bantering too I'm game. Otherwise, stay away.

equinn

For only 2 seconds. That's about it. I ain't normal by any means.

I'm not sure. I imagine it's a fairly short amount of time. I stim a lot and just have some odd tendencies, like my facial expressions changing with my thoughts and looking at the wall while talking to a new acquaintance.

talking about normal,i passed for normal for nearly 23+ years and then all hell broke loose.