Phones

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I actually prefer answering machines.
If I have something to say to someone, I prefer to leave a message, than become engaged in conversation over the phone. OK, I'm weird. So what else is new?

Answering machines, voice mail - I forgot about those devils! I have never recorded my voice on them before first trying to contact the live person several times. In most cases I hung up when I hear the dreaded beep. If circumstances require otherwise, I never know what to say, and even when I manage to utter a few words, I invariably come to a stop which results in a long pause. It is safe to say that have left no more than 20 messages in my whole life.

I absolutely detest talking on phones. I will talk to my parents and even call them if I know they are the ones that will answer. Of course I live with them so that only happens when they are working I only recall leaving one or two voice mail/answering machine message in my life and they were for my dad.

On a bit of a tangent, my parents used to live a couple of states away. For quite a while we corresponded by email - I actually learnt a lot more about them through email than I had living with them as a child. They have moved up to live near me now, and it came as a great shock the day I sent an email to my dad and he rang me up, instead of mailing back a reply... I was very comfortable with the email communication, and very disapointed to discover I had to revert back to phone calls.... I think this is an example of what they call a dysfunctional family?

I LOVE the internet - I can almost live without any other form of communication - when my phone line was down for two days I about freaked out . . .
Most people know that they can call me if they want, but the best way to talk to me is online . . .

All of you people who hate phones would just die with my job - I have a little ear bud in all the time and whenever someone calls me it buzzes really loud in my ear! I don't like that part much . . . it wakes me up when my brain turns off, though . . .

I leave the phone at my house with the ringer off almost all the time - if someone important calls they will show up on my caller ID, otherwise I don't want to talk to them . . .

but the hard part is trying to explain to people why talking online is so much easier, and that if i want to get to know a person well, i will have to use MSN because its just so much more easy-flowing on msn than it would ever be in speech where i am constantly stuttering trying to form opinions on movies and films and..its just so much easier with nonverbal communication.

Exactly, I had that experience with one of the people I like to be around - I got put on some new meds and had a really hard time driving so I stayed home from work and I started e-mailing her to tell her how I was doing and she said 'You are a different person online!' and I e-mailed back and said 'I'm a real person online . . .'

But, yeah, people don't understand that online you can say whatever you want to say because there are NO social cues to interpret . . .

Interestingly, by the way, at work I frequently close my eyes to listen really good to a call - I can touch type, so it doesn't effect my ability to enter information . . . drives my coworkers nuts, though . . .

Ah, I wish it were so easy! At least, it is not for me. Even in my written communication people try to find hidden meanings that I do not put there. I once spent half an hour composing a five-line email, trying to make it as polite as possible, and that same email was then shown to me as an example of my rude demeanor!


If I need to concentrate on what the caller is saying - closing eyes helps tremendously. That is even more so if I do not wear my glasses during the conversation. Glasses make me hear better, in addition to the obvious enhancement of eyesight.

Who doesn't like the sound their phone makes when it rings?

Last edited by larsenjw92286 on 26 Sep 2004, 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Very good topic !
Yes, I agree with the most of you: though I know how to keep a conversation even in difficult situations (people I don't know or I've not been seeing for a long tine) I don't like answering at the phone: it is still a big stress for me.
I have two systems to "protect" myself: at home I leave my wife answer and if I understand they are looking for me I make her signs to say I'm not at home ( I'm a bloody lier!! )
At work I check the caller from the number showed on the phone monitor and if it is an unpleasant one I don't answer, waiting for its e-mail...

Magic - that is true about people finding hidden meanings sometimes - but they are easier to explain away i.e. 'I didn't mean it that way - sorry, I used the wrong words - I got to typing too fast . . .' - and there is no nervousness - you can change what you said at your own pace - whereas backpeddling in a conversation is much harder . . . you have to think fast, which I can't do, in person, at least . . .

I get really anxious and nervous when using the phone. I can never find the right words to say. My preferred mode of communication is by email.

Answering the phone is not a problem for me. However, I do become nervous whenever I have to call somebody other than my parents or my aunt.

Whenever I have to use the phone my mother and I write out a script so I'll know exactly what to say. We've been using this method since I was about twelve (I'm seventeen now).

I always feel really lucky when I get an answering machine or computer instead of a person. Eases the stress!

The thing with phones for me is that I don't mind answering them, but i hate making phone calls. First of all, i always forget what to say and i talk really fast when i make the calls. If i have to make a call i would rather talk to the actual person instead of talking to a machine. But yeah, i seriously don't like making phone calls.

One Aspergian recently mentioned leaving his mobile phone on a train and I was shocked: ; I never imagined an Aspie would have one!

I don't understand why phones get priority; you're standing in line for a drivers licence change of address, say, and the guy dealing with real people gets a phone call, so everything's put on hold while he deals with the enquiry of someone who's comfortably at home, or at his office desk, who can get on with other things while they wait for their case to be dealt with, whilst those who took the trouble to turn up in person, and so could do nothing more than twiddle their thumbs while they wait their turn are expected to just stand there...

In the meantime, others at the back of the office, plonking away at their keyboards, are not expected to answer phones?

NT society; so reasonable, so rational!

i don't have a phone, saves a lot of trouble