Asperger and Bullying project

Page 2 of 2 [ 24 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Joined: 4 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 514

29 Apr 2008, 2:37 pm

I was bullied a lot in elementary school, but it wasn't because I was considered an "easy target" it's because one of my best friends happened to be a total coward. I was actually foced to stand up to the bullies for the both of us.

This friend will soon become my graduating classes valedictorian and make more money then everyone who picked on him put together. Gotta love the irony of it all, I hope he mentions it in his speech....

_________________
The improbable goal: Fear nothing, hate nothing, and let nothing anger you.

AngelUndercover
Velociraptor

Joined: 2 Dec 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 408
Location: somewhere else

29 Apr 2008, 3:08 pm

AwesomeAspiesMom wrote:

As the Mother of a 12 year old Aspie I am trying to help him sort through appropriate behaviors and dress and all sorts of things to help him fit in better but at times I feel like such a hypocrite because I personally think that he is such an awesome kid and God knows I don't want to change him but I find that in order to make his life tolerable that I have to help him conform to the norm that is accepted by everyday society. I feel like I'm giving him a mixed message because we always tell him how special he really is because he is different but then he has to try to be cookie cutter same almost to not be picked on.

As I've mentioned elsewhere, my parents found a good balance with this. They told me what I would need to do to fit in, and offered to help me do it if I wanted to. Most of the time I wasn't interested. I could have avoided some (though not, I believe, all) of the teasing I got, but to me it wasn't worth compromising my individuality. I think it's good to make kids aware of how to fit in, if they have trouble figuring out for themselves - but definitely don't force them to do it.

_________________
"I don't even know how to explain it, but this is not my dimension, and my mind is never at peace; it's always somewhere else." - Josh Groban, Alla Luce Del Sole

ignisfatuus
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 5 Feb 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 261
Location: Canada

30 Apr 2008, 1:26 am

Quote:

much of life's woes are pre-emptable

I realise you qualified your statement with "much", however I find this as an excuse for the majority to s**t on anyone who differs in the slightest. It's an extension of the "Just World" school of thought. My only "crime" in school was being quiet and I was teased and bullied mercilessly for this by students and staff alike. There is zero excuse for this behaviour.

As for preventing this type of behaviour, I fully recommend learning the rudiments of an effective martial art such as jiu jitsu and physically confronting those who see it as their right to prey on those they perceive as weaker in order to aggrandize their sense of self.

_________________
"The world is only as deep as we can see. This is why fools think themselves profound." - R. Scott Bakker, The Judging Eye

Felinity
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 2 Mar 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 182

30 Apr 2008, 1:35 am

Sounds like an admirable project. Hope it helps.

It's my guess, but I'm thinking that probably 99% of all people with Asperger's have been bullied in school and/or the workplace. Most people have no patience and/or think that bullying will "teach us a lesson"...

I wonder if anyone would respond to this question:

In your life, have you NEVER experienced being bullied in school or the workplace?

I somehow doubt anyone with Asperger's would respond to that one...

Anyway, Goodluck with your project It would be great if it could raise awareness and help people understand and have more patience.

Jkid
Velociraptor

Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 487
Location: College Park,MD

30 Apr 2008, 6:24 am

ignisfatuus wrote:

Quote:

much of life's woes are pre-emptable

I realise you qualified your statement with "much", however I find this as an excuse for the majority to sh** on anyone who differs in the slightest. It's an extension of the "Just World" school of thought. My only "crime" in school was being quiet and I was teased and bullied mercilessly for this by students and staff alike. There is zero excuse for this behaviour.

As for preventing this type of behaviour, I fully recommend learning the rudiments of an effective martial art such as jiu jitsu and physically confronting those who see it as their right to prey on those they perceive as weaker in order to aggrandize their sense of self.

The "crime" you described in school was being a introvert and an environment of extroverts. This is especially a high crime in high school were you are expected to date, go to parties, and lose your virginity. If you don't you may be perceived as gay or a loner.

As for martial arts, that advice seems to be useless in the face of zero-tolerance laws, because such laws protect perpetrators of peer harassment.

ManErg
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Apr 2006
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,090
Location: No Mans Land

01 May 2008, 6:03 pm

AwesomeAspiesMom wrote:

Oh, I'm aware of that and so is he, but it just pisses me off that society can't just accept us all for the differences that we all have. but I can understand...I sure look at people as a whole, alot differently now because of the difficulties that he faces everyday. Personal hardships do make you alot more aware and make you think differently when you see others who are a little different too.

He's very lucky to have a mother with such an enlightened attitude. There is a delicate balancing between 'compliance' and 'individuality'. As a parent, I struggle with this too. On the one hand you don't want your children to stand out in a way that gets them picked on, but then you worry that you're suppressing what could make them really shine. No easy answers.

_________________
Circular logic is correct because it is.

Batman1992
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 30 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 33

01 May 2008, 6:57 pm

I was bullied as a child and thought that this was normal behavoir (this was way before I was diagnosed). It wasn't until high school when I realized that it was really bullying.

PrisonerSix
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Jul 2004
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 689
Location: The Village

02 May 2008, 12:27 pm

slowmutant wrote:

A good way to avoid bullying in general is to figure out if there's anything Aspies can avoid saying/doing to draw the bully's ire. If some of it is untentional provocation, this should be addressed. If something I said or did made someone else angry, with no regard given to right or wrong, I need to know what it was.

As a kid my parents forced me to realize how my words & deeds could affect others. They scolded me if the fault was actually mine and not another's. It was not easy, but it was worth it. Social skills can make all the difference. I know because that's how I grew up.

But what about random bullying? you ask. Again, it's all about how the Aspie kid can interact and move withikn an existing social network. The herd is help. The herd is safety. Human beings' status as social creatures is crucial to survival.

Good points, but in my case, it wouldn't have worked. I went to multiple schools and was bullied in most of them. However, it wasn't for the same reasons in any of them. In one, I was bullied for not being athletic. In another, for not being the kind of kid who gets kicked out of his school. In another, for having too deep of a voice. In high school it was alot of things. It was never the same reasons, but I still got harassed.

The only way around it for me would have been to do a homestudy program for school, so I wouldn't have to interact with those idiots.

_________________
PrisonerSix

"I am not a number, I am a free man!"

Page 2 of 2 [ 24 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Jump to:

Asperger and Bullying project Post Reply New Topic

Asperger and Bullying project