Train conductor makes fun of me. How do I get him to stop?

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You could always sue his ass or file a report.

u sure u wanna use bat?

he could have aspergers? . then agian he is probably just one of those people no one likes.
i usualy find that people like that are some times trying to get to know me and its there only way of interaction, or he might just be a tosser,
which ever it is ignorance is a curse and education is the key. i seem to have developed a nack with dealing with people like that
and anger or revenge is not the way, you get what you give kalma will allways prevale. sit back and wait and remember ignorance is a curse
and kalma will take its course.

kalma? = reaper?

Research every law that you can use against him, and press charges for all of them.

In my town, the conductor's employee number is written up at the front of the vehicle. So I'd copy the number making sure he sees me do it. Not a word, not a threat. Just that.

If he continues after that, I'd report them to customer complaints.

At stores, what I do is just ask politely for the person's full name - first and last. They get the message that I'm gathering info to go complain, and stop it immediately. I don't need to argue, fight, explain how I'm feeling, plead for respect, nothing at all. A simple "Can I have your full name, please?", clean, polite question that stops the abuse.

Punch him in the face.

Here's what you do:
In a daring feat of bravery, swiftly swipe his conductor's hat, pull a pair of scissors from your pocket and firmly state your demands. If the conductor is truly fond of his hat, he'll do anything to save his cranial companion. If he appears apathetic to his headwear's peril, then you'll be forced to take action of the violent variety. Retreat your scissors to your pockets and hold the hat shoulder high. Take aim at his noggin and with a sharp flick of your wrist, send it on it's way, like a whirling dervish of frisbee-like doom.
Then you must go and heroically hide under a seat or in a storage compartment and observe the results from a far, all the while pondering your next move. If he is clearly traumatised by the event, emerge from your hiding place, stand tall and display your superiority, for victory is yours! However, if he's angered I suggest you bail out of the train at the earliest opportunity, come prepared and wear padding.
and if he doesn't wear a hat at all then you're just screwed, because a hatless conductor is never to be trusted, seek alternative conduction immediately.

Film him with the cell phone and make it to the news... he'll get exposed and fired... the news will kept you anonymous.