Would this offend you?

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No, it wouldn't offend me, although it would annoy me.

My mother and I both know that nothing I, or anyone else does will get rid of my AS. She once told me that she wished I didn't have AS, but I said to her that there's no point in wishing something that will never happen.

Nope, because sometimes I wish I didn't have Aspergers.

QFT.

Seriously, it's not like it means that they don't love me, or vice-versa. We're family.

But I want to address something that's come up in this thread; AS and personality.
I don't think that Aspergers is what my personality is. Think about it for a minute, and think on what it means to say that Aspergers is who you are. If who you are as a person, is only because you have Aspergers, wouldn't mean that "you" don't exist; Just Aspergers?
You don't have a personality, if Aspergers is your personality, right? The arguments made here about AS and who you are, put AS as being an integral part of your identity, and without it, you'd be an entirely different person. Therefore, if Aspergers really is so central in someone's personality, then who are they?

Sincerely, it disturbs me to think that my personality, who I am, is not because I am me, myself, but because I have Aspergers. That who I would have been was over-written, erased by Aspergers. Thus am I really who I am in the first place? And if I'm not, then why should I accept that Aspergers has changed who I am? Who was I, then?

I'm going to go do something to take my mind off of this.

Well it offends me when my family says it because they accept everyone else's oddities and disorders easily but when I have to come home from school or refuse to go out because of stims they bring up the old "I wish you didn't have autism" fight. I agree with Willard, if I didn't have it would I be the same? I highly doubt it.

It would depend on the context and what they meant by it.

I'd reply that i agree but hey not everyone is as lucky as the next person.
Being stuck in an NT world with asperger is causes alot of unwanted difficultys for you.
So they mean they wished you didn't have those and had a life as happy as the average person.
We can work as hard as we want for it, but on average our lifes won't be nearly as enjoyable.
Not that NT's don't have problems, but they seem to enjoy most things in life much more than us.
Like for instance going out to a club/bar is like heaven for them.
It might be alright for some of us when we're drunk, but we can't party and enjoy it like they do.
The same with hanging out and getting high, i can't enjoy it like they do.

I am not "a person with AS".
I am AS.

It's like comparing:
I am "a person with Irish". vs
I am Irish.

The first implies what you're saying - take away the AS and now I'm just a different person. The second is different. It says you can't take away the AS. It says that AS affects personality but does not change some original personality that was there beforehand.


"I am what I am and that's all that I am." - Popeye

That proberbly goes for alot of people here.
However i was extremely social as a kid, i talked way more and ran around way more than average.
People usually thought i had ADHD.
I wasn't diagnosed but i likely suffered from it til about age 9.
Those were the happyest days of my life, a good view of life without asperger.
During those days i had the average NT interests, and social urges.
So i can safely say AS isn't what my true personality is, but it's what AS turned me into.

I wonder if anyone else here has seen the gras on the other side as wel ?

I can relate to this. Until about age 10, I was indistinguishable from a normal kid. I played sports, did well in school, socialized with other kids and fit in. And yes, my personality started changing at that point. But whose doesn't? It's not like NT kids have static personalities that don't change during puberty.

I've never gotten this one, either. Why say they want something when they don't really? Especially when it's something that's easily within their grasp? I've learned to ignore people when they use the phrase "I wish I could," but I still don't understand it. Of course, sometimes ignoring it gets me in trouble, too, because I end up ignoring an honest request for help. Good luck with this one.

Patricia

Y'know, my mom and I had a discussion about that once. She said that she believes I would still have the same personality, but I'd be able to function better in the world. I agreed with her. It would be really nice to be able to make and keep friends, not want to stim, hold a job, live on my own, etc.

But on the other hand, God made me this way and He has a specific purpose for me, and so I accept that and I'm thankful for being the way I am.

No I would just think that they did not fully understand Apsergers. Since I would have been disappointed if I had not had an aspie child, it is not even a possibility from me to do as a parent and probably not from NT mom since she is well educated about aspergers.

bookwormde

Some people with asperger syndrome are more badly affected by it than others.

People with high functioning autism can be very bright whereas people with serve autism can be very handicapped, like at the Gateaway club I go to, some of the people there are very servely handicapped which means I don't always fit in very well. I went there because I tried to belong to a normal youth club a number of times, but all the girls wanted to do was sit around and smoke and talk about boys, which wasn't me.

Since I joined the pub group in April 2000 it has been very sucessful as I have met people who have shared simular experiences with.

I am also in the Roller Coaster Club Of Great Britain which again proved to be very sucessful as everyone was very supportive towards me when I went to Blackpool. The thing about that club is that there were a cross section of all different people including ones with asperger syndrome and other disabilities.

Oh, my parents have said that particular phrase to me frequently, but I just don't care anymore. I did at first, but now I just tune it out.

Actually it is usually me who says that one especially in an awkward situation.

Yes it would, especially since my mother has already told me that she still loves me knowing I have it. In fact she told me she loves me even more because of it. But if my dad were still living when I found out I had it, he would just say it was an excuse not to fit in and make a decent living.