Not Using Peoples Names

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Straying further off-topic: What's a therianthrope?

I've been called a lifestyler before by furries, for similar reasons re: cats. I don't have a lot of use for the standard "furry culture" though with all its anthropomorphic cats. I'd rather be an ailuromorphic human.

I've heard that animal-related special interests are more common in girls than boys who are autistic, but is there any actual evidence for that beyond Tony Attwood's word for it?

I hardly use peoples names. Not on people i know well atleast. My bf gets called by nickname most of the time.

John Elder Robison (author of the autobiography Look Me in the Eye) is the Aspie who referred to his wife as "Unit Two." He did indeed have trouble calling people by their given names. He usually referred to his brother as "Varmint."

Oddly enough, I've never had this problem... but I do have trouble remembering some people's names, even though I tend to remember their faces very well.

That's funny.

I know someone whose cousin had a speech delay and first started talking at a family reunion. His first words were, to his brother, "You ain't nothin but a flea-bitten varmint."

Wikipedia Entry for Therianthrope

Lines should be drawn here to distinguish between clinical lycanthropes, mythological/literary lycanthropes, those who feel a certain kinship with an animal, and furries. These groups may (and sometimes do) overlap, but they are still distinct groups. Clinical lycanthropes hold a conviction that they themselves are actually animal-human hybrids, but often have not yet transformed for whatever reason. (I roomed with one for a while who insisted on eating raw pork once a month. NOT healthy.) A mythological/literary lycanthrope exists in myth or literature, so it does not apply beyond the written page. There are many who feel kinship or intrinsic similarity to certain animals, but they don't necessarily have mystical beliefs about it. They can be called 'therianthropes' in only a loose, poetic, perhaps romantic sense. I'm guessing here, but SotiCoto may be saying he belongs in this category? Perhaps he feels very strongly drawn to or similar to cats, although he doesn't harbor notions that he is actually of a hybrid species.

Furries necessarily have an interest in human-animal hybrids of some sort. Very few happen to be clinical lycanthropes, the vast majority instead just feel a kinship of some depth. However, to be Furry ALSO implies interest in anthropomorphic art or literature, or participation in Furry Culture. A "Furry Lifestyler", as I assume it's meant, is someone for whom the animal interest is so strong, it plays a major part in their daily life. For many Furry Lifestylers, it plays such a role that they even form their friendships and sexual partnerships within the same framework.

Ha ha.

Wow. I'd noticed this about myself, but I never considered it an AS trait.

I usually just...don't use peoples' names. I'll just just "hi" or say whatever it is I have to say. If there's a good group of us, I'll use names...

After reading this though, I have noticed that I rarely call people who are VERY close to me by their common name (girlfriends, etc.)...if they go by a nickname, I'll call them by their birth name, things like that (but I make sure they're okay with it, I won't do it if it annoys them)...

I hate it when people call me by my real name, or by my dad's name. At work, people would ask me what I liked to be called, and I told them...and they'd keep calling me by my dad's name anyway

It's also weird for people to call me things out of context...like if someone calls me by my real name online, or by my handle offline...or I have a group of friends who have a special nickname for me (my parents have one too), and if anyone outside that group calls me by that name, it's just...wrong. It's like they're pretending to be someone they're not.

I even feel a little weird with "SabbraCadabra", as it's not my steady handle

Whew! Thanks Sabbra (is that okay? ), i was beginning to think i was completely alone in having a harder time with people who are closer. So far the other responders say the opposite, that it's hard to do unless the person is close.

I wonder what on earth makes the difference between having a difficult time with calling names of those who are close as opposed to calling names of those who are not well known.

I avoid using peoples names. Oddly enough, my childrens names I love using. Perhaps because I made them and they have special meaning to me. Everyone else though, I don't even call them anything. I say what I have to say. It does make approaching them, getting their attention, etc more difficult though.

I also don't like people to use my name. Its always felt fake to me for some reason. When people say my name I have this odd dissociative feeling thats hard to explain.

Good thread. I was just thinking this morning that I don't like hearing my own name. It makes me feel embarrassed. I don't like any kind of attention.

I could never call my husband by his name (and we were together for 8 years). I have no idea why, but it just felt really really awkward to do so. However, when I was refering to him, to other people, I had no problem using his name. When talking to him I would tend to just say what I had to say and assume that he would pick it up - often a problem if there were other people around. He would get really annoyed/upset that I wouldnt use his name, but I just couldnt bring myself to do it.

Of other people I know, there are always a few who I never call by name, but others whose name causes me no problem whatsoever - I cant work it out. As other people have mentioned, I also find my own name a bit strange - particularly in its full length form. I actually quite like my first name and dont mind people calling me that, but with my surname tagged on, it just sounds silly (but I imagine only to me).

I realise it's silly but I only feel comfortable using names when I need to catch someone's attention or draw a distinction within a group.Anything else feels too much like
familiarity.I think it stems from an underlying shyness that's never really left me since I was a teenager.
Maybe it's a counteraction to the opposite extreme that I hear when people hold
conversations in the style of "You know Jane,I went to that store you like yourself Jane
and I really like it too Jane etc." That's equally silly !

Yeah, I'm glad this topic was mentioned, since I've always had the same problem. Apart from close family members and a few close friends, I never call people by their names. It's not that I forget their names, I just never use them, except when I'm talking to one particular person in a group. It just seems wrong using people's names somehow; almost like they're private, and shouldn't be uttered out loud. It's completely stupid I know, but it's one of the many things that people love* me for.

*Definition of 'love' here being very liberal. You could substitute it for 'hate' without changing the meaning too much. Ar.

General: "Addressing people by name" (from May '07)-
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt29420.html

I avoid speaking or typing people's names, it feels awkward & creepy if I have to do so. I don't like to hear my name, though I can't explain why-I don't mind my name, so that's not it. Silly, squirmy, squeamish, that's how I feel about addressing people as proper names instead of vague pronouns. It's irrational, by it's my bizarre subjective personal preference. At least, when I use the quote button on the forum, I don't have to write out a name, it's done for me, which I appreciate.
I instantly forget the names of people I meet IRL because of how stressed & anxious I am in any social situtation. My feeling embarrassed about using people's names is a separate thing, though-I often dislike titles or names (as a concept in general, or the particular words) for persons, places, things, works of writng or art, logos & slogans for consumer products, etc. It's hard for words to seem like they mean anything anymore, because so much gets said (and which may be more or less genuine) by so many about everything-tough to sort through it all. I'm tangenting, sorry...
It's the opposite for people I learn about through the media, at a distance, over time, through repetition. I have a mental library of names of individuals that seemed interesting to me-certain actors, authors, musicians, artists, and so on. I don't mind talking about these people (and saying their names) because it feels safely impersonal & indirect to think about or notice these people. I'm not actually communicating with them, we're not sharing an environment-so I can feel comfortable enough to pay attention to these far-away (tv or magazine) people.
Social skills & making friends: "Saying someone's name, or mentioning it" (Nov. '05)-
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt5568.html

Feels creepy using someone's name. Since I'm usually around only 1 other person at a time I just talk. Like to have labels or descriptive words to think with-but despise titles for objects. Like naming a product or an artwork, seems so fake & manipulative. Names for people-very common ones bother me & extremely uncommon ones bother me (not a completely accurate generalization). Hard to find a comfortable medium, not too simple & not too difficult. I don't like to hear my name called out loud (wouldn't matter what my name is)-I get sick of it fast.
Brandnames repel and deter me. The desperation to be both original & familiar, it's just so...
Random example:
"Sedan"-that's a vehicle, informational, so that's an okay word there.
"Corolla"-that's a model, a product, and the name is utterly devoid of meaning. Maybe in another time & place, but here & now, as an advertisement, it's been sucked dry of being a real word.
Not trying to be culturally/linguistically insensitive to anyone, hope my point comes across.

Yes, ditto that. I love movies and have worked hard at my visual memory skills on the faces of actors. They don't seem quite real, i guess.

I have always hated hearing my own name and utterly loathed and despised having to say my own name. I've always presumed it was because i don't like my name, but i am doubting that after reading these posts. Now that i think of it, i don't so much mind being called a shortened form or nickname, but still hate to speak those, too. It's even more difficult for me to do that than to call others by their names.

I hate having to use others' names, most of all those close to me - I have to brace myself for a few seconds before saying it.

I also don't like saying my own name, but for a different reason: I pronounce it wrong when I'm nervous, and I'm always nervous when I have to introduce myself.

I also hate people saying my name, I feel trapped into having to respond to it.. although sometimes I don't respond to it at all - I just don't notice that someone said it. Worst is when my students are formal and use my surname and I can tell they're scared of me. I don't want to be scary.

Come to think of it, I don't know if I ever said my ex-husband's name when I addressed him. I didn't like the sound of his name. I had all sorts of odd little pet names for him that were variations on his name, but I can't honestly remember actually saying his real name .

Come to think of it, though, I rarely use names, unless there is a reason. I remember names - any patient name that I type at work, I remember. Their faces, not so much, but their names (especially if I see them instead of hear them) yes. Saying names seems silly if I am already talking to the person, they know who they are.

I don't mind people using my name. What is funny is that people start out using the shortened version of my name, and eventually they stretch it out to the more childish sounding version (which is funnier still, because the more childlike longer version is actually the legal version - I guess there may be a reason that the more child-like name just fits me, ). If they use my name, its like an acknowledgement that they actually *do* see me, if that makes sense.