Put a percentage on why you don't talk much

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2%-----Not enough courage built up to initiate needed conversation
3%-----Can't think of appropriate reply
5%-----Miss chance while thinking out appropriate reply
30%----Shutdown from: interaction overload, sensory overload and/or(perceived or actual)
negative or threatening interaction
60%----Brain engaged elsewhere:i just don't wanna make the effort to switch gears (if that would even be possible) or it's topic would be ignored

It should be noted that at this point in my life about 95% of my time is spent strictly with my immediate family. I also only considered time that i might otherwise have some reason or inclination to talk, i.e. i have something that should be communicated or conversation is going on around me and i 'should' join in.

Last edited by deadpanhead on 24 May 2008, 9:39 am, edited 2 times in total.

40% nothing to say
30% mumble & speak too fast... end up repeating everything twice (my fault, I know)
20% I get distracted/ other person gets distracted/ I'm talked over/ I feel like I'm wasting their time
10% I just really hate small talk. I figure, for the amount of information that's being exchanged, I may as well just open my mouth and just go 'blalalalala....' (which is probably what I sound like )

I would say:

10% of times I just forget to talk (greetings etc) because I am busy thinking about things and dont even see the person (or its too late by the time I do see them)

40% of times I have nothing to say and my mind is blank.

40% of times I have things I could say, but I have a block preventing me from speaking - this isnt shyness (Im not scared of speaking), but it requires so much effort that I decide it isnt worth it. This depends a lot on mood - when I am depressed I dont speak at all because the effort necessary is overwhelming. When I am really happy then the block isnt usually there any more.

And the other 10% is for those times when I have something to say and I dont have this 'block', but either I just dont find a good place in the conversation to say it or it is something a bit nerve-wracking to say and I'm too scared.

What I LOVE is where you have a clear clean break, maybe even YOU started, and you stop for even a second, or maybe DON'T stop, and some idiot comes by and breaks in(After OBVIOUSLY seeing you there). You then figure "THIS IS NUTS", and continue the thought EVEN if it is only a few words, and the IDIOTS tell you to NO INTERRUPT!! !! !! ! GIVE ME A BREAK!

80% I'm lost in thought.

10% shy

10% i don't know what to say.

30%: I can't decide what I want to say before the conversation moves on
30%: I am doing something /concentrating on something and I don't want to talk, or I am lost in my own world, very happily, with no forwarding address.
10%: People can't understand what I am saying and make things worse by demanding explanations in the middle of a thought or, very rudely, just walk away as I continue on without them Its just easier to not talk and not have to be interrogated or ignored.
10%: I can't find an opening in the conversation
10% : I have no idea how to continue the conversation
10%: Someone invariably walks between me and the party I *was* talking to, and takes over the conversation like I am not there.

30% Anxiety
40% Not knowing what to say
30% Im focusing on something else

I talk a lot! But when I keep silent, it is often because:

60% boredom of people around me
40% because my mouth/mind won't work

60% that I can't think of something relevant to say
20% that I want to but can't find an opportunity to jump into a conversation
20% that no one I want to talk to wants to talk to me.

40% - no one around to talk to...
20% - no one will listen/interrupt (I think there's a time of silence that others interpret as a 'period'
in the conversation, and their queue to 'start up'...
30% - not having anything interesting or impressive enough to say
10% - not comfortable talking

I'm 36 and my reasons have varied at different ages.

School: 100% had to shut up in order to be a good student/fit in (teachers and peers complained I was too quiet and should speak up sometimes but if I had I would have been a misfit academically and socially. Might have been better, I don't know, but at that age my cost/benefit analysis demanded I stay silent and follow instructions.)

Twenties: 50% fear of people, 50% busy coping with being overwhelmed by life.

Thirties:
20% don't understand what people are talking about, or where they are coming from, since their life experience is very different from mine.
20% can't think up sentences fast enough.
20% don't have people around to talk to (would be a higher percentage if it bothered me more).
20% think verbal communication is superficial; if a person is reading me, my words aren't much of a clue to my thoughts.
20% busy fashioning a language that works for me, which I will share with people when I'm ready to.

I cant really make a percentage breakdown because I often talk, though some people I cant really talk to, such as relatives, I dont like them knowing stuff about me.

I used to open my mouth and words would pour out, uncensored. People would tell me to be careful what I said, but I found that very hard; I never knew what I was going to say until it was out in the open. Often it wasnt actually what I meant anyway.

Nowadays I try and measure my words a bit more when I say them, my sentences come out sounding odd and pre-analysed but I find it hard to talk because people generally dont like to hear my automatic responses, I have to try and dress my sentences up for them in little Vivienne Westwood dresses and Gucci shoes so that I wont get in another conflict with them.

20% shy and/or fear of rejection
10% in the process of learning from someone
15% don't want to scare other other people
20% would have to offer parrhesia (aspies should know this word)
35% small talk is sooooooo far beneath me

I actually talk a lot. If I don't talk to someone in particular, it's most likely because they want nothing to do with me or vice versa. Plus if that person seems intimidating, I'll most likely never speak to them.

Um...If I had to put it into percentages:

95% not being able to think of a suitable topic for conversation.
3% not being able to think of anything suitable to say in the existing conversation.
1% thinking deeply about something else.
1% not in talking mode.

Not me. Reveal, please.

99.9% don't need to talk