being touched

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I find unexpected touch very overwhelming and unpleasant. Shaking hands with someone is enough to make my mind 'cut out' for a short while. I can tolerate touch from close family in particular ways I'm expecting.

I'm very much like you, and I'm told that I was even moreso as a child. The caveat is that I have to be in control of the touching, or it can get very uncomfortable for me. I enjoy snuggling with my cats especially.

As a child I loathed being touched. This used to really upset my mother. Sometimes she's touch me and I'd jump away like she'd burned me or something. This was in the days before "Aspergers" was even heard of. Over the years I'm got much better but dislike being touched unexpectedly. I'm also extremely ticklish over large parts of my body - my skin is like a minefield to touch.

I enjoy shaking hands with people now though. It seems to be good for social interaction.

if i can see it coming i am fine but if they just come up behind me and touch me i freak out and on a few ocassions fallen over paralized.

am get extremely overloaded if am touched lightly or brushed,it's extremely overloading,it's a instant meltdown set off.
this week,one of the nasty home staff tried restraining from the back and did a lot of light touch and brushing whilst she and the rest of the staff team crowded into am,the end result of what she did was the emergency oncall home manager being called out, she saw what was going on and said to the staff its one of the worst things they can do to a person with autism, and took am back in so am could type why had tried to --what they call-- abscond,the nasty staff is now on forced 'annual leave' for a week,she knew not to do it as she has known am for years,they also have a legal doc on am called guidelines which states how to treat am,what restraints to use etc and no light touch/brushing etc is on there,and they have to use it.

I am such a weirdo about this. I have a pretty long list of innate touching 'rules'. Some of it may be due to the fact that i have a very large number of siblings and a fairly physically affectionate family. In earliest memory i did not mind any touching, though i am told i screamed at diaper changes. When i got into full blown childhood, though, i hated my mother's patting and touching and never understood why. I felt guilty about it and tolerated it for the sake of relationship as Digger1 said. I never did and still don't at all mind almost any hugs. I tend to truly like people, almost every one i meet, and don't even have to know them well to accept a hug. (Having a conversation is a different story! ) The hug exception would be if i am busy, even just mentally and it applies to everyone, even my children. But i give them a bit then try to politely extract myself. The only extended touching that i'm okay with is with my husband, though i'm very fussy about it being either too hard or soft. I do get very tense when brushed against like in groups or of hands, etc, when working with someone. I HATE being tickled.

That's a good and important thing to sacrifice for. It is good for them.



I've had the same problem. My hub used to get offended and think that i was 'punishing' him by withholding affection. I was able to finally help him understand that i just needed the space at those times and that the touching made me less able to work it out.

Here are a couple of funny (now) touch stories dealing with strangers:

I actually got rid of my favorite sweater because of touching. It was a sweet, soft angora (bunny hair) button down that i loved, but people kept petting it! It was okay with friends and family as it wasn't on my skin, but then a total stranger, a guy, in line in front of me in the store actually pet my arm!! That was the last straw and the sweater was gone!

A few months ago i was taking a craft class that i'd always wanted to do. On the last night the instructor was showing me how to solder and at one point came over and grabbed my hand!! ! It surprised even me, but i had an actual meltdown. I maintained all the cool i could, but think everyone could tell i was not okay. I told them i had a migraine coming on (which i did after that) and got the hades out of there! It wasn't funny then but it kind of is now, especially when i let my imagination run on what they might have been thinking of me.

Last edited by deadpanhead on 26 May 2008, 2:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm learning alot from you folks here.

In my job I come in physical contact with patients as a normal course of my work.
One of the things I have always felt I should do is make intimate contact with my patients... let me explain the word 'intimate'.

What I mean is skin-to-skin contact... not anything sexual.

Ever since the early 80's when AIDS first appeared as a public issue, medical persons have resorted to wearing gloves pretty much all the time around patients.
This and the fact that when obtaining some samples from patients I must wear those blue paper gowns and sometimes a mask, I feel so disconnected from my patients.

I worry that they feel ignored or pretty much just a piece of meat.

So, when I can do so safely (for the patient or me), I will remove my gloves after I'm done and give them a light touch on the arm or shoulder.
I do try to do this only if I can tell the patient might not object, but I cannot read every person 100% of the time.

Seeing all your posts helps me think more about my patients and the varied ways I might communicate a sense of caring, of acknowledgment that they are still people to me. Perhaps without the touching sometimes.

I don't mind being touched.

unless I see it coming I hate being hugged or touched, the worst is handshakes I never see those coming.

I like to be touched and hugged, but only when I want to be; I hate to be touched if I don't want it. It's all I can do to snap the person's head off, but, of course, I'm nice and polite and restrain myself. My mom jokes that that's why I love cats, 'cause they're the same way. I don't want to be bothered if I don't want to be bothered.

Even as a young child, I hated it. My paternal grandfather, who was a fantastic, great man and whom I loved dearly, had a habit of playfully pretending to "push" my belly button while saying "choong", and I HATED it. I'd start to cry when he did it and no one could figure out what the hell my problem was. Decades later, I now know what my problem was. My mother would pat my back and it would literally HURT, I was that sensitive.

These days I don't like touch at all, unless it's on my own terms from certain people, ie. A hug from a family member. Alot of people's touch gives me a shiver up my spine, makes me fell uncomfortable and at worst upset.

It's funny, when I was little, I remember not being able to go to school in the mornings without a long cuddle from my mother. Sometimes she had to tap me on the head at night to get me to sleep. Strange how these things vary.

omgosh yes i hate being touched, my bf goes crazy cuz he always wants affection and i dont do affection or touching or anything like that, drives me insane!

I don't like it at all. Sometimes it really upsets me and at other times I just feel awkward, but consistently I just don't like it. It's lead to major arguments with my mother, because I flinch from her touch. There are times when I can tolerate it, but I think I just don't feel the same things from hugs and things as others. When I'm touched I'm also more likely to have a meltdown.

yes, its because its unexpected i think - i react badly too



had a similar experience at work too, a few months back an ex-collegue dropped by and everyone was all hugging her - i shouted "hi" and
pretended to be busy to avoid the hugging

shaking hands is horrible too. i always feel uncomfortable with that.

rush-hour trains and accidental contact with strangers is terrible. i feel my space has been invaded when that happens

Don't touch this! topic

Loathe it. Especially light touch, say up and down the arm. Talk about sensory overload. Thankfully I have a look I give people that lets them know to back off. Even Phil Collins' invisible touch is sheer torture. Just the thought of it.

But give me that deep pressure.

I will not be touched by strangers/public.

I hate. Hate. Hate. It.

When I have to go out im like a fish or an insect trying to weave and not be touched.
I wish I was one of those people that others move out the way of when they walk.

My mum keeps being lovey and touchy at the moment which I hate, it feels like I can't breathe but im not sure what to do.

I give family hugs and kisses occasionally when they insist.

My dog can have a love whenever she wants