Making YOU responsible for what happened to you is as old as human society, if not longer.
First, it solves the problem quickly; they don't need to support you, give you advice, God forbid help you. All you need to do is not run away next time and everything will be fine in your life. Presto! Now we go to the beach.
Secondly, they can be (falsely, of course) delluded that what happened to you will never happen to them, because THEY wouldn't run away from John.
Thirdly, they make sure you never come to them again with your problems - because you'll be blamed for them anyway.
Fourthly, most people find that by making themselves responsible for what happens to them, they feel better - because they feel in control of what will happen and not happen to them in life. So they're like telling you that you have the power to give the story a good ending for you.
And lastly, NTs love feeling that issues have simple solutions that don't require them to actually ANALYSE/THINK.
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So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.