If Aspies know their interests put people off....

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I've had to re-evaluate some of my interests; when you have books vs. needing groceries (and have no money), you re-evaluate exactly how much you need those books (well, some of them).

I mainly keep my interests to myself. I just come here and bore you guys with them..

How could cute little meerkats put people off?

I always thought if my interests were "sexy" I could yak all night and only score points. So I became a sociologist and specialized in cultural studies. (Well, that's not why I went that route, but I figured it would help a lot!) I research stuff like the history of punk rock, I make theories about rock & roll, I've touched on subcultures like goths, mods, and skinheads in my research, and so on and so forth.

I've found that you can bore anybody with anything, unfortunately.

Shutting out your interests doesn't work either though. It leads to depression. I can't even imagine being NT without feeling sad because they are so tedious to me. I wish ordinary things made me happy like everyone else but they just make me feel like I want to kill myself. I'm not joking. When I hear a typical NT conversation I have the urge to put a bullet in my skull.

So I've just come to accept that I am boring to people and people bore me. There's no way around it.

Tedious isn't even the word for it. They say we are trapped "in our own little worlds," but by the time most NT's reach a certain age you couldn't pry many of them out of their limited worldviews with a crowbar.

I know NT's who have the boringish subjects that I look at the clock out of pure boredom. This one girl talks about the office all the time. IT IS SO ANNOYING!! !!
I think I have creeped ppl out with my interest but not for a long time.

I just make myself talk about a variety of things, every single day, including my obsessions. I like to mix it up, so that I don't bore people with my special interests.

I never talk about my interests, unless its with my close friends or it comes up in conversation. They are weird for someone my age and I realize this. I usually just end up talking about silly nonsense.. if its someone who I have to be serious around I don't talk at all.

Often, I'm only aware in retrospect.


M.

I learned to keep it to myself after being nicknamed "birdgirl" in high school. Oh, and the fact I drew Pokemon on the chalkboards when I was 17...

I was told often as child that I was boring for talking about my interests. My father was the worst for this often harshly telling me to shut up or mocking me for it. As a result, I learned not to talk about them. I have precious little else to say so now I'm rebuked and mocked for being silent.

You can't win with people.

That is very true! I've actually noticed that everyday. I don't see adults going around trying to make people's acquaintance in their everyday lives. I do only see it when there is a social gathering and they can potentially use someone else for a gain like in their jobs. That's it.

I see people alone all the time doing their adult things.

Makes me wonder if everyone either went along with the social conformity game in school just to please everyone else and those that didn't see the point in it.

We moved around a lot. I learned from meeting the different people at different schools that YES something is different about me, and that other people notice it when I speak. So I learned not to speak about anything that is remotely interesting to me to anyone that I ever want to speak to again, because it drove away enough different people at enough different schools that I realised it was me. I wanted people to allow me to hang out in/around their social groups, even just to listen, so I learned to shut myself up. Most children stay in one school system their entire life (i beleive), so they would not have the realisation that it isn't other people who have the problem.

I also had to be careful at home not to show stuff that I liked because normal groundings didn't work on me (I didn't go outside anyways). When I got grounded they took away something I liked doing (you should have seen the time they took away all my books, yeah that lasted for about a week)

Now I am in college, and have had to learn that it is acceptable to speak of those things that interest you. The difference here is that I have to speak to certain people about certain subjects, and remember not to go too far in depth unless the other person starts it.

The concept of "If they are your friend/SO they will want to share your interests" is good in theory, but not in overall practice. If a person is around you sooooooo much that they can recite word for word what the spiel is for a given topic then you need to find a new topic to discuss. Sometimes two people love/like each other simply because they do, not because they share a common interest, in this situation, moderation is called for.

But whether the obsessive subject of interest is of higher priority than a social life depends solely on the Aspergian themselves. For most I think it would rank significantly higher on the priorities list.

Well I've learned to only talk about my interests with people who are interested or when people ask, and then only to an extent that's appropriate. I don't offer too much information... This does lead to many a situation where conversations go silent because I find it very difficult to sympathise with people's relationship problems, be interested in their antics at drunken parties, etcetera. Haha. The world would be so much better if everyone had AS.

Fortunately I've got an NT mate who is awesome, into music and computers, smart, funny and with a good negative world view like mine He's turned me onto some of his interests too and we never piss each-other off.

It helped being diagnosed and learning about special interests and how to have a two-sided conversation.

Yeah. And it's very frustrating. Nobody shares my interests, and so many family members and acquaintances have made it clear that my interests are idiosyncratic and annoying that I simply do not talk. And then I get reprimanded for being quiet and socially inept.

This also makes me depressed sometimes. I can't talk with anyone about anything that I really want to talk about... and so I just keep my speech very limited.

You have every right to feel this way. The people who all have their own limited discussions don't know what it feels like to be scolded for talking and scolded for not talking. I'm sure if they went through that repeatedly, they too would get upset.

How would they respond? Also, what is this empathy and sympathy I keep hearing about? I never see anyone truely care or can really put themselves in someone else's shoes unless they have already been there before.

Such lies. Next time someone scolds you for not speaking what you say is "Well, when I do speak everyone gets upset with me so how would you feel if it happened to you?"

The word "feel" seems to be the thinking keyword.